Christmas & New Year

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I always go home to my mum’s house for Christmas and the only difference this year is that I travelled with my sister, for those that aren’t aware my sister had some trouble in her life and ended up moving in with me earlier in the year so it made sense to go home together.

In previous years I’ve entertained myself by getting people online to set little tasks for me. For example one year I was told to wear a short skirt and to remove my underwear and masturbate with a bullet vibe until I came, all whilst still in my seat. Fortunately no one sat next to me and I was able to put a large coat over my legs so that I could discreetly remove my thong (still very difficult in a train seat!) and slide my hand and vibe up my skirt. It sounds easy but cumming without looking like you’re cumming is incredibly difficult!

Another year, in fact I think this was last year, I knelt on the piss soaked floor of the train toilet and thoroughly cleaned the toilet bowl (inside and outside) with my tongue whilst a butterfly vibe buzzed against my pussy. I think when people tell you to do that or read about it they don’t actually realise how much strength and self control a submissive has to have to force themselves to do that, to lick a strangers piss and pubic hair off a public toilet and swallow it.

Anyway, Christmas was really good and relaxing and I had a lovely time with my family. However during the time between my days in the room and Christmas I’d become really close with Miss Fiona, we’d spent a lot of our time together and things between us had really started to build up fast. So the time apart from her felt really strange and that’s when I started to realise how strong my feelings for her had become.

I really think it happened during the week in the room, no one has ever done anything like that for me before and the amount of love I felt from her at the end of it really affected me. We spoke for over two hours on the phone on Christmas day (much to the amusement of my mother and sister) and we arranged to have “our Christmas” on the 28th.

I bought her a few nice vanilla presents and a couple of less vanilla ones, she bought me a personal shopper experience in the Angel Suite at Victoria’s Secret in London with a very generous budget! It’s an amazing gift and the only caveat is that she has to come with me and will have final say on what I buy, I can live with that!

After the present giving she sat me down (on the sofa, I’m usually on the floor!) with a glass of wine and told me that she had been thinking about it a lot, especially over Christmas and that she wanted to officially collar me. I’ve had this conversation before (obviously) and it’s always a strange one because despite the dynamic you are already in this conversation has to be had on an equal footing.

negotiation

If you’re thinking about the contract negotiation scene from fifty shades (haha) then don’t, it wasn’t in any way like that! We discussed what we would expect from each other and sort of agreed terms, but not like a negotiation, more like two people talking about what they want from a relationship and making sure they both understand where they stand in it.

It was a really good conversation and I think it helped us both put our doubts and concerns about each other to rest. Once all that was out of the way Miss Fiona quite excitedly told me that she wanted to have a collaring ceremony! Nothing crazy just some of our friends coming round for a dinner party with my formal “Collaring” taking place during the evening.

This is something I’ve never really done, not so formally anyway. It sounded like fun though so the date was set for New Years Ever, in attendance would be Miss Hannah and her sub, Sir Davis and his sub Sophie (you don’t know about these two yet but you will when the relevant post goes out, Sophie is the girl I taught lesbian sex to!) and Miss Fiona and myself. Miss Fiona would host the event at her house and arrange everything.

I’m going to write about the events of that evening in my next “non-sex” post next week, I’m hoping by making these posts shorter but more frequent I can keep up the increased post rate that I promised!

Thank you to all the new people who have followed my blog recently, it really makes it worthwhile when I look at the stats and see that people are actually reading this stuff, and thank you for the comments as well, I love reading them and replying so keep them coming.

If you are on twitter I’ve started doing that a bit more, my username is @painslutlois, and if you like tumblr then I also have a blog on there where I mainly repost things that I like and sometimes post a picture of myself!

The Room

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Many many things happened with me in the last month, some good, some bad but they culminated in me having a really good and positive start to the new year.

Back at the beginning of December I was starting to feel quite unwell, I was having dizzy spells and had fainted a few times including once at work. Then one day my vision started to go blurry and Miss Fiona insisted that I went to see a doctor.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had these symptoms though, a few years ago I went through all of the same things and the cause was essentially stress. At the time I was having personal problems and was under a huge amount of pressure at work though and things weren’t particularly bad this time so I was a little worried if I’m honest.

Miss Fiona made an appointment for me and when I arrived at the doctors she was there waiting to go in with me. At this point our relationship hadn’t really gone that far and this felt a little pushy to me but looking back now it was the start of things getting really good between us. After Miss Fiona had ensured I’d disclosed every tiny detail of the past few weeks the doctor said that I had “Acute Fatigue with a level of Stress” and signed me off work for a week.

It wasn’t actually very convenient to be off work that week, in fact it was impossible so I spoke with one of the partners and agreed to take the following week off as leave rather than being signed off.

As it turned out Miss Fiona had some ideas about how to help me relax and recuperate during my week off, she refused to tell me what they were and instead asked me to submit to her 24/7 for the week. I would stay at her house from Sunday to Saturday and must follow the rules that she set for me.

I was a little dubious about this, as I mentioned we’d had a few dates and were getting on well but our relationship was progressing quite slowly by design and it was a big leap to go from that to something 24/7 especially when I didn’t really know what would be involved. That said I was really starting to harbor strong feelings for her so in the end I agreed to her terms.

On the Saturday Miss Fiona had arranged and paid for me to have colonic hydrotherapy (aka colonic irrigation) which is something I’ve never done. Weirdly considering I’ve had many enema’s I was nervous and more than a little embarrassed by this but the girls there were really nice and talked me through it all. It was an interesting and quite satisfying experience.

collarI arrived at her house at midday on the Sunday and as soon as I was in the door with my suitcase full of clothes and makeup etc she told me I wouldn’t be needing any clothes because I was going to be naked for the entire week apart from the leather collar that she then produced. It had two chains running from a D-ring in the front, each of which had a matching leather cuff on the end.  Whilst still stood just inside the (thankfully closed) front door she had me strip and then turn and kneel so she could fasten the collar around my neck and lock it, then I stood again so she could fasten and lock the cuffs to my wrists.

She held my wrists and pulled my arms straight, only I couldn’t straighten them properly because of the chain and I realised the chains were just long enough to prevent me reaching my pussy. She saw the realisation hit me and grinning before turning and saying “Come”.

She led me upstairs and into her spare bedroom, past the double bed which was covered in a pile of clothes, and into her walk in wardrobe which was empty. It is basically a small room with a solid wooden door and a small window that overlooks her spacious garden. It has rails along both sides of it but all the clothes had been removed and the only thing in the room was a cat’s litter tray, a small inflatable bed and a bottle of water and a glass. After she had explained everything to me whilst I knelt on the floor she closed the door.

These were the my rules for the week:

  • I was not to leave the room without Miss Fiona (the door wasn’t locked)
  • I was not allowed to pleasure myself in any way (the chains were there to help)
  • I had to finished the 2l bottle of water every day (it was replaced each morning)
  • I had to eat whatever food was left for me
  • The litter tray was for me to pee in
  • I would be allowed 30 minutes bathroom time each day
  • We would eat an evening meal together but we could not talk about the arrangements or rules until the following Saturday unless it was urgent

That first day I was really regretting agreeing to the arrangement, within minutes I was bored and after a couple of hours I was getting sorely tempted to open the door. I’d find out later that Miss Fiona had been sat on the other side of the door the whole time waiting to see how I would react.

After a while, I’d lost track of how long, the door opened and she led me downstairs and into the kitchen where she had prepared us a meal. The food was very healthy and I later found out that my diet for the week had been carefully selected with advice from the clinic where I got the colonic. We talked about various things, she makes me laugh a lot which I like and whilst our dynamic is always present she doesn’t make me feel in any way inferior to her, it’s hard to describe but in my opinion it is the perfect way to be dominant.As soon as we’d finished she asked if I needed the bathroom, I didn’t so she lead me back to the room and the door was closed again.

She has smart lights in her house and the closet light is on a motion sensor so that it turns on when you walk in, however I’d find that it was also on a timer so at 9:30 it stopped turning on and there was only the dim ambient light from the window to see by, not that there was anything to see. The bed was surprisingly comfy once I found a position where the chains weren’t under me and I fell asleep shortly after the lights went off which is very early for me.

I only woke up when the door opened the next morning, it was the best sleep I’d had for months. The collar and chains stayed on whilst I used the toilet and had a shower, I dried myself and brushed my hair (I wasn’t allowed to dry it) whilst Miss Fiona showered and then she had me blow dry and brush her hair for her. It was nice to do such a simple task and not have to worry about getting ready for work or what I had to do once I got there, it felt very relaxed.

Once I’d done her hair she put me back in my room and then about half an hour later she opened it again, dressed fully in her work clothes and left a fresh bottle of water, various pieces of fruit and a cling film covered bowl of couscous salad before giving me a kiss and closing the door again.

I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before but I have a routine, I wake up in the morning about twenty minutes before I need to be up and my hand slides between my legs and I think about whatever naughty things that get me wet that particular day and I bring myself to a silent satisfying climax before I get up and shower ready to start the day. Then in the evening when I slide into bed I curl up on my side and the same hand slides between my legs to finish my day off the way I like to. This has been my routine for literally years and strange as it may seem, not masturbating is just not natural for me.

Miss Fiona knows all about this, hence the chains and cuffs. Yes she had ordered me not to touch myself but she also knows me well enough to know I’d find that extremely difficult, especially when there is literally nothing else to occupy my mind.

So I laid on the bed in my empty little room and started to fantasize about all sorts of perverted things that I can’t remember now, my hands rubbed across my nipples and then instinctively went for my pussy until the chains stopped them. The other thing that I’m sure I’ve mentioned before is that I need clitoral stimulation to cum, it’s pretty much impossible to get me over the edge in any other way and by this point I was extremely horny and getting increasingly frustrated so I decided to think about something else, it was either that or risk my sanity!

I was drinking a lot more than I usually do because it was one of my rules and also because it was something to do. The problem is that drinking a lot has one inevitable consequence and I couldn’t hold it off any longer. I moved the tray so that I could put a foot either side and then squatted over it and let go. For some reason it made me blush despite the fact that no one was in the room with me, it made me feel a little inhuman. Fortunately she’d left a roll of paper so I wiped and then went back to looking out of the window.

windowThat was pretty much how it went for the first half of the week….get up and use the toilet before having a shower and brushing my hair. Brush and dry Miss Fiona’s hair and then back to my room. Spend the next nine hours mindlessly looking out of the window, day dreaming and having absolutely zero stress. Do some exercise by running on the spot or doing sits up and press ups. Be let out of my room to change my tray and enjoy a healthy meal and some conversation with Miss Fiona and then back to my room for the night and more tie with myself.

There were a few changes starting on Wednesday when she let me come and sit on the floor next to her for half an hour while she watch TV. She laid my head on her knee and gently stroked my hair whilst she watched, occasionally she would dip her finger in her glass of wine and put it to my lips and I would suck it off her finger tip, it tasted divine.

On the Thursday when she left my food and drink for the day she also left a children’s colouring book, a “Frozen” one, and some colouring pencils. It sounds ridiculous but I was so excited by this at the time because it was something for me to do and put my mind to, even if it was a very simple task. I spent most of the day very neatly colouring in pictures of the Elsa and Anna, it was very therapeutic.

On Friday morning Miss Fiona unlocked my cuffs and removed them, disconnecting the chains from my collar which remained in place. She didn’t say anything about it, just removed them and left for work leaving me with a teenagers jewellery making kit. I spent the day making a bracelet for my sister and a really intricate necklace for Miss Fiona and didn’t touch myself once, not because I didn’t want to though. For some reason I was so nervous presenting the necklace to her at dinner but she seemed to really love it and bizarrely that made me so happy that I cried! I cried for about half an hour with no idea why and she held me tight the whole time without asking me any questions or trying to make me talk about it, then she put me back in my room and I fell sound asleep.

In the morning she didn’t let me out, I woke up and there was a one litre bottle of water with a hint of lemon and some fruit already in the room. I ate and drank, enjoying the flavoured water immensely and waited really quite patiently. Eventually the door opened and a naked Miss Fiona lead me to the bathroom where she’d run a very deep bubble bath which she climbed into and then helped me in with her and I laid there against her soaking until we were all wrinkled.

We dried each other afterwards and then climbed into her bed and made slow, sensual, sweet vanilla love to each other for hours.

On the face of it this was just a boring week stuck in a room with nothing to do, I guess a form of torture. That’s how I saw it at the start but as the time passed I literally felt tension seeping out of my body and I just completely relaxed for the first time in a very long time and it made me feel amazing. The detox was also really good and made me feel good, my skin is much better and I feel like I have more energy, I’ve even bought some (adult) colouring books as I find it really helps me to relax a lot.

I have a lot more to tell you all about and I will be writing about them over the coming weeks, I’ve been officially collared by Miss Fiona now and had a sort of formal collaring with a few people there.

I did some thinking about this blog while I was in the room and from today I want to do two posts a week. One like this one which is about my life and what’s going on in it and the other about my BDSM experiences. The initial BDSM posts will be ones that I’ve been promising for ages and then as I do new things I will post about those as well. I can’t promise they will all be long but I do promise to make the effort to post.

I got burned

Not in as in I was insulted, as in I literally got a burn on my arm from an air bag going off after someone drove into the front of my car the weekend before last. As you can see below, this is not the kind of injury my masochistic side enjoys.

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This was at the end of a weekend that started out with significant promise but gradually deteriorated until it was in the same state as my car ended up, written off!

Lets go back to the start of the weekend, Friday night when, after showering, I spent an hour edging myself to make my pussy nice and wet prior to a date with Fiona just as she had told me to do.

I laid on my bed naked and pinched my nipples with one hand whilst rubbing the fingers of my other hand over my clit fantasising various different fantasies. Each time I felt my orgasm coming close I stopped and waited until it receded and then began again until my pussy was literally leaking onto the towel I had placed beneath me.

I kept going until I had just enough time to get ready, then I got dressed in a little black dress with bra but no underwear and did my hair and makeup before going downstairs and standing in the window to wait for her. She had text me to say she was setting off and that when she arrived she wanted to see me in the window with my hand up my dress on the verge of an orgasm.

I watched the taxi pull up as I stood in the window, the lights dimmed so I wasn’t too visible but just visible enough for her to see, with my dress pulled up at the front to reveal my slightly spread legs and my fingers circling my clit. When I was sure she had seen me I straightened my dress and headed out to the car.

As I climbed into the taxi I subtly pulled the back of my dress up so that when I sat down my bare ass went directly onto the seat rather than resting on my clothing, just as I had been told to. It felt dirty, putting my most intimate parts against that seat that had been sat on by a large number of strangers, it was a turn on. Fiona leaned over and kissed me deeply and passionately for a good ten seconds before sitting back down and saying “hi”. I glanced at the drivers mirror and saw him watching and blushed as he looked away and set off towards our destination.

I raised my eyebrows and said “hi to you too”, we’ve agreed not to use any titles or anything in a public setting. As we drove she placed her hand on my knee and then slowly moved it up my inner thigh, it was so unsubtle that it made me smirk until she got about two inches from my pussy and discovered how disgustingly wet I was and said “good girl” and I blushed and noticed the driver take another look at us in his mirror.

My hands were on the seat either side of me for the whole journey, submissive, inviting, just the way I was feeling. Her hand remained at the top of my thigh with her little finger just touching my bare pussy lips and slowly moving backwards and forwards stroking me. I was very conscious that her hand had pushed my dress up so that I was now essentially naked from the waist down but I was fairly sure the driver couldn’t see and no one outside would be able to.

When we arrived Fiona paid the driver and we got out, I pulled my dress down as I climbed out but if the driver had been looking he would have got a great view of my naked ass and I’ve no idea if he was looking or not. I do know that I left a wet patch on his seat which is disgusting but really was Fiona’s fault!

Our destination was a restaurant and we had a nice meal there, she asked me what I wanted and then ordered for both of us in quite a patronising way. She said “I’ll have the goat’s cheese to start and then the bream, she’ll have the calamari and the ravioli”, I wasn’t expecting it and when the girl looked at me as she wrote down my order all I could do was look back and sheepishly smile at her.

We talked about all sorts of normal things and then our starters came and we ate those, then as soon as the plates were cleared she said “I want you to cum for me before the mains come”. It took me by surprise and I just kind of looked at her incredulously and said “what, here?”. Her response was to just smile and nod and then she said “and if you fail you’ll earn something much worse”.

The table we were at was against a wall and it was a table for four with only two of us at it so it provided more cover than it could have, but I was still sat in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Despite that I was extremely horny and excited by what she wanted me to do so I slid my left hand (which was nearest the wall) between my legs and up my dress and began to rub on my already swollen clit.

I’m sure this is true for everyone, male and female, it’s hard to keep a normal face whilst masturbating. At the very least your mouth drops open and your eyes either lose focus or intently focus on one spot so to combat this I stared into Fiona’s eyes and bit my bottom lip, biting a little harder and narrowing my eyes each time the sensations forced me to react.

She watched me intently as I sat across from her masturbating in a restaurant and after a minute she said “don’t stop no matter what” and then seconds later a waiter appeared with our next round of drinks.

I didn’t stop, I definitely didn’t stop but I slowed my fingers enough that I could regain some composure and acknowledge that he was there and say thank you. It was my downfall, because my impending orgasm receded enough that despite my renewed efforts once he’d gone I was still trying to tease myself over the edge when Fiona said “stop” and then moments later our main courses arrived.

It was so frustrating, I hate edging, I hate the feeling of the ecstasy of an orgasm that was so close fading away into oblivion but I had no choice. I removed my fingers, straightened my dress again and picked up my fork. Fiona looked at me and tutted, then carried on as if nothing had happened.

We finished our food and drinks and Fiona asked for bill which she paid. Then she handed me the little wallet that the bill came in and gave me my punishment before walking out of the restaurant and calling a taxi.

I put a generous tip into the wallet and then wrote my name and phone number on a paper napkin that had come with my coffee, underneath my phone number I wrote “Call me x”. I took a deep breath and then with crimson cheeks I intercepted the waitress and handed her the wallet with the napkin on top of it.

The girl, who must have been at least six years younger than me, looked down at the wallet and napkin, then turned the napkin around and read it whilst I stood there like an idiot. As she read it her eyes widened and then she looked up blushing and said “oh, erm, thanks” and then quickly walked away into the kitchen.

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me as I almost ran outside to meet Fiona who’d been watching through the window and was now looking very amused. I said she was mean and she told me that maybe I’d do as I was told next time. As I climbed into the taxi I looked back through the window and saw the waitress looking at me, we both looked away when we made eye contact and then the taxi drove away.

We had previously agreed that I was going to stay at her house, a big step baring in mind how it ended last time I stayed over but with everything out in the open I was past thinking about that. I paid the taxi and followed her up to and through her front door, then she was on me.

She pinned me to the wall with her body kissing me and her hand was between my legs and I was grabbing her ass and it was just passionate vanilla horniness for a couple of minutes, then she pulled my dress over my head. When I tried to do the same for her she stepped back and wagged a finger at me smiling and said “wait there”.

She returned a minute later with handcuffs. She removed my bra and threw it on top of my dress then gently moved my hands behind my back and attached the cuffs to them, I put up absolutely no resistance, there is this feeling when you submit to another person, allow them to control you in a very physical way, that I just love. It takes me to a psychological place that I would just love to live in 24/7.

She held the cuffs with one hand and my hair with the other as she led me upstairs to her bedroom wearing only my heels. When we arrived she sat down on the bed with her legs spread and then pulled me down so I was sort of squatting with my pussy resting on her thigh, then she lent back on her arms and said “cum!”.

It was hot, she pushed with her toes to apply upwards pressure as I ground my pussy into her thigh until I found a good position just above her knee where the pressure on my clit was just right and then I let out a loud uninhibited moan as I came hard against her leg and my legs went wobbly and I collapsed forward into her arms.

She gave me a minute and then she pushed me down off her and onto the floor so that I could see the amount of wetness I’d left on her leg, so much that it had run around her thigh and down the sides of her calf. She told me to clean it, and I did.

I licked every part of her leg that had my mess on it, up her calves, over her knee and thigh, then I continued. A little brazenly for a submissive I licked up her inner thigh until I came to her pussy, which I discovered was as naked as mine had been all night, and then I began running my tongue up her slit and around her clit.

She enjoyed my attentions for about twenty minutes and then I moved it up a gear and with a handful of my hair in her fist she came on my mouth. Then, without hardly ten seconds to recover she yanked my head back and put her face right up close to mine and said “who the fuck said you could do that?”.

I have to admit I was a little shocked by the change of pace and to the reaction to me giving her pleasure. She stood up pulling me with her by my hair and undid my cuffs before saying “bent the fuck over Lois”. I did as I was told as she pulled open a large drawer under the bed, produced a long cane from it and held it to my mouth, I dutifully took the cane with my lips and held it tight.

She moved behind me whilst saying “If we are going to do this you need to relearn discipline, I won’t stand for you trying to take control or topping from the bottom. So you’ve earned yourself ten hard strokes from the cane. What do you have to say?”.

I stood there, legs straight, bent at the waist with my arms straight on the bed and my back slightly arched so my ass was pushed out with her juices drying on my face and tried to speak with the cane in my mouth but she slapped my ass hard and then grabbed the cane which I let go of. Then I said “Yes Miss, I’m sorry.”.

She slapped my other ass cheek and said “Sorry for what?” and then continued to slap each cheek in turn as I said “I’m sorry for trying to take control Miss”. The slaps weren’t too bad but hard enough that I could feel my ass starting to burn by the time she stopped, then she said “Count”.

It’s quite a while since I’ve been caned, properly caned and even when you’re used to it the sharp sudden pain of it is still significant and she didn’t hold back. I heard the cane cut through the air and then her first strike landed right in the middle of my ass and almost knocked me out of position but I maintained it as I sucked in air and took the pain.

The next strike hit about an inch below the first, the one that followed was an inch above the first and then one an inch below the second and finally one right at the top. She is clearly well practised with the cane, each one hit with the same force and I would find out later were perfectly on target.

I’m a sexual masochist, I enjoy pain. I’m turned on by people inflicting pain on me but that doesn’t mean other natural reactions to pain don’t apply to me as well. The swats were hard, my ass was burning and I had tears in my eyes by the time she finished the fifth one. We have discussed safe words already, I knew what to say to stop her but I wasn’t about to, my pussy welling up just as much as my eyes.

The next five felt as though the landed in exactly the same spots as the first five but afterwards, when she was cuddling me on the bed and she let me run my hands over my ass I discovered the first five had been done at an angle and the latter five the opposite angle so that the now raised red welts formed a pretty crisscross pattern across the pale skin of my ass.

I fell asleep in her arms but when I woke up in the middle of the night my arms were handcuffed behind my back again and a little achy, I can’t believe she managed to handcuff me without waking me. I just snuggled back up to her warm body and went back to sleep.

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So that was all good, it was an amazing date and I left Fiona’s the next day feeling very happy. I chilled at home for a while laying on my bed (on my front because it was too sore to sit on my ass) and then I got undressed and went to take a shower, this is when things took an unexpected turn.

I was in the shower washing my hair, back to the door and my sister walks straight in, no knock, no warning, just walks straight in. I have no problem with my sister seeing me naked, it wouldn’t be the first time and I didn’t immediately think much of it until I heard her shout “WHAT THE FUCK?!” and I instinctively spun round and put my hands on my ass cheeks.

I finished my hair and got dry enough to put on a dressing gown (robe if you’re American?), I checked out my ass so I would know exactly what she’d seen, it was bad, the welts from the caning were bright red and covered my ass, I couldn’t think of a single plausible excuse for them.

When I went into my room she was sat on my bed waiting for me, for some reason I thought she would be angry but she wasn’t, she was concerned. She came over and hugged me and said “what the fuck happened to you? are you ok?” and I couldn’t help but giggle, which didn’t go down well!

There was no way to lie my way out of it and I really didn’t want to, it gets tiring hiding your real self from everyone and despite her very vanillaness she is my sister and if anyone will accept me for who I am she would. So I told her everything.

Well, not everything! I told her about BDSM (“What, bondage and stuff? Like Fifty Shades?”) and that I was submissive and a masochist and that the welts were from me getting caned. I left out why I got caned and I didn’t tell her about any of the more extreme or bizarre things I’ve done, I figured it was enough of a shock already. I did have to admit that Fiona, who she knew I’d been out with last night, was a Dominant and was responsible for the state of my ass.

The conversation was long and drawn out and went round in circles but I didn’t blame her and I answered everything honestly, it felt good to be completely honest with her even though she seemed horrified at times and angry at others. Eventually wine was involved which helped my ass feel a bit better after I’d been sat on it for hours pretending it wasn’t really sore!

Then the next day the crash happened and she was there ten minutes after it happened and was my big sister again and helped me and looked after me and no more was said about my illicit lifestyle for a good few days.

We’ve discussed it again since, she’s had more questions and she’s promised to keep it to herself but she seems to be coming to terms with it. We’ll see what happens I guess!

If you got this far please leave a comment, I really love reading and responding to them no matter what they are. Questions, suggestion, lewd insults! I just love conversing with the people who actually read what I write x

My viginity

virginity

I’ve been asked so many times how I lost my virginity that I thought I might as well just post the story here.

I was sixteen at the time, some people think that is quite young, others quite old, I guess it depends on your perspective but for me it wasn’t a decision, it was just when it happened.

I was single and at a house party after finishing high school, in the UK high school only lasts until you are 16 and then you have the option of going on to further education at sixth form (aka college) before going on to University. Pretty much everyone from my school year were at the party as well as some older people I didn’t recognise from other schools and after a few drinks (tequila I think) I got talking to one of the older guys.

He seemed nice and after a while, both drunk, we ended up in one of the bedrooms, he locked the door to give us some privacy and then we were kissed and both our hands started to wander as we lay back on the bed.

I didn’t think much of it when he pulled my hands above my head and gripped both my wrists in one of his hands, his other was pushing under my bra roughly fondling my breasts and then under my short skirt rubbing my pussy through my underwear.

It felt good and I wasn’t worried until I tried to free my hands so I could touch him too, he gripped my wrists tighter and shifted his body weight so I was pinned down, he was much bigger than me and I couldn’t move or get away. He pulled my knickers to the side exposing my pussy and rubbing his fingers up and down between my lips.

Looking down I could see he had he jeans pulled down and his cock was out, fully erect and he was moving himself between my spread legs. My underwear was pushed to the side from when he’d been fingering me so he didn’t have any trouble pushing the head of his cock against my opening with one hand still holding my hands and the other squeezing my tits.

I remember being surprised at how easily he pushed his cock into me but it was also really painful and my eyes welled up as I felt my hymen tear and then the fullness inside me before he began to roughly thrust.

He didn’t last long, I was tight and probably felt pretty good to him as he rammed into me over and over until I felt him twitch and heard him grunt as he came inside me. He let go of me then, kneeling up and zipping his jeans back up while I just lay there on the bed with my pushed up so my breasts and pussy were on display. He kissed me and then said he was going to get us a drink and left the room.

I lay there for five minutes before I realised he wasn’t coming back, my pussy was really sore and I venture down there with my fingers to check if there was any damage. It was a swamp of his cum, my juice and blood and without thinking I started to rub my clit using the mess for lube. My other hand moved to my tit and started to pinch and twist my nipple as I brought my self quickly to climax.

Once I’d straightened myself out I walked back downstairs, my pussy felt swollen and sore between my legs and I could feel the mess leaking into my knickers, the guy and all his friends had left the party and I never found out who he was, I didn’t tell anyone about what happened but I think that was the start of making me who I am today.

Of course all that is nonsense! The story of how I lost my virginity isn’t anywhere near as interesting as that, I was at a party after leaving school and had a drunken fumble with a guy from one of my classes, he was just as inexperienced as me but at least he got to cum in the ten minutes it lasted, like most girls for me it was very disappointing but that wouldn’t have made a great post!

I actually don’t believe those events or anything else had any impact on my sexual preferences or my submissive nature and it really frustrates me that popular media feels the need to portray people who are into BDSM as somehow broken or only into it due to some kind of trauma in their life.

Digital detox

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I really don’t know why anyone follows this blog! I’m terribly inconsistent with writing posts and while I’ve apologised more times then I can count for it I’ve never got any better at posting regularly!

My excuse this time is that I needed a bit of a break from my online presence. I don’t want to imply that I’m more than what I am, I’m not any sort of online celebrity like has been suggested by some and despite appearances I’m not a particularly big attention seeker, although I am a little bit 🙂

I have Twitter, Tumblr, Collar Space, this blog, email and it was all getting a bit much to keep up with so I took a break.

It my own choice, not because I was ordered to by any new Mistress that some have speculated I have either! Yes I am still seeing Fiona and yes it is going well but no she didn’t order me to stop speaking to people online or anything like that. In fact she is happy for us to have an open relationship at the moment as she already has “other commitments” as well.

Whilst I haven’t been online in my usual ways recently I have been having some fun, at least one eagle eyed reader saw a post I made on a website relating to something I did a couple of weeks ago which fulfilled a couple of things from my fantasies list.

This is something I’ve thought about doing for a long time but haven’t got round to arranging until recently, or rather having someone else arrange. The premise was this; I would post an advert on a dogging website inviting people to “apply” to use me for whatever they wanted for one night (or actually a few hours) and five successful applicants would get to do what they wanted on five consecutive nights. The applications would go to a third party (who will remain anonymous) and they would organise all the details, all I’d know is where to be and when each night.

Here is the advert, which was written by me but edited and approved by the person who organised it:

I am a female submissive masochist in her early thirties and based in Cambridgeshire who craves cruel humiliation, degradation and rough use by strangers. I have brown hair, am 5′ 9″ with a slim build.To fulfil these needs a Dominant has instructed me to post this advert.

I am looking for singles or couples of any gender/colour/age/weight/etc who would enjoy playing with me one night next week (5th – 9th September 2016) with no strings attached. The Dominant will choose from those who reply to this advert (assuming anyone does!) and I will play with one each night next week.

This is a genuine offer and I am very excited about it.

If this interests you, please reply to this advert before midnight on Thursday and include the following:

  • A little detail about yourself
  • A picture of yourself
  • Broadly what you would like to do with me
  • Where you would like to meet
  • Your email address (important!)

I will forward all replies (without reading them) to the Dominant who will choose the five for me to play with and contact (hence needing your email address) them directly to arrange the details, I will not be involved in the selection process and will be submissive to you when I arrive at the designated meeting place (hotel/woodland/public bathrooms).

Again, this is a genuine offer so only genuine and sensible replies with all the information requested please.

The website that I posted this on has a mailbox and mine was pretty much full for the next few days which ended up equating to twenty “applications” being made, all describing what they wanted to do with me.

I’d obviously discussed this with the person who organised the evenings in advance and I knew he would be finding the people and events that would be the most horrible for me but also vetting the people to make sure I’d be safe and that my identity would be safe, for instance the people involved have no idea about this blog.

The week was amazing, I came away having enjoyed doing some disgusting things, in private and public places all with complete strangers. I am in the process of writing reports for the person who arranged it and he has agreed that I can post them here once he has read them. In the meantime, here is a little description of who I met each night and where:

  • Monday – A mid 30’s Dominant female and submissive male couple in woodland
  • Tuesday – An very overweight male in a hotel bar
  • Wednesday – A very fit an muscly black man in woodland
  • Thursday – A mature slightly overweight lady in a very run down hotel
  • Friday – A cross-dressing man in some parkland

I will be posting more updates in the next week or so and, although I am away for a couple of weeks after that, I hope to schedule these reports to be published while I am away.

I’m fully back online now so feel free to comment on this post or message me by whatever means you want to, I will do my best to reply.

An email

The following is an email I received in response to a query I made of an acquaintance of Fiona’s:


Lois (and Fiona),

The insertion of an NG Tube carries many potential problems, the insertion of multiple NG tubes will carry additional complications and I would strongly advise against anyone but a very experienced medical professional carrying out such a procedure, especially with the larger variant of tube.

The main risk I see is damage to the pharynx or oesophagus especially during the insertion of the second tube but as I mentioned, a medical professional will be able to mitigate that risk. Once the tube(s) are inserted the main issue, baring in mind your stated objective, is vomiting. Vomiting with an NG tube inserted could cause serious complications and the tube(s) should be removed immediately if it occurs, you should be monitored throughout your proposed scene for this reason.

To reduce the chance of vomiting I would advise building a tolerance to the urine, especially stronger urine, by drinking your own daily and gradually increasing the volume as you approach the day of the scene, it may also be beneficial to take some over the counter anti sickness tablets directly before the scene. During the scene it may be a good idea to wear a loosely fitting posture collar as it will help keep your neck straight, which is important.

Good luck.

Regards
Dr xxxxx xxxxxxxx

NG Tubes

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A nasogastric tube is a narrow bore tube passed into the stomach via the nose. It is used for short or medium term nutritional support toilet duty.

The use of a nasogastric tube is suitable for enteral feeding for up to six weeks human toilets for up to eight hours. Polyurethane or silicone feeding tubes are unaffected by gastric acid and can therefore remain in the stomach for a longer period than PVC tubes, which can only be used for up to two weeks.

Hotel room

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My recent posts related to a fantasy of mine which was recently made a reality. It was an amazing experience and I loved writing about it and have enjoyed the comments about it. The person that my friend arranged did an excellent job of using, abusing and humiliating me and also keeping me guessing as to what was going to happen to me next, I was horny the entire time and was exhausted afterwards.

It was suggested to me that it might be interesting to hear what readers of this blog might have done with me if they had me in the same situation and I did think it would be a good way to interact with my readers. I’m quite certain there aren’t that many of you these days but hopefully since I’ve started writing again it will pick up a little, feel free to share the link of your twitter, tumblr, collarspace, fetlife, facebook or whatever (shameless self promotion).

Anyway, so this post is a call for people to share their ideas (in the comments) for what they would do to me if they had me tied up, blindfolded and submissive in a hotel room for a night and knew that I’d never know who they were.

As an incentive for people to make the effort, I will email the author of the most creatively sadistic one that makes my pussy drip more than the others and they can set me a task to perform and once I’ve followed their commands I’ll write about it on the blog in as much detail as I have written about this. So if you take up the challenge be sure to put your email address in when commenting.

So that’s it for now, I am thinking about posting something about my real life so if you’re interested in hearing about that feel free to comment about that too.

Oh, and at least a few of you post a comment or this is going to be really embarrassing!

Blind date (part 2)

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My sincere apologies that I didn’t managed to finished writing about this before I went away, there were a few pre-holiday complications and I ended up spending most of the day on the phone rather than writing about this which would have been much more interesting!

My holiday was fabulous, a really fun and interesting trip and just the break I needed, I feel much calmer and happier for it. The following is a continuation of this post


This was definitely a first, I’ve never cum whilst being submerged in water before and it was amazing and scary all at once. At first the wave of pleasure rolled over me just as it always does, starting in my pussy and my head simultaneously and radiating through my body right to the tips of my fingers and toes as I moan. Only this time when I moaned my mouth filled with cold water and the warm pleasure of my orgasm mixed with panic as I began to thrash and try to get my head out of the water in vain.

He kept my head held firmly under the water though and all pleasure from my orgasm evaporated as my lungs began to burn and I realised I couldn’t stop myself from drowning. As I realised this there was a sharp pain in my head as he dragged me up out of the water by my pony tail and I gasped in air trying to refill my lungs. As I started to come round a little from my panic I noticed the tingling after glow from the previous pleasure and began to be reminded of the pain of the clamps on my nipples and from being held up only by my hair.

I barely had time to acknowledge these thoughts though before he plunged me back under the water. I didn’t have a burgeoning orgasm to distract me this time but I was oddly calmer. I think I realised he wasn’t going to drown me the second time and I just went with it, holding my breathe as long as I could and then letting it out slowly until my lungs were empty and I started to feel lightheaded again, then I started to panic again and despite resolving not to I thrashed to try and get my head above the water again.

People say that drowning is a very relaxing way to die and that you just drift off, that is not my impression after experiencing the early stages of it. There was no relaxing, once I felt like I was drowning my body just took over trying to save itself and the only thing that mattered was air, relaxed I was not!

There were two more faux drownings after that, leaving me in longer each time and giving me less time to recover between each submersion. By the time he lifted me out of the water and dumped me on the floor I was a wreck, shaking from the cold and the adrenaline gasping in air as fast as I could. Whilst I was still on the floor recovering he released my leg cuffs but reattached the padlock to my wrist cuffs, my legs fell to the floor aching but I was still concentrating on breathing when he pushed his cock deep into my pussy.

He was huge, I’ve been with plenty of guys with various sized cocks but I think this is the biggest I’ve every had. He knelt either side of my splayed legs and lifted my hips, then I briefly felt his tip rub over my clit before he parted my lips and plunged into me. The water helped but I think I was also pretty wet and he wasn’t gentle, his cock rammed up into me and I felt the uncomfortable sensation of him pushing into my cervix just before he pulled back and rammed into me again.

There was no messing around, he obviously enjoyed drowning me a lot because he was rock hard and really fucking me hard with no interest in waiting for me to join in. He didn’t last long, I must have felt really tight on him considering how big he felt to me and about a minute later he rammed into me and I felt his warm cum filling me just before he vacated my cunt and dropped my hips to the floor. He must have barely cum before pulling out of me because I felt his seed run down my pussy as he exited and felt it drip onto my ass and back as he stepped over me.

I lay there for a few minutes, happy for the time to recover a little composure but very horny as I had been close to orgasm when he finished leaving me empty and wanting. When he returned he pulled me up by my hair again but this time I was able to clamber to my feet with my legs freed, he grabbed the chain still attached to my nipple and pulled me along but I screamed as he ripped the clamps straight off my nipples and I felt the exquisite agony of the blood rushing back into them, almost immediately he was in front of me grabbing my nipples and digging his nails into them while I squirmed and gritted my teeth, all the while my pussy getting hotter and wetter.

Not being able to see is very disorienting, I had no idea where I was in the room and every time he moved me I thought I was about to crash into something. As he dragged me over to the bed I could feel his cum dripping out of me and then I fell over his foot and thought I was going face first into the floor but instead landed with my upper body on the bed and my knees on the floor.

I meant to mention at the start but forgot, the bed was an ancient metal framed thing which was once gold coloured but all of gold coating had worn away so it was now mostly grey metal. The mattress was far from comfortable and the sheets looked like they had been washed a few million times. The most positive thing to say about it was that the metal headboard had plenty of roping points.

He had apparently already tied a rope to the headboard because I felt it fall on my back as he threaded it through the padlock holding my wrists together, then he pulled it and my arms were pulled up away from my back and towards the head of the bed into a very awkward and painful position and then he tied off the rope. It was a very clever way to tie me, any movement caused a lot of pain in my arms and shoulders so he’d effectively immobilised me with one rope.

Now that I couldn’t move I jumped when I felt the metal scissors on my back but he was just butting the waistband of my thong so he could pull the ruined garment away, then he used them to wipe away the mess that was dripping from my pussy. There was a moment of nothing and then he told me to open my mouth and predictably the cummy underwear went in before he pushed my chin up and tape was securely sealed my lips. It was a few seconds before I tasted whatever he had smeared on the material, it was a horrendous taste and I tried to push the thong out with my tongue but the tape was strong and I couldn’t part my lips, I could hear him laughing as I moaned trying to get him to remove it before I was sick but he didn’t and I managed to hold it back.

I felt him kneel beside me just before I felt his hands on me, running up my thighs and spreading my legs, his fingers pushing into my pussy and then into my ass as well before withdrawing so he could run his hands up my back and under me to cup and massage my breasts. It’s weird considering he had just fucked me but this was by far the most invasive thing he had done to me so far, his hands probed every part of my body and it felt very personal and intimate in a way that made me feel very violated, then it got worse.

His hair tickled my inner thighs and then his nose gently brushed my lips before his tongue parted them and ran over my clit, dipped into my hole and then over my perineum to my asshole. He ran his tongue around my rear hole for a good couple of minutes before he began to work it into me.

I’ve always considered analingus (or rimming) to be a submissive act but he really managed to turn those tables. With the position I was in, being bound, blindfolded and exposed and with him being a complete stranger to me, the fact he had his tongue pushed deep into my most personal area felt very violating and degrading, it was like he was saying “I will do whatever I want with your body and there is nothing you can do about it”.

As he continued to tongue my ass he slid two fingers into my pussy and to my shame I was dripping wet, he easily slid a third finger in and began fucking my pussy with his hand, building me up again until I biting down on the foul tasting material in my mouth as I came with his tongue in my ass and hand stretching my cunt.

Whilst he was off doing something and I recovered from my orgasm I found I had to swallow an excess of saliva that was being generated in my gagged mouth, and that whatever was on the gag had given my spit the same vile taste as the thong and I struggled not to gag as I swallowed it.

I screamed more from surprise than pain as something hit my ass with serious force, the gag prevented much noise from escaping though even when the second blow landed and my brain started to catch on to the sensation coming from my ass. I think it was a cane based on the marks I had the next day, he was relentless with it whatever it was and rained down blows all over my ass which was raw and burning almost immediately. He kept on hitting me over and over again for a long time, no asking me to count, no requests of me, just a sustained beating of my ass that had tears soaking the inside of my eye patches. Amazingly I would find out the next day that the skin was never broken although my ass was a mess and sitting is still a little uncomfortable a week and half later.

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When he finally stopped I could hear him panting from the exertion, it must have been quite tiring swinging the cane for such a long period of time, I know it was exhausting to be on the other end of it. I think he sat down for a bit in the chair opposite the bed, it felt like he was staring at me and it made me feel exposed and vulnerable.

If that is what he was doing he obviously liked what he saw because a few minutes later his hard cock pushed between my ass cheeks and found my tight little hole. I think he must have lubed himself because he managed to get the head into me with relative ease and then he just put all his weight behind pushing the rest of himself inside me.

Like I said before he has a large cock and my ass is fairly tight but that didn’t stop his burying it in me until his balls rested against my pussy. I felt like my ass would rip, I’ve never felt so full in my ass before and it was equal parts amazing and agonising, if you’ve never had anything up your ass then it’s hard to describe but it is certainly a unique feeling to be so deeply and fully fucked in there.

He held himself fully inserted for a minute and then began to thrust, I thought he might be more gentle this time but that clearly wasn’t his thing, he began the same rhythm of hard deep thrusts that he had used on my pussy and I moaned into the gag whilst he truly did violate me ass until he came in me for the second time. Just like before he painfully pulled his cock out of me as soon as he came leaving me empty and wanting.

Once again I was left alone for a few minutes and then I felt him tying rope around my leg, just above my knee, then the same on the other leg and then my legs were pulled apart by the rope as he pulled them around the legs of the bed and tied them off. This caused me knees to be spread wider meaning making for a more uncomfortable position but also made me lower down which put more pressure on my arms. He then reach between my legs and I could feel a slight tugging on my large clit ring then it was pulled hard away from me which was so agonisingly painful I can’t describe it. I shouted into the gag and shook my head but he removed his arms and I realised he tied my clit ring to the bed with it pulled in a horrendous way.

I stopped screaming at him when I heard the door shut and then heard only silence.

I assumed he wouldn’t be gone long but after what I guessed was twenty minutes I wasn’t so sure, I found that if I slid my body a little downwards I could relieve some of the pull on my clit which was a lot more bearable. The problem was it put extra pressure on my arms and shoulders but it was worth it to relieve it on my poor little clit.

It seemed like he was gone for hours but in fact I think it was about one hour, the door opened and I turned my head even though I couldn’t actually look at him, I did hear what I thought was a carrier bag though.

His hands were on me again then, groping all over my body in the possessive way that he had done before, probing my wet used holes, he scooped some cum out of my ass with his finger and wiped it on the tape just below my nose so I was treated to the mixed scent of ass and cum then he came close to my ear.

He said “I’m tired now cunt. I’m going to get into this bed and sleep for a while and if you wake me up you will really regret it.” I nodded resigning myself to staying in this painful position for the next few hours and then I felt his hands on me again.

He placed a hand on each of my ass cheeks and I felt they were wet, he ran them all over my ass then down between my cheeks and pushed a finger into my rear hole. The burning started about that time, I’ve no idea what he put on my but it stung horrendously on my caned ass and ass he ran his hands over more places the burning spread to them. He continued from my asshole down between my pussy lips coating my pussy inside and out with the substance until both my pussy and ass were on fire. The last thing he did was to run a finger over my outstretched exposed clit.

I vaguely remember the bed moving as he climbed onto it and definitely heard him laughing as I writhed below his feet.My tearful eyes were wide open behind the patches as I tried not to scream into the gag, I didn’t want to keep him awake and incur a worse fate but it was incredibly difficult when my most sensitive parts burned so severely that I genuinely feared that damage was being done.

The next hour was horrendous, the burning was intense and the position painful and uncomfortable. Any attempt to change position just made it worse for one part of me or another and I ended up retreating to how I was before.

The burning eventually began to fade but the strains on my body continued for the rest of the night and by the time I heard him begin to stir my limbs were painfully numb (if that makes any sense at all) and I was covered in a layer of sweat. He made no effort to talk to me as he climbed out of bed and came round to me.

He undid my clit ring first, then each of my legs and then my arms, when he did those I basically just collapsed to the floor and listened to him chuckling. He ripped off the tape and I spat out the ruined thong and achingly moved my jaw around. It was hard to move my arms and pain shot through them as I forced them back to a normal position eventually getting my body into a foetal position where I stayed until he pulled me up by my pony tail.

My hair was pulled tightly as he led me into the bathroom and into the bath on my knees, I thought he would make me swallow his piss but instead he just let it go in my face and let his dark yellow morning pee run all over my head and hair.

When he was done he pulled out back out of the bath by my hair and walked me into the bedroom again, he padlocked my wrists behind me again and then walked me a bit further. He pinched my left nipple and then a very tight clamp was placed on and I bit my lip to avoid making a noise, then the same on my other nipple. The clamps were the metal teeth of an old wooden coat hanger with clamps to hang trousers from and he let it hang from my nipples twisting them harshly. Then he pulled me forward and then yanked it upward, making me catch my breath, and then obviously hung it from the rail.

I didn’t need to go on tip toes but at the same time I couldn’t stand flat without pulling on my already tightly crushed nipples so I sort of hovered in between whilst he went to the toilet and had a shower before messing around in the room packing his things.

Finally he came and unhooked the hanger and led me by a few steps before forcing me to my knees and pushing his cock into my mouth. I sucked him like a good slut despite the lack of the use of my hands, he filled my mouth and pushed into my throat sometimes but he didn’t cum in the last of my holes. Instead he pulled me over to the bad and laid on it pulling me by the hanger until I straddled him and then guided himself to my pussy before saying “do it slowly and enjoy it”.

I nodded and gently slid down onto him, his thick cock filling me deliciously as I pushed down until my clit ring lay on him. It was tough on my legs without the use of my arms but I slowly fucked him and to be honest it felt amazing, I kept it slow and steady for a good ten minutes until his hands on my hips told me to speed up and then he quickly came inside me again. I’d kept them quiet but I’d already come a couple of times from the fullness and grinding myself into him on the downward thrusts.

When he came he grabbed the hanged and yanked it, I think he intended to rip it off but the clamps were too tight and I ended up just falling on him. He left me there for a minutes and then rolled me off him and led me, again by the hanger, into the bathroom. He knelt me down on the floor and then used my pony tail to bend me over pushing my head down until I realised he was pushing my head into the toilet and the smell told me immediately it hadn’t been flushed.

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I heard him cough up phlegm and then spit and felt it go in my hair, then he closed the seat as best he could with my head in it and then I heard the sound of tape as he wrapped it around me and the seat. He unlocked the padlock on my cuffs and then the last thing I heard was the door to the room opening and closing.

Even with my arms free it took me about twenty minutes to get the tape off and free myself from the toilet. When I had I flushed it and then sat back on the floor and undid all four of my cuffs before eventually dragging myself off the floor and heading for the bed, I was so tired.

I climbed into bed but then had to jump out again, he’d scattered a load of drawing pins (thumbs tacks) under the covers and several were now stuck in my thigh, I brushed them off and brushed them out of the bed and climbed in. I peeled the patches off my eyes and blinked as even the low light seemed bright, then closed my eyes and went to sleep.

I woke up a couple of hours later when I rolled over and drawing pin stuck into my stomach. I got up, showered and tidied the room before I left and headed home.

 

Blind date

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First of all a small update on the Kayleigh situation, we met up on Tuesday night as I am away for a few days from Thursday. It was like a pleasant catch up for the first half hour then she suggested we get food so we got a table and ordered. Then she said “so you love me?” at which point I got a little flustered and struggled to keep eye contact with her like I had been doing before.

I managed to explain how I felt to her and she was really nice about it, she apologised for how she has made me feel and seemed genuine when she said she didn’t know I still felt that way when she was messing with me. She said that she is with someone but that she would like to be friends but only if I wanted that too and could accept that it wouldn’t be anything more, at least not at the moment. I said I’d think about it while I was away so that’s what I’ll do.

So Saturday, I was really nervous as I drove up to the hotel. I say hotel but it’s really an old pub with about ten rooms attached to it and it is really run down. The “reception” is the bar in the pub and they basically just take payment and give you a key, an actual key not a key card!

Once I’d got the key, along with HUGE wooden keyring that you could probably kill someone with, I headed to the room which was extremely chintzy (British version) and old fashioned, it had quite a musty smell as well but on the plus side it was extremely cheap!

I took the cameras and toys I had been told to bring out of the bag and put them on the bed along with my “outfit” and got undressed then stashed by bag safely in the wardrobe with my phone and clothes in it.

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I’d already had a shower and got myself ready at home with a bit of make-up and my hair tied back in a tight pony tail and was wearing a black thong, garter belt and some thigh high stockings that I had bought for the occasion. On the excellent advice of a friend I was went with lingerie over being naked but bought some cheap stuff rather than risking my expensive Victoria’s Secret stuff getting ruined by whoever was going to be joining me in the dingy room, it still looked good though even if I do say so myself.

Luke had provided two cameras which would record the whole thing for him, which is part of the deal I made with him for arranging all of these fantasy scenarios, the agreement is that he gets videos and pictures but purely for his personal use. I placed one camera on the bedside table facing the bed and then one at the other side of the room as I had been told to and started them both recording very conscious that I was now being filmed virtually naked.

I sat on the bed and strapped my black leather cuffs around my ankles and then wrists and then laid the toys out neatly on the desk including the key to a padlock, then as it was nearly time I knelt on the floor with my feet together and my knees apart and threaded the padlock through the rings on both ankle cuffs. To make sure I definitely wouldn’t see the person who was going to be playing with me I had purchased some adhesive eye patches so I peeled those off and, looking in the mirror, placed them over my eyes and over them put on the eye mask style velvet blindfold I had brought. Finally, with much more difficulty than I had anticipated, threaded the rings from the cuffs onto the padlock and clicked it shut. In the process I really hurt my shoulder so was in pain before it even started!

Due to the way I had bound myself I was forced to lean back on my arms resting my hands on my ankles and with my knees spread wide I’m sure I looked very much like I was presenting myself. I was already getting horny from the anticipation and my nipples were hard, standing out from my breasts that were already being pushed out by my position.

With my sight entirely removed I was very conscious of every sound and a few loud bangs made me jump and then giggle knowing it would look very silly on the video, I was very on edge! Eventually I heard the door open, close and then the key turn in the lock.

My heart was beating pretty fast as I waited, I could hear the person moving around me and I could feel their eyes on me in my extremely exposed position, then I felt the air move very close to my face, they were testing my blindfold which was absolutely effective and it made me feel very nervous, like I was going to get punched in the face and I wondered if I should have stipulated no punching, it’s really not my thing.

No punches came though and instead I heard them move behind me and then two hands cupped my breasts and I knew immediately that it was a man whose hands now squeezed my breasts and pinched my already erect nipples, hard, hard enough to eventually make me gasp and bite my lip.

He left one hand crushing my left nipple whilst the other travelled down between my spread legs to feel the already damp underwear covering my pussy, he ran his finger over my clit and then traced the outline of my clit ring a few times. His hand them left my pussy and return to my breasts a second later to attach a clamp to the nipple he had been pinching and then another to my right nipple.

They were the set of nipple and clit clover clamps that I’d left out but rather than putting the remaining clamp on it’s designated spot he pulled it from behind me and continued to pull it until I realised he was leading me somewhere. He didn’t say a word, just kept pulling on the chain whilst I awkwardly started to walk on my knees feeling like I looked utterly ridiculous.

It took ten minutes to reach our destination, he very patiently kept the chain taut and my nipples crushed as I made my way to where he wanted me, which as it turned out was the bathroom (I laddered my stockings on the door plate so I’m glad I didn’t wear my expensive stuff!). I knelt in the bathroom for a minute, just waiting, my pussy was warm and wet and my heart was beating fast, I yelped as he picked me up from behind with remarkable ease placing one hand round my chest and one between my legs and then he put me down on my front in the bath with my arms and legs bent behind me in so I was in a transitional hog-tie position although a very tight and uncomfortable one as my ankles and wrists were held very close together.

He hadn’t removed the clamps so my tits were crushed into them because I couldn’t hold myself up in any way. He tried a few times to pull and rip my thong but apparently Ann Summers used some strong lace because they were just pulled roughly between my lips and didn’t give. He disappeared for a moment then returned and I felt metal against my pussy and then the crotch of my thong disappeared (doubly glad I didn’t wear my expensive stuff!) and my ring fell to the floor of the bath sending a jolt through me. I heard the buzz of the vibe just before it touched my ring and sent amazing feelings through my pussy.

Whoever this person was Luke had obviously told them how to push my buttons, he placed the vibe through the ring and pushed it just a little into my pussy leaving the ring resting on top of it which had the effect of causing vibrations in the entrance to my hole as well as intense clitoral stimulation and it didn’t take long before I was close to orgasm, then he turned on the tap.

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The freezing cold water poured into the bath by my head, splashing my face and very quickly covering my nipples and working its way up to my pussy…and face. I’m not really a fan of breath play, it’s not something I’ve ever been interested in trying but at this point I didn’t have a choice. I lifted my head as the water rose to keep my mouth and nose out of it but at the same time he turned the vibrator up to a higher setting and despite the situation and the cold water it was having the inevitable effect on my body.

I don’t remember ever being in a situation quite like that before, where I’m panicking and on the verge of cumming at the same time. I was pushing my head back as far as I could when the water reached my lips and then I heard him speak for the first time, he said “deep breath” and I had just enough time to follow the order before his hand came down on the back of my head and forced me under the cold water whilst his other hand pressed the vibe directly against my clit which pushed me over the edge.

This was definitely a first, I’ve never cum whilst being submerged in water before and it was amazing and scary all at once.

This write up is continued here


I’m very sorry, I wanted to get this whole thing written before I went away but there was a snafu with my holiday money and I’m really stressed out and I just don’t have time to finish it so I’m going to leave it there and pick up where I left off in my next post next week, something to look forward to anyway!