Safe Sex

SSC

In my last post I mentioned some of the things my Mistress is training me in, some of which push the boundaries of my existing limits and someone expressed concern for my safety in the comments so I wanted to address that in this post.

I have always had a strange relationship with limits, yes I do have them despite what people might think but I really REALLY enjoy when they are pushed and broken, it’s part of who I am. That said I would only ever allow someone that I had complete trust in to go beyond those limits.

I’ve been into the BDSM scene for quite a long time now and in the past it was very much focused on the latter two letters of that acronym and if I’m perfectly honest it wasn’t always done safely and it’s only as I’ve got older that I am very much more aware of the need for things to be done safely.

To list just some of the ill-advised things I’ve done in the past:

  • Had unprotected sex with complete strangers on multiple occasions
  • Had unsterilised needles, skewers and fish hooks pierced through my flesh
  • Been left tied up for long periods when the person tying my had no idea how to bind someone safely
  • Been burnt more severely than is safe for play
  • Injected substances into my body without being fully aware if it is safe to do so

Fortunately for me I came through all of the above intact and more or less healthy but I am well aware that things could have been different and the older me is a little ashamed of the younger me for not taking better care of myself.

I’ve suffered fractured bones, infected cuts, severe bruising and more urinary infections than I can count through BDSM but despite of this I don’t regret doing anything I have done over the years, maybe only the lack of precautions I took whilst doing some of it.

My Mistress has a lot of experience in the things we are doing now and I have full trust in her ability to keep me safe whilst she expands my limits in the way that she wants to, for instance you mentioned there are health concerns with “full toilet service”? We are well aware of this and Mistress has already altered my diet and is giving me strong (and expensive!) pro-biotic supplements to improve the condition and resilience of my digestive system well in advance of beginning that activity.

As for the play partners, they may be random strangers to me but they are absolutely not strangers to my Mistress. I am precious to her and she would only loan me to someone that she trusts absolutely to take my safety into account as much as she would herself.

My eye is pretty much healed now so slapping training will be continuing soon and Mistress has also expressed to me that she will soon be giving me a week during which time she intends to torture me daily using nothing but my own orgasms. It sounds both exciting and terrifying!

A new story

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I had intended writing about my collaring for today but I’ve been a bit tied up, not literally unfortunately, and haven’t finished writing about that yet and I want to do the experience justice so I’ve going to save it for next week.

Instead I’ve finished a new story that I’ve been working on for a little while, it’s called Stranger on a Train, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. It’s a long time since I’ve written any fiction stories so please feel free to give critique, it will help me when I write more stories (there’s at least one more in the works!).

If you want to read any of my other fiction stories you can find them all on the stories page.

Dogging week: Wednesday

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The meeting place for this night was actually quite close to where I live so I got ready and then set off shortly before the 11pm meeting time. The only thing I knew about the person I was meeting was that he was a fairly good-looking, well-built black guy (I’d been sent a picture) and that he would be in a silver BMW, as I pulled into the dark car park of the woodland area I could see the car and parked near to it.

It was quite cold when I stepped out of the car and it was painful to stand on the gravel in my bare feet. As instructed I was wearing a short black body hugging dress over some lacy black lingerie and nothing else, as instructed my keys were the only things I took with me as I approached his car walking gingerly on the gravel.

As I approached the door he climbed out of the car, he looked to be early to mid forties and was wearing jeans, Timberland type boots and a thin jumper. He was quite muscly and was carrying a black bag over his shoulder and was smiling a wide smile as he looked me over in a way that felt invasive, the first thing he said to me was “Keys”.

I handed him my car keys and then he told me to turn around, as soon as I did he wrapped his arms around me pinning my arms to my sides while he pulled me against his body. I could feel his cock growing hard against my back as he roughly fondled my breasts through my clothes, then he pulled my dress up exposing my ass (I was only wearing a thong) and gave my cheek a hard slap before saying “Walk!”.

It felt like we’d been walking in silence along the path for about ten minutes, the only interaction was the occasional hard slap of my ass until he said “stop here and turn around”. I did and saw him standing with my keys in his hand, then without turning his head he flung my keys to the side.

I watched them fly through the air for about eight meters and then disappear into the middle of a huge bush of waist-high nettles, I have to be honest in my head I said “Oh you fucking asshole” but I opened and then closed my mouth without saying anything and looked back at his grinning face, he thought it was hilarious as he motioned to turn round and said “Walk” again.

We walked for another few minutes and then a hand on my shoulder guided me left off the path and into the woods which was really tough on my feet for the next five minutes, then another hand on my shoulder stopped me by a large tree with a rope hanging from one of its branches.

The guy took a length of rope from his bag and said “hands”, I put my hands out in front of me and he wrapped the rope around them and tied it. It wasn’t a complicated or pretty knot but it was sufficient, I couldn’t get free. He told me to stand under the rope dangling from the tree and put my hands in the air, the dangling rope went around my wrist restrains and was pulled until I was just on my tip toes and then tied it off.

I have to admit I was a little scared as he tied a scarf around my head leaving me blind and totally helpless in the hands of a strange man in the middle of the woods. He wasn’t finished though, I felt cold metal against my skin and then heard the ripping as he cut and ripped my dress down the front until it fell off me, then my bra went the same way and my nipples immediately grew hard in the cool air. He grabbed the front of my thong and pulled it up really hard, the thin material pulled between my pussy lips and cut into my pussy painfully, then they pulled it away from my body, obviously in bits, leaving me naked.

I couldn’t tell if it was a whip or a twig that he hit me with but the next ten minutes were spent with him walking around me randomly swatting different parts of my body with something thin that I’d later find out left thin red welts all over me. Once he got bored with that he came up behind me and whispered “stay still for this part” in my ear and then he moved in front of me.

He grabbed one of my breasts and I felt the cold, wet tip of a marker pen on my skin. Obviously I didn’t find out until later what he had written but I’ll describe what he wrote anyway, because I know now. He drew a circle around each of my nipples and wrote “TWIST” above one and “BITE” above the other, then he wrote in large letters on my stomach “I FUCK STRANGERS BAREBACK” before writing “CUM SLUT” on the front of one thigh and “PAIN SLUT” on the front of the other.

d3d3335a1c512f21f735f7c7a63b60dbHe moved behind me and I felt him drawing something large on my back and then colouring it in. It was a huge queen of spades logo that basically covered my entire back. For those who don’t know what that is have a look here. His final decoration was to write “ANAL SLUT” across my ass cheeks, apparently he liked the word “slut”!

Once his artwork was done he went back to whipping, this time I’m sure it was a twig but a bigger one, the strikes were harder and more painful and concentrated on my ass. He gave me about twenty hard hits leaving about ten seconds between each one and by the last my ass was really sore and burning.

He was pretty strong, stood in front of me he gripped my thighs and easily lifted me off the ground and brought me down on his rock hard cock which had no problem sliding into my very wet pussy, what can I say? I’m a masochist!

Rather than thrusting himself in and out of me he fucking me by lifting me up and down, effectively massaging his cock with my pussy. I was completely helpless and was basically a passenger as he used my body to masturbate and then cum inside me before I was even close to an orgasm. That sounds like I didn’t enjoy it but I really did, I was inside my own head loving the humiliation of my body being used entirely for him to pleasure himself.

Once he was done he let go of me and disappeared for a bit, I could feel his cum running out of me and down my thigh as I stood there unable to move. I began to worry he’d left me there but then after a while I heard him approach and his hands were on me again, squeezing my sore ass and then one hand began twisting my nipple as his teeth closed around the other.

He bit down really hard and twisted the other nipple just as severely and I couldn’t do anything except let him and try to make noises to indicate it was getting too much without actually saying so. I’m sure some of you have been bitten before, it’s so painful having your nipples bitten especially when it goes past a certain point, eventually he stopped and I couldn’t help but gasp “fuuuuck” which got a loud laugh from him before his hand went between my legs. Obviously he found a swamp down there and said “like that did we?” before wiping a lot of cummy mess across my mouth.

Then followed more whipping with the twig, it was back to all over me though and he rarely hit my ass again,  most of them landed on my tits which hurt quite a lot. The worst was when one hit the nipple that he had bitten, it was already throbbing and when the twig hit it there was a burst of pain that caused one of the few yelps that escaped me that night.

Eventually the whipping ended, my body was stinging and tingling and aching all over but mainly my arms were really sore by this point, they weren’t about to get any relief though. He moved behind me again and did the reverse of before, grabbing my thighs and lifting me from behind. His cock slid into my pussy easily once again and then he pulled it out, coated in mess and positioned it against my ass.

He was quite slow as he used my weight to lower me onto his cock, the mess from my pussy provided some lubrication but I could still feel my ass stretching around his cock as he lowered me down. Everyone knows the thing about all black guys having huge cocks, I’ve no idea if that is true or not because my experience is limited but this guys was neither huge or small, it was average sized!

He must have been in good shape because once again he used my body like a fleshlight, lifting and lowering my body to fuck his cock. Fortunately for him though he didn’t last too long this time and his cock was soon twitching in my ass before he left me to hang again. He must not have had much cum left to give because nothing came out of me as I hung there waiting again.

He eventually let me down and I basically fell to the floor, my arms and legs were in bits from standing on half tiptoes and having my arms strung up for so long, those pains definitely overshadowed anything else he had done.

After a few minutes I pulled off my blindfold and looked up, he was gone. I panicked a little but then got my senses together and looked for my clothes, I found them behind the tree but when I went to pick them up I realised he’d pissed all over them. I picked them up with the tips of my fingers but realised they were useless anyway and left them as I started to walk back to the car.

I found the path and had a look up and down it to try to make sure no one was coming and then started walking along staying on the grass at the side of the path to save my feet. It was really dark but as I’d been blindfolded for a couple of hours and my night vision was quite well established.

Not quite established enough for finding keys in a patch of nettles in the dark though! It took me about twenty minutes of agonizingly wading through the nettles, searching with my feet to avoid bending down into the nettles and stinging my upper body too.

Fortunately most of them weren’t quite long enough to each my pussy so I only got a few stings on my pussy and ass but my legs were covered. When I remember getting stung by nettles as a child I remember it being more the itchiness that was the problem, but fuck they do sting when they get you,  I had tears running down my face by the time I found the keys, partially from the intense stinging all over my legs and partially from the frustrating of not being able to find the keys.

I didn’t bother to dress to drive home, I just wrapped a towel around me and drove back and then curled up in my bed in my ruined makeup and with his dried cum on my thighs.

My clit ring

BloodyPussy.jpg

For those that don’t know, in order to fulfil one of my fantasies I had my clit hood reduced in size and very large ring inserted into my clit piercing without my prior knowledge or permission, you can read about it in this post.

It took me a very long time to get used to these modifications to my pussy and, if I’m honest, I have never really got used to the ring, it’s size makes it almost impossible to wear comfortably whilst wearing clothes and even when naked it’s weight pulls my clit which is a cross between constant pain and constant stimulation.

Of course that was the intention when it was “installed” and it was a very devious plan by Luke, the reduction of my hood meant that my clit was never covered and therefore never protected from the stimulation or irritation provided by whatever clothing is covering it. Then there is the ring, it’s quite thick so when it is in place through the piercing behind the main nerve bundle of my clit it pushes my clit outward making it protrude even further from it’s reduce hood and therefore get even more stimulated/irritated by clothing.

All of this is really irrelevant though because the ring was sealed and therefore irremovable, by me at least and the whole point of allowing it to be done was that I then had to endure it for ever so despite wanting to remove it several times I didn’t have any intention of doing so.

Then something happened a couple of months ago, I’d had a nice soak in the bath and was doing my makeup, naked, in front of my chest of drawers. I knocked something off the top and as I squatted down to pick it up somehow the ring got caught on one of the knobs of the drawers and caused the ring to be yanked as my body moved down. I felt a sickening pain (not in ANY way a good pain) and looked down to find blood leaking down my thigh.

On closer inspection and after some calming down and cleanup I discovered I’d turn the skin/flesh next to the piercing on one side. Fortunately it had torn backwards away from my actual clit, and I really truly mean fortunately because if it had torn the other way it could potentially have severed the nerves to my clit making it essentially paralysed (or so I’m told).

After excessive use of plasters (band aids) to keep the two sides of the tear together as best as I could I spoke to Luke and then travelled to see him, he had arranged for the nurse who supervised the insertion of the ring in the first place to come as well and she looked at it as well and advised that the ring be removed and a stitch to be inserted.

Luke had to use some HUGE bolt cutters, which he had to rent from somewhere, to cut through the ring in two places and then feed the piece that remained through my body out. All the while I was sat in his arm chair with my legs spread wide and a tower under my ass in front of him and his nurse friend who I barely know!

In all she put one stitch in the tear and a butterfly stitch on either side of the piercing and then a sticky bandage thing over the whole are and advised be to leave it until the tear and piercing had healed up. That meant no clitoral stimulation for about two months, I lasted three weeks which is I thought was pretty good!

So that’s the update about my pussy, no more ring, giant or otherwise. It’s been a long time since my clit was originally pierced (I had a ring before the large ring) and it’s taken some getting used to having no jewellery down there anymore but on the plus side my pussy is once again a blank canvas. This all happened a few weeks ago so it’s pretty much healed up now and I’ve run plenty of tests to ensure all sensation has returned to the area ;).

I’ve got loads more content to write and am hoping to have time to do so over the next few weeks, plus I’m still adding stories for you to read if they float your boat. If you do read them I’d really appreciate it if you’d leave a comment and tell me what you thought, what you liked and didn’t like and what you’d like to read more about. I do intend to start writing more stories so any input would be very much appreciated!

Digital detox

digital_detox_1

I really don’t know why anyone follows this blog! I’m terribly inconsistent with writing posts and while I’ve apologised more times then I can count for it I’ve never got any better at posting regularly!

My excuse this time is that I needed a bit of a break from my online presence. I don’t want to imply that I’m more than what I am, I’m not any sort of online celebrity like has been suggested by some and despite appearances I’m not a particularly big attention seeker, although I am a little bit 🙂

I have Twitter, Tumblr, Collar Space, this blog, email and it was all getting a bit much to keep up with so I took a break.

It my own choice, not because I was ordered to by any new Mistress that some have speculated I have either! Yes I am still seeing Fiona and yes it is going well but no she didn’t order me to stop speaking to people online or anything like that. In fact she is happy for us to have an open relationship at the moment as she already has “other commitments” as well.

Whilst I haven’t been online in my usual ways recently I have been having some fun, at least one eagle eyed reader saw a post I made on a website relating to something I did a couple of weeks ago which fulfilled a couple of things from my fantasies list.

This is something I’ve thought about doing for a long time but haven’t got round to arranging until recently, or rather having someone else arrange. The premise was this; I would post an advert on a dogging website inviting people to “apply” to use me for whatever they wanted for one night (or actually a few hours) and five successful applicants would get to do what they wanted on five consecutive nights. The applications would go to a third party (who will remain anonymous) and they would organise all the details, all I’d know is where to be and when each night.

Here is the advert, which was written by me but edited and approved by the person who organised it:

I am a female submissive masochist in her early thirties and based in Cambridgeshire who craves cruel humiliation, degradation and rough use by strangers. I have brown hair, am 5′ 9″ with a slim build.To fulfil these needs a Dominant has instructed me to post this advert.

I am looking for singles or couples of any gender/colour/age/weight/etc who would enjoy playing with me one night next week (5th – 9th September 2016) with no strings attached. The Dominant will choose from those who reply to this advert (assuming anyone does!) and I will play with one each night next week.

This is a genuine offer and I am very excited about it.

If this interests you, please reply to this advert before midnight on Thursday and include the following:

  • A little detail about yourself
  • A picture of yourself
  • Broadly what you would like to do with me
  • Where you would like to meet
  • Your email address (important!)

I will forward all replies (without reading them) to the Dominant who will choose the five for me to play with and contact (hence needing your email address) them directly to arrange the details, I will not be involved in the selection process and will be submissive to you when I arrive at the designated meeting place (hotel/woodland/public bathrooms).

Again, this is a genuine offer so only genuine and sensible replies with all the information requested please.

The website that I posted this on has a mailbox and mine was pretty much full for the next few days which ended up equating to twenty “applications” being made, all describing what they wanted to do with me.

I’d obviously discussed this with the person who organised the evenings in advance and I knew he would be finding the people and events that would be the most horrible for me but also vetting the people to make sure I’d be safe and that my identity would be safe, for instance the people involved have no idea about this blog.

The week was amazing, I came away having enjoyed doing some disgusting things, in private and public places all with complete strangers. I am in the process of writing reports for the person who arranged it and he has agreed that I can post them here once he has read them. In the meantime, here is a little description of who I met each night and where:

  • Monday – A mid 30’s Dominant female and submissive male couple in woodland
  • Tuesday – An very overweight male in a hotel bar
  • Wednesday – A very fit an muscly black man in woodland
  • Thursday – A mature slightly overweight lady in a very run down hotel
  • Friday – A cross-dressing man in some parkland

I will be posting more updates in the next week or so and, although I am away for a couple of weeks after that, I hope to schedule these reports to be published while I am away.

I’m fully back online now so feel free to comment on this post or message me by whatever means you want to, I will do my best to reply.

Self torture result

enema2.jpg

Today I am exhausted and very sore, my stomach muscles are aching so badly that there is no comfortable position for me to be in, it’s like I’ve done about a thousand sit ups. I’m also incredibly freaked out by something that happened last night but I’ll come back to that.

When I got home from work I got a bit of food and then went out to the shed and cleared some space amongst the gardening stuff so that there was room for me and space to run rope to the restraint points that I put in there ages ago. Then I took some gardening gloves and walked to a nearby alley which usually has nettles in it, I collected some in a bag and took them back and laid them on the floor of the shed. I then ran an extension cable form the house into the shed for the TENS unit.

Back in the house I went a took a shower, then dried myself and my hair enjoying being able to roam around the house naked while my sister was out. I put on a little makeup so I looked presentable and then prepared the enema.

I had thought about using very cold water for the enema but decided that this was going to be bad enough anyway so went with lukewarm water filling the two litre enema bag all the way up with it then attached the tube and nozzle and hung it up ready.

The next part was quite difficult, I took a piece of red rope and tied a knot in the end, then placed the knot on the back of my head and started to plait my hair and the rope together finally tying it off tightly with a couple of hair ties. Once my hair was all done with a piece of rope dangling from it I opened two condoms and placed them over my locking plug before smearing some vaseline around the neck of the plug when my hole would close around it.

I had purchased some new pads for my TENS unit and I peeled off the coating and placed two at the top and two at the bottom of my abdomen so the shocks would shoot through my muscles causing them to tense each time.

Finally I strapped my leather cuffs around my ankles and wrists and put a few things I would need in a small bag then knelt on the floor and moved to all fours before gently easing the enema nozzle into my ass hole and removing the clamp from the tube.

I quite like the feeling at first, as the liquid begins to flow, its certainly an odd sensation but two litres is quite a lot. It took a few minutes for the majority of the liquid to go into me and then I squeezed the bag and the tube to make sure it was all inside before I removed the nozzle and quickly pushed the plug in ignoring the pain of my ass stretching around it.

lockingplugFor those that have never heard of this locking plug it looks like the pictures to the right, while it is smaller when closed it is still a significant plug and then once the end is pushed down and the “petals” open it feels very large indeed.

Using my thumb I pushed the plunger and felt the plug expand inside me, filling and stretching me painfully and then I fiddled with the padlock until it went through the hole in the plug and I was able to close it and turn the timer eight times, locking the plug and the enema inside myself until morning.

Standing up I looked at myself in the mirror and could see that the liquid had distended my belly quite noticeably although at that point it was only slightly uncomfortable. It occurs to me now that I should have measured myself before and after, maybe next time!

Now that I had everything in place I went downstairs with my bag and, wearing a dressing gown, went into the shed and closed the door. The nettles were already stinging my feet.

I removed the dressing gown and put it in the corner and then took the rope hanging from my hair, passed it through my legs and clit ring and then threaded it through one of the eyes in the ceiling letting it dangle to the floor, then I knelt in the position I would spend the night.

The nettles stung all down my shins and it was particularly painful on the top of my feet so I tried to get my legs in the position they needed to be, feet together and knees spread wide, and then not move them again.

Taking a carabiner from my bag I pulled the rope hanging from the ceiling eyelet and pulled it through until it was taught meaning it came up between my ass cheeks over the plug, between my pussy lips and over my clit, then I tied the carabiner to it about three feet from the ground. I took some more rope from my bag and tied a piece around each knee and then tied them tightly to eyelets on each wall of the shed so that I couldn’t close my legs even  a centimetre.

With my legs bound in position I took a ball gag from my bag, coated it in tabasco sauce and then inserted it and buckled it behind my head, the tabasco already starting to burn in my mouth and on my lips. I attached weighted clamps to both nipples and both of my pussy lips as well, the weights weren’t very heavy but were enough to cause a little pain immediately and a lot after eight hours.

In my shed there are four bricks, the type with three holes through them which I’ve chained together to use as a weight for self bondage, I’ve used it many times for various different things and it was going to be part of this scenario too. I lifted it up, which was a struggle, and managed to hook the chain on it through the carabiner and then slowly lower it as I sat back into position.

Once the bricks were hanging free from the rope they pulled my head back via the rope attached to my hair which also pulled tightly between my legs forcing the plug in deep and the rope to move between might pussy lips and agonisingly over my exposed clit. Now moving my head up would cause the rope to drag over my sensitive pussy and clit painfully.

I plugged the leads from the TENS unit into the pads on my stomach and then plugged it in and set it to pulse for ten minutes then stop for twenty and repeat. Finally I put on a blindfold and then used the other timer lock to fasten my ankles and wrists together and turned the dial six times.

All this preparation probably took longer to write about than actually do which only took about ten minutes and by that time the cramps from the enema had started and I felt like my body was ready to get rid of all this liquid inside me.

When the TENS kicked in for the first time it made things so much worse! I was sat there breathing through my nose, managing the pain and starting to think I need to move my neck when it sent a pulse through my stomach muscles causing them to tense and a massive cramping pain to start inside me. If you’ve ever used a TENS machine for toning your stomach etc you’ll know that its a very uncomfortable feeling and the small electric shocks mess with your muscles and there’s nothing you can do about it. Imagine that whilst you whole stomach area is bloated with water and already cramping all over the place.

Bizarrely once the TENS went on it’s break I actually felt kind of relaxed, kind of, I managed to get used to the stomach pains enough to manage them and the only problem was my neck would get sore being bent back and I’d have to move it and the rope rubbing on my clit really hurt so I had to move it really slowly. Then the TENS kicked back in and it was agony again and all I wanted do was to bend forward and curl up but I could hardly move at all, by now I was regretting the TENS unit addition.

The pains from the clamps on my nipples and pussy had become a dull ache by this point, when I keep clamps on for a long time it goes through stages, they hurt at first and then it calms down as I get used to it and then it goes through a stage that I hate where it kind of goes numb but in a painful way, I don’t know how else to describe it. Then it moves on to a dull ache which is painful but bearable.

crotch-ropeIt continued like that for a few hours except after each TENS session it took longer and was harder to get myself “stable” again because the cramps even without it were pretty bad by then plus my arms and legs were aching from being stuck in the same position and my clit was getting raw from the rope rubbing on it so much, every movement of my head was really painful between my legs. When the TENS activated all of that went away and all I could think about was the pain in my abdomen.

I started at about 10pm and I think it was a little after 1am when I heard something outside the shed and then quickly realised it was a someone. I immediately thought it must be my sister who’d come home rather than stay out and lots of things started shooting through my head about what I could say to explain but realistically my predicament would be somewhat difficult to justify to her.

The door opened and someone walked in and then….nothing, silence. I said my sisters name and then “who’s there” but neither was probably understandable through my gag. It occurred to me I must look a horrendous mess, drool running from the sides of my mouth, my nipples and pussy lips hanging lewdly from the weights, glistening wet pussy completely exposed.

I felt the persons breath on my face just before their lips made contact with my cheek which made me jump back and the rope to rag over my clit and pussy agonisingly. The person had kissed me on the cheek but not on the side like you would a friend, they kissed me just below my eye right on my cheek bone.

I jumped again as they touched my chest and then I realised they were writing on me with something, I didn’t know what to do so I just let them and they scrawled right across the top of my tits. When they stopped I tried to ask “who is it” again but all I got as a response was the sound of the door shutting.

Freaking out would be an understatement! I frantically tried to get out of my cuffs causing more nettle stings and pussy pain but there was no way to get free, I’d done too good a job on myself, I resigned myself to seeing out the timers before I could see what was written and hopefully find out who it was.

Over the next three hours all sorts of options went through my head in between the TENS sessions which brought all of my consciousness to the pain and I couldn’t concentrate on wondering who had seen me and what the potential consequences of it could be.

The last hour and a half was horrendous, the cramping was insane constantly even without the TENS and when it did start up it was almost unbearable and I was crying when the timer released the lock on my hands. I quickly untangled my wrists and gently moved my arms for the first time in eight hours, when my arms could move easier I ripped off the blindfold. Removing the clamps was seriously painful but the worst was when I lifted the bricks and took the pressure off the rope digging into my pussy and clit.

I could see the writing on me was a number but couldn’t read it properly, I peeled off the TENS pads and then got my dressing gown on and slowly went back to the house and up to my room grabbing my phone and taking a picture of the number written in dark red lipstick across my tits. That’s all it was, a mobile phone number, I checked in my phone and it isn’t a number I know either.

I looked at myself in the mirror as I undid my hair, my shins and feet were all red from nettle stings and my clit was red and swollen and a red groove ran through my pussy where the rope had been dug in. My nipples and pussy lips had deep marks where the clamps had pinched them so long and there, on my cheek was a dark red lip print which I also took a picture of.

Whilst I was stood in front of the mirror the lock on my plug clicked open and I spent the next forty five minutes expelling the enema into the toilet which was equally painful and satisfying!

I took a shower and then tried to get some sleep as I had to work a few hours later but struggled as I was equally curious and worried about who had come and seen me. Eventually I managed to get to sleep after gently massaging my swollen clit to orgasm.

I’ve considered deleting my entire online presence today in case it is some stalker who has found my real identity and have subtly asked everyone I can think of (except Kayleigh) and no one is admitting to it. Just now I tried calling the number but there was no answer, I’m at a loss, I hope I find out soon because it’s all I can think about and I’m away this whole weekend with my sister.

Self torture plan

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Last week I was feeling 1) brave, 2) horny and 3) masochistic and came up with an interesting predicament bondage situation for myself. It started off simple, give myself a large enema (enough to distend my stomach) and then insert my locking anal plug (wrapped in a condom and with Vaseline applied to create a seal) and lock it for the maximum my timer locks will do, which is eight hours.

Eight hours is a looooong time to hold any enema, never mind a large one (I was thinking a few litres) so by the end I would be in a lot of pain from severe cramping and whatever other discomfort it produces. So then I thought it would be interesting to be in bondage for the whole time as well, maybe somewhere uncomfortable like my garden shed overnight, I’ve done bondage in the shed before and have eyelets mounted around it for bondage.

Then, I mentioned I was feeling masochistic, I wondered what would happen if I attached pads from a tens unit on to my stomach and set it on a slow pulse so that every so often it would shock me and cause my stomach muscles to tense which I presume would force the enema to move around inside me.

One of the things that really turns me on is putting myself into some situation, some torture that I am unable to escape no matter how bad it gets. I know I will get out eventually (after eight hours in this case) but it could be truly unbearable until then, I want to get an hour in and regret starting it, I want it to be too much.

So as it happens I am still feeling quite masochistic and horny, my sister will be staying away on Thursday night and I am working from home on Friday, it almost feels like the Universe wants me to do it and I am thinking of putting the plan into action.

I have an idea of how I could be bound but am open to suggestions, I also thought it would be fun to see if anyone has any good suggestions for one further torment for me to endure whilst I hold the enema so feel free to let me know your thoughts in the comments over the next couple of days.

Blind date (part 2)

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My sincere apologies that I didn’t managed to finished writing about this before I went away, there were a few pre-holiday complications and I ended up spending most of the day on the phone rather than writing about this which would have been much more interesting!

My holiday was fabulous, a really fun and interesting trip and just the break I needed, I feel much calmer and happier for it. The following is a continuation of this post


This was definitely a first, I’ve never cum whilst being submerged in water before and it was amazing and scary all at once. At first the wave of pleasure rolled over me just as it always does, starting in my pussy and my head simultaneously and radiating through my body right to the tips of my fingers and toes as I moan. Only this time when I moaned my mouth filled with cold water and the warm pleasure of my orgasm mixed with panic as I began to thrash and try to get my head out of the water in vain.

He kept my head held firmly under the water though and all pleasure from my orgasm evaporated as my lungs began to burn and I realised I couldn’t stop myself from drowning. As I realised this there was a sharp pain in my head as he dragged me up out of the water by my pony tail and I gasped in air trying to refill my lungs. As I started to come round a little from my panic I noticed the tingling after glow from the previous pleasure and began to be reminded of the pain of the clamps on my nipples and from being held up only by my hair.

I barely had time to acknowledge these thoughts though before he plunged me back under the water. I didn’t have a burgeoning orgasm to distract me this time but I was oddly calmer. I think I realised he wasn’t going to drown me the second time and I just went with it, holding my breathe as long as I could and then letting it out slowly until my lungs were empty and I started to feel lightheaded again, then I started to panic again and despite resolving not to I thrashed to try and get my head above the water again.

People say that drowning is a very relaxing way to die and that you just drift off, that is not my impression after experiencing the early stages of it. There was no relaxing, once I felt like I was drowning my body just took over trying to save itself and the only thing that mattered was air, relaxed I was not!

There were two more faux drownings after that, leaving me in longer each time and giving me less time to recover between each submersion. By the time he lifted me out of the water and dumped me on the floor I was a wreck, shaking from the cold and the adrenaline gasping in air as fast as I could. Whilst I was still on the floor recovering he released my leg cuffs but reattached the padlock to my wrist cuffs, my legs fell to the floor aching but I was still concentrating on breathing when he pushed his cock deep into my pussy.

He was huge, I’ve been with plenty of guys with various sized cocks but I think this is the biggest I’ve every had. He knelt either side of my splayed legs and lifted my hips, then I briefly felt his tip rub over my clit before he parted my lips and plunged into me. The water helped but I think I was also pretty wet and he wasn’t gentle, his cock rammed up into me and I felt the uncomfortable sensation of him pushing into my cervix just before he pulled back and rammed into me again.

There was no messing around, he obviously enjoyed drowning me a lot because he was rock hard and really fucking me hard with no interest in waiting for me to join in. He didn’t last long, I must have felt really tight on him considering how big he felt to me and about a minute later he rammed into me and I felt his warm cum filling me just before he vacated my cunt and dropped my hips to the floor. He must have barely cum before pulling out of me because I felt his seed run down my pussy as he exited and felt it drip onto my ass and back as he stepped over me.

I lay there for a few minutes, happy for the time to recover a little composure but very horny as I had been close to orgasm when he finished leaving me empty and wanting. When he returned he pulled me up by my hair again but this time I was able to clamber to my feet with my legs freed, he grabbed the chain still attached to my nipple and pulled me along but I screamed as he ripped the clamps straight off my nipples and I felt the exquisite agony of the blood rushing back into them, almost immediately he was in front of me grabbing my nipples and digging his nails into them while I squirmed and gritted my teeth, all the while my pussy getting hotter and wetter.

Not being able to see is very disorienting, I had no idea where I was in the room and every time he moved me I thought I was about to crash into something. As he dragged me over to the bed I could feel his cum dripping out of me and then I fell over his foot and thought I was going face first into the floor but instead landed with my upper body on the bed and my knees on the floor.

I meant to mention at the start but forgot, the bed was an ancient metal framed thing which was once gold coloured but all of gold coating had worn away so it was now mostly grey metal. The mattress was far from comfortable and the sheets looked like they had been washed a few million times. The most positive thing to say about it was that the metal headboard had plenty of roping points.

He had apparently already tied a rope to the headboard because I felt it fall on my back as he threaded it through the padlock holding my wrists together, then he pulled it and my arms were pulled up away from my back and towards the head of the bed into a very awkward and painful position and then he tied off the rope. It was a very clever way to tie me, any movement caused a lot of pain in my arms and shoulders so he’d effectively immobilised me with one rope.

Now that I couldn’t move I jumped when I felt the metal scissors on my back but he was just butting the waistband of my thong so he could pull the ruined garment away, then he used them to wipe away the mess that was dripping from my pussy. There was a moment of nothing and then he told me to open my mouth and predictably the cummy underwear went in before he pushed my chin up and tape was securely sealed my lips. It was a few seconds before I tasted whatever he had smeared on the material, it was a horrendous taste and I tried to push the thong out with my tongue but the tape was strong and I couldn’t part my lips, I could hear him laughing as I moaned trying to get him to remove it before I was sick but he didn’t and I managed to hold it back.

I felt him kneel beside me just before I felt his hands on me, running up my thighs and spreading my legs, his fingers pushing into my pussy and then into my ass as well before withdrawing so he could run his hands up my back and under me to cup and massage my breasts. It’s weird considering he had just fucked me but this was by far the most invasive thing he had done to me so far, his hands probed every part of my body and it felt very personal and intimate in a way that made me feel very violated, then it got worse.

His hair tickled my inner thighs and then his nose gently brushed my lips before his tongue parted them and ran over my clit, dipped into my hole and then over my perineum to my asshole. He ran his tongue around my rear hole for a good couple of minutes before he began to work it into me.

I’ve always considered analingus (or rimming) to be a submissive act but he really managed to turn those tables. With the position I was in, being bound, blindfolded and exposed and with him being a complete stranger to me, the fact he had his tongue pushed deep into my most personal area felt very violating and degrading, it was like he was saying “I will do whatever I want with your body and there is nothing you can do about it”.

As he continued to tongue my ass he slid two fingers into my pussy and to my shame I was dripping wet, he easily slid a third finger in and began fucking my pussy with his hand, building me up again until I biting down on the foul tasting material in my mouth as I came with his tongue in my ass and hand stretching my cunt.

Whilst he was off doing something and I recovered from my orgasm I found I had to swallow an excess of saliva that was being generated in my gagged mouth, and that whatever was on the gag had given my spit the same vile taste as the thong and I struggled not to gag as I swallowed it.

I screamed more from surprise than pain as something hit my ass with serious force, the gag prevented much noise from escaping though even when the second blow landed and my brain started to catch on to the sensation coming from my ass. I think it was a cane based on the marks I had the next day, he was relentless with it whatever it was and rained down blows all over my ass which was raw and burning almost immediately. He kept on hitting me over and over again for a long time, no asking me to count, no requests of me, just a sustained beating of my ass that had tears soaking the inside of my eye patches. Amazingly I would find out the next day that the skin was never broken although my ass was a mess and sitting is still a little uncomfortable a week and half later.

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When he finally stopped I could hear him panting from the exertion, it must have been quite tiring swinging the cane for such a long period of time, I know it was exhausting to be on the other end of it. I think he sat down for a bit in the chair opposite the bed, it felt like he was staring at me and it made me feel exposed and vulnerable.

If that is what he was doing he obviously liked what he saw because a few minutes later his hard cock pushed between my ass cheeks and found my tight little hole. I think he must have lubed himself because he managed to get the head into me with relative ease and then he just put all his weight behind pushing the rest of himself inside me.

Like I said before he has a large cock and my ass is fairly tight but that didn’t stop his burying it in me until his balls rested against my pussy. I felt like my ass would rip, I’ve never felt so full in my ass before and it was equal parts amazing and agonising, if you’ve never had anything up your ass then it’s hard to describe but it is certainly a unique feeling to be so deeply and fully fucked in there.

He held himself fully inserted for a minute and then began to thrust, I thought he might be more gentle this time but that clearly wasn’t his thing, he began the same rhythm of hard deep thrusts that he had used on my pussy and I moaned into the gag whilst he truly did violate me ass until he came in me for the second time. Just like before he painfully pulled his cock out of me as soon as he came leaving me empty and wanting.

Once again I was left alone for a few minutes and then I felt him tying rope around my leg, just above my knee, then the same on the other leg and then my legs were pulled apart by the rope as he pulled them around the legs of the bed and tied them off. This caused me knees to be spread wider meaning making for a more uncomfortable position but also made me lower down which put more pressure on my arms. He then reach between my legs and I could feel a slight tugging on my large clit ring then it was pulled hard away from me which was so agonisingly painful I can’t describe it. I shouted into the gag and shook my head but he removed his arms and I realised he tied my clit ring to the bed with it pulled in a horrendous way.

I stopped screaming at him when I heard the door shut and then heard only silence.

I assumed he wouldn’t be gone long but after what I guessed was twenty minutes I wasn’t so sure, I found that if I slid my body a little downwards I could relieve some of the pull on my clit which was a lot more bearable. The problem was it put extra pressure on my arms and shoulders but it was worth it to relieve it on my poor little clit.

It seemed like he was gone for hours but in fact I think it was about one hour, the door opened and I turned my head even though I couldn’t actually look at him, I did hear what I thought was a carrier bag though.

His hands were on me again then, groping all over my body in the possessive way that he had done before, probing my wet used holes, he scooped some cum out of my ass with his finger and wiped it on the tape just below my nose so I was treated to the mixed scent of ass and cum then he came close to my ear.

He said “I’m tired now cunt. I’m going to get into this bed and sleep for a while and if you wake me up you will really regret it.” I nodded resigning myself to staying in this painful position for the next few hours and then I felt his hands on me again.

He placed a hand on each of my ass cheeks and I felt they were wet, he ran them all over my ass then down between my cheeks and pushed a finger into my rear hole. The burning started about that time, I’ve no idea what he put on my but it stung horrendously on my caned ass and ass he ran his hands over more places the burning spread to them. He continued from my asshole down between my pussy lips coating my pussy inside and out with the substance until both my pussy and ass were on fire. The last thing he did was to run a finger over my outstretched exposed clit.

I vaguely remember the bed moving as he climbed onto it and definitely heard him laughing as I writhed below his feet.My tearful eyes were wide open behind the patches as I tried not to scream into the gag, I didn’t want to keep him awake and incur a worse fate but it was incredibly difficult when my most sensitive parts burned so severely that I genuinely feared that damage was being done.

The next hour was horrendous, the burning was intense and the position painful and uncomfortable. Any attempt to change position just made it worse for one part of me or another and I ended up retreating to how I was before.

The burning eventually began to fade but the strains on my body continued for the rest of the night and by the time I heard him begin to stir my limbs were painfully numb (if that makes any sense at all) and I was covered in a layer of sweat. He made no effort to talk to me as he climbed out of bed and came round to me.

He undid my clit ring first, then each of my legs and then my arms, when he did those I basically just collapsed to the floor and listened to him chuckling. He ripped off the tape and I spat out the ruined thong and achingly moved my jaw around. It was hard to move my arms and pain shot through them as I forced them back to a normal position eventually getting my body into a foetal position where I stayed until he pulled me up by my pony tail.

My hair was pulled tightly as he led me into the bathroom and into the bath on my knees, I thought he would make me swallow his piss but instead he just let it go in my face and let his dark yellow morning pee run all over my head and hair.

When he was done he pulled out back out of the bath by my hair and walked me into the bedroom again, he padlocked my wrists behind me again and then walked me a bit further. He pinched my left nipple and then a very tight clamp was placed on and I bit my lip to avoid making a noise, then the same on my other nipple. The clamps were the metal teeth of an old wooden coat hanger with clamps to hang trousers from and he let it hang from my nipples twisting them harshly. Then he pulled me forward and then yanked it upward, making me catch my breath, and then obviously hung it from the rail.

I didn’t need to go on tip toes but at the same time I couldn’t stand flat without pulling on my already tightly crushed nipples so I sort of hovered in between whilst he went to the toilet and had a shower before messing around in the room packing his things.

Finally he came and unhooked the hanger and led me by a few steps before forcing me to my knees and pushing his cock into my mouth. I sucked him like a good slut despite the lack of the use of my hands, he filled my mouth and pushed into my throat sometimes but he didn’t cum in the last of my holes. Instead he pulled me over to the bad and laid on it pulling me by the hanger until I straddled him and then guided himself to my pussy before saying “do it slowly and enjoy it”.

I nodded and gently slid down onto him, his thick cock filling me deliciously as I pushed down until my clit ring lay on him. It was tough on my legs without the use of my arms but I slowly fucked him and to be honest it felt amazing, I kept it slow and steady for a good ten minutes until his hands on my hips told me to speed up and then he quickly came inside me again. I’d kept them quiet but I’d already come a couple of times from the fullness and grinding myself into him on the downward thrusts.

When he came he grabbed the hanged and yanked it, I think he intended to rip it off but the clamps were too tight and I ended up just falling on him. He left me there for a minutes and then rolled me off him and led me, again by the hanger, into the bathroom. He knelt me down on the floor and then used my pony tail to bend me over pushing my head down until I realised he was pushing my head into the toilet and the smell told me immediately it hadn’t been flushed.

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I heard him cough up phlegm and then spit and felt it go in my hair, then he closed the seat as best he could with my head in it and then I heard the sound of tape as he wrapped it around me and the seat. He unlocked the padlock on my cuffs and then the last thing I heard was the door to the room opening and closing.

Even with my arms free it took me about twenty minutes to get the tape off and free myself from the toilet. When I had I flushed it and then sat back on the floor and undid all four of my cuffs before eventually dragging myself off the floor and heading for the bed, I was so tired.

I climbed into bed but then had to jump out again, he’d scattered a load of drawing pins (thumbs tacks) under the covers and several were now stuck in my thigh, I brushed them off and brushed them out of the bed and climbed in. I peeled the patches off my eyes and blinked as even the low light seemed bright, then closed my eyes and went to sleep.

I woke up a couple of hours later when I rolled over and drawing pin stuck into my stomach. I got up, showered and tidied the room before I left and headed home.

 

Blind date

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First of all a small update on the Kayleigh situation, we met up on Tuesday night as I am away for a few days from Thursday. It was like a pleasant catch up for the first half hour then she suggested we get food so we got a table and ordered. Then she said “so you love me?” at which point I got a little flustered and struggled to keep eye contact with her like I had been doing before.

I managed to explain how I felt to her and she was really nice about it, she apologised for how she has made me feel and seemed genuine when she said she didn’t know I still felt that way when she was messing with me. She said that she is with someone but that she would like to be friends but only if I wanted that too and could accept that it wouldn’t be anything more, at least not at the moment. I said I’d think about it while I was away so that’s what I’ll do.

So Saturday, I was really nervous as I drove up to the hotel. I say hotel but it’s really an old pub with about ten rooms attached to it and it is really run down. The “reception” is the bar in the pub and they basically just take payment and give you a key, an actual key not a key card!

Once I’d got the key, along with HUGE wooden keyring that you could probably kill someone with, I headed to the room which was extremely chintzy (British version) and old fashioned, it had quite a musty smell as well but on the plus side it was extremely cheap!

I took the cameras and toys I had been told to bring out of the bag and put them on the bed along with my “outfit” and got undressed then stashed by bag safely in the wardrobe with my phone and clothes in it.

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I’d already had a shower and got myself ready at home with a bit of make-up and my hair tied back in a tight pony tail and was wearing a black thong, garter belt and some thigh high stockings that I had bought for the occasion. On the excellent advice of a friend I was went with lingerie over being naked but bought some cheap stuff rather than risking my expensive Victoria’s Secret stuff getting ruined by whoever was going to be joining me in the dingy room, it still looked good though even if I do say so myself.

Luke had provided two cameras which would record the whole thing for him, which is part of the deal I made with him for arranging all of these fantasy scenarios, the agreement is that he gets videos and pictures but purely for his personal use. I placed one camera on the bedside table facing the bed and then one at the other side of the room as I had been told to and started them both recording very conscious that I was now being filmed virtually naked.

I sat on the bed and strapped my black leather cuffs around my ankles and then wrists and then laid the toys out neatly on the desk including the key to a padlock, then as it was nearly time I knelt on the floor with my feet together and my knees apart and threaded the padlock through the rings on both ankle cuffs. To make sure I definitely wouldn’t see the person who was going to be playing with me I had purchased some adhesive eye patches so I peeled those off and, looking in the mirror, placed them over my eyes and over them put on the eye mask style velvet blindfold I had brought. Finally, with much more difficulty than I had anticipated, threaded the rings from the cuffs onto the padlock and clicked it shut. In the process I really hurt my shoulder so was in pain before it even started!

Due to the way I had bound myself I was forced to lean back on my arms resting my hands on my ankles and with my knees spread wide I’m sure I looked very much like I was presenting myself. I was already getting horny from the anticipation and my nipples were hard, standing out from my breasts that were already being pushed out by my position.

With my sight entirely removed I was very conscious of every sound and a few loud bangs made me jump and then giggle knowing it would look very silly on the video, I was very on edge! Eventually I heard the door open, close and then the key turn in the lock.

My heart was beating pretty fast as I waited, I could hear the person moving around me and I could feel their eyes on me in my extremely exposed position, then I felt the air move very close to my face, they were testing my blindfold which was absolutely effective and it made me feel very nervous, like I was going to get punched in the face and I wondered if I should have stipulated no punching, it’s really not my thing.

No punches came though and instead I heard them move behind me and then two hands cupped my breasts and I knew immediately that it was a man whose hands now squeezed my breasts and pinched my already erect nipples, hard, hard enough to eventually make me gasp and bite my lip.

He left one hand crushing my left nipple whilst the other travelled down between my spread legs to feel the already damp underwear covering my pussy, he ran his finger over my clit and then traced the outline of my clit ring a few times. His hand them left my pussy and return to my breasts a second later to attach a clamp to the nipple he had been pinching and then another to my right nipple.

They were the set of nipple and clit clover clamps that I’d left out but rather than putting the remaining clamp on it’s designated spot he pulled it from behind me and continued to pull it until I realised he was leading me somewhere. He didn’t say a word, just kept pulling on the chain whilst I awkwardly started to walk on my knees feeling like I looked utterly ridiculous.

It took ten minutes to reach our destination, he very patiently kept the chain taut and my nipples crushed as I made my way to where he wanted me, which as it turned out was the bathroom (I laddered my stockings on the door plate so I’m glad I didn’t wear my expensive stuff!). I knelt in the bathroom for a minute, just waiting, my pussy was warm and wet and my heart was beating fast, I yelped as he picked me up from behind with remarkable ease placing one hand round my chest and one between my legs and then he put me down on my front in the bath with my arms and legs bent behind me in so I was in a transitional hog-tie position although a very tight and uncomfortable one as my ankles and wrists were held very close together.

He hadn’t removed the clamps so my tits were crushed into them because I couldn’t hold myself up in any way. He tried a few times to pull and rip my thong but apparently Ann Summers used some strong lace because they were just pulled roughly between my lips and didn’t give. He disappeared for a moment then returned and I felt metal against my pussy and then the crotch of my thong disappeared (doubly glad I didn’t wear my expensive stuff!) and my ring fell to the floor of the bath sending a jolt through me. I heard the buzz of the vibe just before it touched my ring and sent amazing feelings through my pussy.

Whoever this person was Luke had obviously told them how to push my buttons, he placed the vibe through the ring and pushed it just a little into my pussy leaving the ring resting on top of it which had the effect of causing vibrations in the entrance to my hole as well as intense clitoral stimulation and it didn’t take long before I was close to orgasm, then he turned on the tap.

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The freezing cold water poured into the bath by my head, splashing my face and very quickly covering my nipples and working its way up to my pussy…and face. I’m not really a fan of breath play, it’s not something I’ve ever been interested in trying but at this point I didn’t have a choice. I lifted my head as the water rose to keep my mouth and nose out of it but at the same time he turned the vibrator up to a higher setting and despite the situation and the cold water it was having the inevitable effect on my body.

I don’t remember ever being in a situation quite like that before, where I’m panicking and on the verge of cumming at the same time. I was pushing my head back as far as I could when the water reached my lips and then I heard him speak for the first time, he said “deep breath” and I had just enough time to follow the order before his hand came down on the back of my head and forced me under the cold water whilst his other hand pressed the vibe directly against my clit which pushed me over the edge.

This was definitely a first, I’ve never cum whilst being submerged in water before and it was amazing and scary all at once.

This write up is continued here


I’m very sorry, I wanted to get this whole thing written before I went away but there was a snafu with my holiday money and I’m really stressed out and I just don’t have time to finish it so I’m going to leave it there and pick up where I left off in my next post next week, something to look forward to anyway!

Stranger danger

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Firstly, I changed the theme on here again, no real reason other than I get bored and fancy a change every now and again, hope you like it!

Months ago, I added a list of fantasies to this blog that I was hoping to make a reality with the help of my friend Luke and I actually knocked one off the list fairly swiftly just before Christmas, however it turns out six months has passed since then and I haven’t gotten any further!

This is much to the frustration of Luke who has put quite a lot of effort into trying to organise things only for me to be busy, out of the country or just generally unhelpful. I’m sorry Luke, life has been a challenge of late and I’ve been on a bit of a roller coaster emotionally through various different things that have happened. I think basically I have lost myself a bit.

I’ve been single since I broke up with Kayleigh which means I’ve been single for 1258 days which breaks down to nearly three and a half years, now that is depressing! You know how they say time heals all wounds, it’s not true. I’ve been in love before and I’ve had long term relationships before and in the scheme of things I wasn’t even with Kayleigh that long but I’m still not over her, not properly.

Partially this is probably due to the fact that she has never completely left my life, despite us not being together and despite the fact I know she has been in at least one relationship since me, she still pops back into my life every now and again to fuck with my head and put me back to square one. The last time was at the end of last year when she “popped round” to catch up, we were literally just having coffee together but she ended up removing my top tying my arms up behind me and making me eat her pussy. Once she came she left, with my arms still tied. I thought she was joking but after a couple of hours I realised she wasn’t coming back and I’d have to escape the rope myself, which took another couple of hours.

I was so horny and excited when she was tying me and I was eager to taste her again but then when I realised she wasn’t coming back I was absolutely devastated, I felt absolutely ridiculous sitting there waiting for her like a good little sub, kidding myself she still felt something for me.

Hannah says she is toxic for me and I should keep her out of my life forever but there is part of me that knows that if she comes calling again I’ll let her do the same thing to me again. She might be toxic but so are alcohol and drugs and people get addicted to those right?

So anyway, I’ve wildly digressed from what I intended this post to be about but suffice to say I’m still quite fucked up over Kayleigh because I think I’m still in love with her and the “concentrating on work” for the past three years has just been my way of trying to deal with it and waiting for her to realise that she still loves me too.

I’m so pathetic!

The actual point of this post is that I enjoyed my little play session with the homeless guy so much that it got me back interested in knocking some of these fantasies off the list. I contacted Luke and we got some things arranged and I’m quite excited.

Next Saturday night I am staying at a (very cheap) hotel about an hours drive from where I live. I will have instructions on what to do once I arrive but it will include me blindfolding myself and waiting to submit to an entire night of whatever the person Luke has arranged wants. I don’t have all the details yet but it is definitely happening on Saturday and it will definitely be someone I have never met before (and never will meet).

I go on holiday for a few days the following week and then at the beginning of July there is large a BDSM party being arranged by an acquaintance of Luke’s and as long as he can organise it I am going to fulfil my fantasy of being an ornament at that party. He hasn’t told me all the details of his plan but the main part of it is that I will be put inside a full body plaster cast for twenty four hours with complete audio and visual sensory deprivation. This sounds horrifically scary and extremely exciting both at the same time.

statueLuke’s description is that he wants me to be a living interactive BDSM statue. The idea of being restrained inside a plaster cast for that length of time seems scary enough, I imagine the muscle pain alone will be agony after a while of being in the same position for a long time but then there is that word “interactive”, which I can only assume means the guests will be able to torture me in some way whilst I’m trapped inside.

I know a few people are really interested in the auction fantasy, that was coming along nicely, arrangements were being made and then I screwed it up by being away for a few weeks and now I don’t know when we’ll be able to remake the arrangements. A few people suggested that there be multiple goes at this and that several people could pay to have me for a week at a time. There is a word for that, prostitution. Whilst I have nothing at all against prostitutes I am not one and Luke isn’t a pimp so that won’t be happening, sorry!

Thank you to those who commented on my previous posts, I really enjoy receiving comments and I always try to answer them, especially if they include questions. I’m really grateful to you for reading my blog and hope you enjoy it, if you do please share it with people who might also be interested on twitter or tumblr or whatever.

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