Time to come back?

The last time I wrote a proper post I was about to get married and now we’ve just celebrated our two year anniversary!

And what a strange time it’s been! Fingers crossed we’re nearly done with it though, I’ve had one jab and it won’t be too long before I have my second one.

I’ve been thinking for a while that I’d quite like to get back to writing again, I’ve got no idea if anyone really looks here anymore or if it would be “successful” but I always found writing this blog fairly cathartic and very much enjoyed the back and forth in the comments and I miss that.

I was talking to a friend the other day (Slave Mila) and she encouraged me to get back into it and I told her about a little funny story that we thought might make a good post.

A few weeks ago I was reading a book when Mistress came into the room and told me to get up and follow her. I did and she lead me to the cupboard under the stairs and told me to get into the cupboard and stay there until morning!

I was kind of shocked, I wasn’t aware of having done anything to deserve a punishment but decided that rather than questioning it (and potentially getting myself in more trouble) I’d just go with it.

This cupboard is basically a dumping ground of stuff and all the floor space in it taken up with…well, stuff. I managed to get in and she immediately closed the door putting me into pitch darkness.

I just stood there for a few minutes kind of bewildered and then I tried to move some things around so I could at least sit down (I sat on a cardboard box which I later found out held a spare water thing for the coffee machine, and high I broke).

Time rolled on and I started to realise this Miss wasn’t coming back for me and I made some more space resigning myself to sleeping in the hot and cramped space.

I slept curled around the recycling bin with my head a bunch of carrier bags for a pillow (not my best idea, noisiest pillow ever!) and eventually in the morning the door opened and I found a cup of coffee writhing for me as I crawled out on all fours squinting at the bright light. I’d been in the cupboard for nearly twelve hours.

Mistress watched me crawl out from the breakfast bar with a wicked smile on her face and I joined her there. She enquired “sleep well?” and I replied “yes fine thanks, you?” (I don’t always like to give her the satisfaction!) and she just smiled.

Once I’d finished my coffee I ask “Are you going to tell me why you put me in the cupboard?”. Her reply was “No real reason, I was bored. I thought you’d come out to ask why and then I’d let you off but you didn’t so I just let you stay there.”

I realised that I hadn’t really thought about or worried about what I’d done to end up in the predicament, I’d just got on with it. I was kind of pleased with myself for that, also furious with Mistress!

This is a perfect example of how she loves to mess with me, she is the queen of the mind fuck and while I don’t always enjoy it at the time, it certainly keeps things interesting between us!

I hope you enjoyed this little insight into our married lives together tame though this tale may be. I’d love to hear from people in the comments and I’ll try and write some more soon x

Achievements

Achievements

So it is 2pm on Thursday 10th May 2018 and I have been a very busy girl today and wanted to share everything I have achieved so far today!

I got up at 6am when my fitness band vibrated on my wrist, no snoozing, no second alarm just straight out of bed. I bought a fitness band not to track my steps and things but simply so that I could have a silent alarm that would make me but not Mistress as I have things to do before she wakes up.

I used the toilet and then got in the shower and cleaned myself thoroughly which includes ensuring that no body hair exists anywhere and that both of my holes are washed out with water .Occasionally Mistress will push a finger deep into me and if it comes out dirty then cleaning her finger with my mouth is the least of my worries! That hasn’t happened for a long time though.

After my shower but before dressing I went to the kitchen and prepared some food. Mistresses office location means she has few options for lunch so likes to take something with her, this morning I made a couscous and pomegranate salad whilst some croissant baked in the oven and then I took a croissant and coffee up to her.

Mistress enjoys watching me get ready for work whilst she eats her breakfast. At first it made me feel very self-conscious as she watched me dry my hair and apply my makeup and then get dressed, bending over and hiding nothing. Now though it is almost like a show, I make sure I bend over at just the right angles so that my fiancé can enjoy the best views of every part of my body.

Anyway, once I was dressed she called me over to the bed and opened her legs. There were no orders given, and despite the fact that I had just done my makeup etc, my lips were on hers almost immediately and I was savouring the taste of her as my tongue circled her clit.

She came with her hand on the back of my head so that she could grind her pussy into my face and casually lifted her leg over me and headed for the shower leaving me knelt on the bed.

I brushed my messed up hair again whilst her juices dried around my mouth because I’m not permitted to wipe it off, ever, then I applied my makeup again and changed my underwear which was already soaked through. That seems like a simple thing when you’re wearing a skirt but it really isn’t because I have to wear a matching lingerie set at all times so changing my knickers means also changing my bra and garter belt. I almost didn’t bother but I do like to start the day with at least mostly dry knickers!

When Miss came out of the shower I could see I was in trouble for something, she had that look on her face and it didn’t take me long to remember that I hadn’t picked my wet towel up off the floor in the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and I walked over to her, knelt and then belt over her knee in as graceful a way as possible. She said “Do you know why?” and I responded “Yes Mistress, the towel, I’m sorry” and she replied with “Ten then”.

She lifted my skirt to reveal my ass cheeks (almost all of my underwear is thongs so that my ass cheeks are almost always bare) and I counted out each severe slap of her hand. Punishment spankings are very different from play spankings, there is no warm up, no gentle swats to get me ready or roaming fingers to explore how I’m reacting to the attention, it’s ten hard and fast and then a quick hug before she let me get up so she could get ready.

After doing my hair for the third time I left the house at 7:30 and sat uncomfortably in the car on my freshly reddened ass until I arrived at work.

At 12pm, having done just over four hours of work I left the office for my lunch hour, I rarely take the full hour but I needed to today. I got into a waiting taxi that I had already ordered as per the text I had received at 11am from Mistress, I reviewed some paperwork on the ten minute taxi ride. At my destination I asked the taxi to wait for me and then went down behind some buildings and knocked on the back door of a familiar one.

I was let in by the usual person and led in silence to a small messy office in the corner of the store-room where I pulled my skirt up around my waist and knelt on the floor. The guy has quite good stamina and despite my now well practised skills in fellatio it usually takes about eight minutes before I’m swallowing his cum, this time with his hand buried in my hair.

This “service” that Mistress has me provide has turned sucking cock and swallowing cum into a sort of non-thing for me. The act itself does turn me on but only really because of how humiliating it is to be used in that way by strangers, actually sucking the cock and swallowing is almost like muscle memory now, I can think about other things while I do it and my mouth just does what it is supposed to.

After sorting my hair again and reapplying lipstick I got back into the waiting taxi and had it drop me in town. I got a sandwich and a coke to join my “snack” and took it back to the office to eat with some of my colleagues.

I wonder what the rest of the day has in store for me!

Evil genius

EvilGenius

Some people have commented both here and on my Tumblr that Mistress Fiona is an evil genius after I wrote about her recent penchant for ruining my orgasms, I’d like to put the record straight on this point here and now: you are absolutely correct but you don’t even know the half of it!

I’ve talked here about a few of the more significant things that Mistress has me do, the blow job service for example, but not much about the little things she comes up with that reinforce her position over me but also keep my mind focused on what she wants it focused on.

Here is an example; one day whilst I was in New York we spoke shortly after I got up and before I headed to the office. You’ll remember that I had to wear a vibrating egg and vibrating anal plug whenever I was in the apartment there and she could control them from her phone. Throughout the conversation she had the anal plug on and kept changing the intensity at which it vibrated inside me, she never once mentioned this, it was just something that went on throughout the call and I accepted without question.

When it was time for the call to end so that I could go to work she gave me a simple order, to remove the plug and then spread a generous amount of vaseline between my ass cheeks covering every part that would normally touch. I thought it a strange request at the time but I knew what she was trying to achieve the moment I started walking down the street.

I don’t know how to describe this effectively but I’ll try my best. Your body has a natural way of “being”, your flesh, muscle and fat sit in a certain way and your body is used to it and doesn’t register in your brain when, for instance, your ass cheeks sit against each other and don’t separate or move against each other when you walk. What does register though is if there is some slippery substance that causes your ass cheeks to slide over each other with every movement.

The effect Mistress was hoping for, and the effect she was successful in creating was that I couldn’t move all day without thinking about my ass. For those of you who’ve been fucked in your ass it was like I’d had anal sex and the cum was leaking from my ass, except it felt like it was leaking out all day.

I don’t even really know why but this made me incredibly horny and by the time I got back to the apartment that evening my pussy was easily as lubricated as my ass was. Such a simple thing that made a significant difference to my mindset throughout the day.

In a similar vein of keeping a certain part of my body at the forefront of my thoughts is another trick that she has used several times. Using a pencil she will push a balloon into my pussy and then use a hand pump to inflate it. She doesn’t make it large, painful or even uncomfortable but just large enough for me feel full, then she will tie a piece of string to it and push the remaining part inside me.

Once it is inside only the string protrudes and is hardly noticeable, it’s hard to describe the feeling but any girls reading will understand when I say it feels “full”. It makes me even wetter than usual and the change between sitting and standing creates a noticable shift inside and you can’t help but think about your pussy.

The balloon isn’t inflated enough for there to be any chance of it popping so it’s perfectly safe in terms of it causing injury or being detected by people around you and a few times she has had great fun extracting it later without deflating it first.

Finally one of her favourite things, the kobayashi maru clamp, or that’s what I call it anyway. If you don’t get the reference then, well it’s probably a good thing and I’m not going to explain it for fear of further exposing my geekiness!

561339_sk_lgThe clamp in question is of the type that I would call “binder clips”, the picture on the right shows what I mean. When used on flesh these clips are particularly nasty clamps and once attached it is possible to squeeze the metal handles together and remove them which makes it virtually impossible to open the clip.

Mistress is fond of applying these to various parts of my anatomy and then allowing me to remove them whenever I please. The only effective way to do so though is to pull them off and that is incredibly painful, the level of pain is dependant on where the clamp has been placed, obviously, but also on how long it has been on. Therein lies the particularly devious part, you are extremely reluctant to pull the clip off because you know how much it will hurt but at the same time you are thinking that every minute it stays on it will be worse when it comes off, a no-win situation.

A particularly cruel example of this was when Mistress blindfolded me naked and then attached one of these clamps to each pussy lip, one to each nipple and one to my tongue. She then tied string around them and tied the nipple and pussy ones to the bed head that I was stood next to and the tongue one to a ring in the ceiling. Finally she cuffed my wrists behind my back.

After a lengthy cropping of my thighs, ass and breasts which I was completely helpless to defend myself from, she left the room stating that she would be waiting for me downstairs. Having had my, now numb, tongue pulled up and out of my mouth for some time I had drool all over me and was desperate to get down from my predicament.

Even if Mistress hadn’t removed the handles from the clips it would have been impossible for me to remove them normally so I had no choice but to pull each of the clamps off by moving away from where they were tied.

Thinking it would be easiest I crouched until the string from my tongue was taut and then jerked back, the pain was intense and it felt like my tongue immediately swelled up. Next I did the same sort of motion with my nipples, thinking it would be better to just get it over with I moved until they both felt taut and then yanked. Only one came off which was excruciating in itself but the other one merely dragged across the sensitive skin of my nipple and then pinched unbearable right on the tip of it.

With my knees feeling weak from the strain of the extended bondage, the pain of the whipping and now the systematic abuse of my most sensitive parts I quickly yanked it off the tip of my nipple causing the post pain yet to shoot through my left breast.

Later I found out that Mistress had watch the whole thing with great amusement and arousal as I struggled to free myself from the torturous bondage she had put me in.

The final two were the worst, there was little choice other than to pull them both off at once and this time I was successful in doing so but the pain was out of this world! The clamping pain is one thing, it is very painful but over the years I’ve got used to how it feels, it’s the scraping, scratching sensation that makes it so much worse.

By the time I got downstairs and removed the blindfold my nipples, pussy lips and tongue were all swollen and all had small scratches and cuts on them that stung painfully. Mistress cleaned each one gently and then knelt me in front of her so that I could use my newly enlarged tongue to thank her properly.

P.s. ten points if you can guess the reference of the header image!

Hindsight

Friends

When I was in my second year at University (College to any US readers) I was a very different person. For a start I was straight (or thought I was) and was really quite vanilla. It wasn’t long since I’d had my nipples pierced for the first time which was the event that awakened my masochism, you can read about that elsewhere on this blog.

I was much like any other girl at university really, studying, having fun and making friends whilst living in halls. Then in my second year I lived in a flat with two other girls who I’d met in the first year and this is the time I wanted to talk about in this post. The reason is, whilst I didn’t think much of it at the time or for years afterwards, I have recently come to realise that it was my first experience of dominance.

It wasn’t like this before we moved in together but a dynamic gradually built in the days and weeks after the first term started. One of the other girls I was living with, I’ll call her Christine, started to ask me to do things. It was small things like to make a coffee in the morning when she got up or to get her something from the shops while I was out but she never asked the other girl we lived with or our other friends, it was always me.

I kind of liked it, it made me feel like I was her “best” friend and the one she relied on for things. Being young, that was important to me especially as Christine was the prettiest and most popular of our group. As time went on some of these things became routine, for example I was always up before her and made her a coffee and brought it into her room without being asked, at first she thanked me but then she stopped and we both just accepted the routine.

After a few weeks, rather than asking me to get things while I was out she started leaving me little shopping lists, she would go into my room when I was out or even when I was in the shower and leave them on my bed. Despite the agreed rule that we didn’t go into each others rooms without permission this didn’t really apply to her and my room, or to me and her room because I often went in to her room to drop off the things I’d bought for her.

One time I was heading to the laundry room to do my washing and she saw me, she said something along the lines of “Oh would you be a darling and throw some of my things in with yours?”, I said I would and she said to grab them off the floor in her room then she left. I went back to her room and found her laundry basket almost empty and dirty clothes all over the place on the floor. I remember feeling like I should be annoyed but really not being and instead just going round picking up her dirty clothes and underwear (she was a bit of a messy person!) and then taking them to wash with mine. I washed, dried and folded them all before leaving them on the end of her bed. Again, after a few times of asking me to do her washing it became routine, she stopped asking and I just collected her stuff when I did my own.

I honestly didn’t think much about this, we were really good friends and spent most of our free time together and I didn’t mind doing a few chores for her, that’s what friends are for isn’t it? It wasn’t until nearly Christmas that the other girl who lived with us mentioned it when we were alone, she asked if it bothered me that Christine had me doing all of her chores but never did anything for me. I found myself playing how much I did for her down, “It’s only a few things for a friend, I don’t mind helping her, she’s not good with the domestic stuff is she?”. In hindsight I knew she was right but put it out of my mind, I think subconsciously I didn’t want to answer the question of WHY I didn’t mind it.

Remember I was entirely straight at this point in my life, I’d never had any experiences with other girls and didn’t know much about BDSM, I was at the very beginning of finding out about it all. I was also desperate to be “normal”, I’d discovered that I liked pain and that it turned me on but I didn’t want to be that way. Being “normal” was very important to me at this time in my life.

This all continued after Christmas, we hung out a lot and it was completely normal except that I did everything for us. Made the drinks, fetched duvets for us to lay under while watching movies, whatever needed doing I did it but it was purely platonic.

Then Christine started to get a little, well, slutty! She discovered that she liked all the attention she got from guys and started to have some fun with it and when I say “some” I mean “a lot”! There was a student night at a local club and we went every week and most weeks she picked up a guy to bring back to the flat.

The thing is, she didn’t just pick up guys for her. The first time it happened the guy she was chatting up had a friend, he didn’t want to leave his friend and Christine basically guilt tripped me into chatting to his friend so that we could all go home and she could fuck the guy, I ended up drunkenly giving his friend a blow job.

Over the next few months this also became routine, her choosing a guy on a night out and then choosing one for me too. This is the part that I really should have thought was strange at the time, no one else picked up on it because no one else knew except me and her that she was basically choosing men for me and I was going along with it whether I was attracted to the guy or not.

This only went on for a few months and then she seemed to realise that she was sleeping with too many guys and calmed down a bit, which meant my sex life also went back to normal!

One time whilst I was retrieving her dirty laundry from her bedroom floor I found a vibrator under her bed. Of course I had my own vibrator but mine was a tiny bullet one, hers was a rabbit style one and looked huge to me! I took it out and looked at it, put my hand around its girth to see how big it felt, I was definitely wet thinking about it being used. Then I heard a noise and, jumping, I spun around to face the door but there was no one there. I returned the vibrator to it’s place under the bed and left her room.

On my birthday a month later she gave me a lovely bracelet but when I went to bed that night there was an extra package on my bed, it was a rabbit vibrator just like hers. We never discussed it, she never as much as gave me a knowing smile, but we both knew she’d caught me with hers and we both knew what we got up to in our rooms on our own at night!

The following year we lived in a house with three other girls and although I think Christine tried to keep me doing her chores the other girls wouldn’t have it, they called her lazy and despite me saying I didn’t mind they wouldn’t allow me to do as much for her and we ended up becoming less close, still friends in the same group but not as much of a “group within a group”. We kept in touch after I left university but I never spoke with her again after I left London.

I hadn’t thought about her in many years until Mistress and I were talking when I was at home last week. I’d never considered that time to be anything more than girls living together at university but in hindsight I think she basically Domme’d me, but without any sexual element. She had me wrapped around her little finger and I would have done pretty much anything for her and we were both perfectly happy with it. I don’t think she did it intentionally, I think she was naturally dominant and I was naturally submissive and we just fell into it with each other. I do wonder where she is now and whether she ever got into the lifestyle like I have.

This all came as a bit of a revelation to me recently so I thought I’d share it on here with you all, I hope you enjoy learning a little bit more about my past and what makes me the woman I am today!

Another point of view

CheekKiss

I met my sub under quite unusual circumstances, I’d been following her exploits for some time via this blog and also through a mutual acquaintance, Hannah. Lois and Hannah knew each other as subs a long time ago but drifted apart after Lois parted ways with her then partner. I met Hannah during that time when she was just starting to switch and have been friends with her through her transformation into a Domme.

My interest in Lois was always fairly detached, I enjoyed reading about her exploits but nothing really more than that and then she sort of dropped off my radar when she broke up with her previous Domme (Kayleigh) and stopped writing as much.

I think at some point during that time she reconnected with Hannah and played with her a bit which in turn brought her back to my attention through my conversations with Hannah.

My opinion of Lois at that time in her life is that she was, without wanting to be cruel, broken. She was running around looking for something to fill the void she was left with when she split with Kayleigh without ever dealing with the hurt she felt from it. She’d either play with anyone who offered her a distraction from her own thoughts, irrelevent of whether she got anything from it or she would bury herself in work to the point that it made her ill. I saw an amazing woman, an amazing masochist going completely to waste and in dire need of control and direction.

That might all seem harsh but if you ask her she will agree, she calls it “spiraling”. She sought crazier and more extreme play as a way to keep “happiness” in her life when she couldn’t find it where she really wanted to. People like Lois, submissive and masochistic people, put a huge amount of trust in another person when they submit to them, they literally give their body to them and usually their heart and soul as well. The break up with Kayleigh was devastating for Lois in a way that I don’t think most people can really understand.

I have spoken with Kayleigh since taking Lois and in her defence, she was young and naive, she didn’t know what she had, she was overwhelmed trying to give Lois what she wanted and to grow herself as a person and she basically ran away. She didn’t realise the profound effect it would have on Lois over the following years. I’m not defending her actions but her own struggles do deserve some consideration.

Anyway, I’ve got completely off track, I am not such an acomplished writer as my sub is.

Through talking to Hannah and following Lois’ blog I began to become more fascinated with Lois and ideas began to form in my head about how I would guide her and train her. How I could harness her masochism and submissiveness to my own will and I have to admit I had a fair few interesting dreams about her.

Eventually I spoke with Hannah about my interest in Lois, it had got to a point that I wanted to play with her. We hatched a plan.

I like to mess with a subs head, it’s not just about the physical for me, I like to ilicit the most extreme emotions in them when I play with them. Lois wrote about the time I made her think I was going to nail her hands to a board. I barely touched her through that whole scene but when I held her afterwards she was shaking uncontrollably, she was in floods of tears and clinging to me like a child. She confessed afterwards she’d experienced a tsunami of emotions at the moment that I’d pulled her into my arms. I loved creating that huge physical and mental reaction in her, and, she asks to borrow my shoes now!

The meeting was carefully orchastrated, I knew of Lois’ plans to have a self torture session in her shed just like everyone else as she had posted all about it on her blog. What Lois likes about self bondage, the way she does it, is the inescapability of it. She has invested a lot of thought in crafting scenarios that are inevitable and I think that is very brave, and possibly foolish! Anyway, I knew she would be locked in a place that I could get to, she would be horny, vunerable and her senses would be hightened.

I sat in my car and watched Lois arrive home from work, looking every bit the normal business woman. When she went inside I moved up to park across from her house where I could see down the side and, vaguely, see her shed. I was wearing all black tight fitting clothes, I’m sure I looked like a burgler or something, it’s fortunate she has no nosey neighbours! I watched as she went to the shed and then returned to the house, then took forever before returning to the shed in a dressing gown.

I left my car and slipped down the side of her house and, as quietly as possible, through the gate and waited in the shadows being careful to position myself so that I wouldn’t be seen if she came back out of the shed. In doing so I was conscious that I was visible from the road, sneaking around is harder work than it looks.

I needed to give her plenty of time get settled into her self bondage scene, it was important for my own plan that she was incapacitated and most importantly blindfolded, before I made my move so once I was sure she was definitely starting I returned to my car and left her to it.

I drove home and spent a couple of hours texting Hannah, I was nervous about how she would react but anxious to get on with it, Hannah suggested leaving it a few hours. Patience is a virtue I usually have in spades and I found it interesting that in this case I was so impatient to get this done.

I arrived back outside her house in the early hours of the morning and parked directly outside her house. There was every chance I’d get caught doing this and had my plan B all ready, basically come clean immediately. I repeated my steps down the side and then with my heart pumping fast and butterflies in my chest, I pulled open the door and stepped inside.

Lois was kneeling in front of me, completely naked and spread wide. Her head was pulled back by the bondage she had put herself in and she had drool dripping from around the gag in her mouth. There were weighted clamps hanging from her nipples and pussy lips and a large ring from her clit. It took me a few seconds to work out what she’d done but then I realised the rope that was holding her head back was also a weighted crotch rope. Her pussy looked red and swollen, and wet, she was quite the sight to behond and it took considerable self restraint not to get involved in this wonderful scene, she looked gorgeous.

She was trying to say something, presumably asking who was there but I couldn’t understand through her gag. I could see her breathing was getting faster, she was freaking out, I smiled. After admiring her handiwork and her body though I stuck to my plan, I bent down close to her holding my breath and then kissed her on the cheek just below her eye leaving a red lipstick mark there so that she’d know that I was female.

She jumped a mile when I kissed her and almost headbutted me, I watched her moaning into her gag, the jerky movement had yanked on her crotch rope and the bricks hanging from it were swinging back and forth, I took pity on her a little and steadied them, then I bent down and took out my lipstick.

I expected this to be difficult, that she wouldn’t stay still while I drew on her chest but after the initial touch of the lipstick she cooperated while I wrote my phone number there. I didn’t know if she was scared or just being submissive but I appreciated her making that easier for me.

When I was done she quite calmly said “who is it” and managed to make it understandable despite the gag, she sounded almost pleading when she said it and it made me smile. I blew her a kiss and left the shed.

I waited outside the shed for at least ten minues, standing silently, to make sure she didn’t freak out so much that she hurt herself trying to get out of her bondage, then I left. I was very excited to have initiated things with her, excited thinking about her still in that shed and in bondage, forced to stay there and think about what had just happened. I imagined her fantasing about who it could be, her pussy dripping with the excitement, the humiliation and the shame of it.

It was a terrible idea.

In hindsight, knowing Lois more intimately and knowing the state of her mind at the time this was a huge mistake and overstep. What I’d intended as a fun and exciting introduction brought back a lot of fears and insecurities she has that I was not aware of at the time.

As planned I didn’t answer her calls straight away, my intention was to keep her guessing for a little longer, maybe call her back when I knew she couldn’t answer and then go silent again when she called back. I wanted her to be desperate and excited to find out who it was.

You should never question Lois’ intelligence or resourcefulness, it only took her a couple of days before she had my name and was yelling at Hannah, and I mean yelling. This was not any meek submissive girl from what I’ve been told, she was furious with Hannah and I felt terrible for damaging their friendship, Hannah was really upset too. She called me and I immediately called Lois.

I won’t go into the detail of that conversation but it started off quite unpleasant but ended in a much more friendly fashion.

A week or so later we went for a meal, Hannah and her sub, myself and Lois. I admit I was quite nervous about meeting her properly, after what had gone on we were hardly on the Domme/sub sort of footing I was hoping we would be so I had no idea how it would go. I was still fairly certain I’d blown any chance with her before we’d even met.

She was dressed a lot more casually than I was, I’d gone for boots and a dress which I think makes me look good and had worn the deep red lipstick that I had drawn on her with, she was in jeans! I don’t have a thing like most male Doms do where subs always have to wear dresses and skirts but this just told me she wasn’t seeing me as potential for dating.

Hannah very craftily motioned Lois into the booth next to her sub and then got in herself so that I would be facing Lois. As soon as we sat down Hannah upped the sexual tension by giving some orders to her sub, basically making her sit and masturbate while the rest of us talked.

I smiled watching the girl squirm and noticed Lois squirming a little herself and it gave me an idea. We all chatted quite civilly for a while, nothing overtly sexual but I was getting a good vibe from Lois and was certainly relaxing so when the food came and Hannah let her sub stop masturbating I suggested that Lois clean her fingers for her.

It was a bit of a risky move, after the drama with our meeting I thought it could go either way but I didn’t see the point in messing around. If she stormed off at least I’d know where we stood and could move on. The girls fingers were coated in her cum and Lois made out like she was going to lick them clean but then wiped them with a napkin at the last moment, I couldn’t help it, a laugh burst out of me.

I’m not sure why I found it so funny, part of me was definitely offended by her lack of respect and her defiance but part of me couldn’t help but be amused. This is because although the act itself was defiant it was plainly obvious that she was trying to make a point and that this was absolutely not her natural instinct or behaviour. I didn’t appreciate Hannah’s sub smirking though and gave her a sterm look, Hannah caned her for it later while I watched.

Hannah gave us a little time on our own later and I was definitely feeling mutual attraction from Lois, she was very attentive when I was speaking and very engaged in the conversation. She has since confessed she was trying to be very “unsubmissive” but I have to say she failed miserably, even if I hadn’t known I would have identified her as a submissive easily.

The night was drawing to a close and I was certain I wanted to spend more time with Lois so I asked and happily she agreed. I felt it was important to understand what I was asking for though so I took her glass of wine and, while she watched, let some saliva run from my mouth into it. A little uncouth I admit but I was improvising with little to work with, as the other two returned I quite serious told her not to disobery me again.

Despite that she didn’t touch her wine and ten minutes later we were getting up to leave. I needed some confirmation that this was going to go the way I wanted so I told Lois to finish her wine, which still had my bubbly spit floating on its surface. This was it for me, if she didn’t drink it I would walk away but she drank it all and the little blushing smile she gave me spoke a thousand words.

Lois was picked up by her sister and the three of us went back to Hannah’s home. After she was caned the sub was sent to bed and Hannah and I spent half the night talking about various things but I kept bringing it back to Lois. I was very excited, more excited than I had been about the scene in a long time. I saw huge potential in her as a sub and knew it would work well with us, we could both give each other what we needed and beyond that I could tell she was an amazing, intelligent, funny person that I could see myself spending a lot of happy time with. I was very excited about our next date.

I’ve been thinking about doing this for a while, giving my side of those turbulent events at the start. I’m no writer, I don’t have Lois’ skills in that area but hopefully it will come across well enough for her fans to enjoy it at least a little. If you did, let me know in the comments and I will maybe try and write my side of some of her other activities at some point.

Fiona

 

Travel

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As those of you who follow me on Tumblr will know the reason I am not currently posting is because I have been away in New York for the last three weeks for work, I’m currently home for a few days but am then heading back to the States for another week or two. It sounds glamorous but it really isn’t, it is extremely busy and quite lonely at times.

Whilst away I have had no “fun” that you would be interested in, we had some ideas of things we could do long distance but I’ve been so busy (working twelve hour days, six days a week) that there hasn’t really been any time for it and when I’m not working I’m so tired that Mistress just allows me to rest.

We talk often and we have maintained some of my rules, for instance I dress the same as when at home and wear my day collar out of the apartment I’m staying in and my indoors collar when I’m back there. Mistress has also bought an internet controlled vibrator for me to take back with me when I return to New York in a few days so that should be fun.

She has also told me that she is close to setting up one or two New York based customers for her “blow job service”, so that could be interesting if I can find the time to provide the service to them. I have no idea how she has made these contacts in the US or what kind of people they will be but that is true of the local “customers” as well. It is really quite humiliating when I consider that a recurring part of my life now involves allowing, in fact making complete strangers cum in my mouth and swallowing what they “offer” me. Prior to the last few weeks whilst I have been away there wasn’t a week that passed when I didn’t swallow a strangers cum!

In other news, which may interest some of you, Mistress has begun entertaining offers to assist in my training and use. I have passed several details to her from people on CollarSpace who have asked to use me for her to consider. She really enjoys sharing me with other people and has significantly increased the total number of sexual partners I have had whilst I have been with her.

Basically my standing orders regarding this are, if someone asks to use me I should take their age, location, email address and some detail of what they want to do with me and pass it to Mistress. If she finds their suggestion interesting she will get in contact with them and possibly arrange something. It is a combination of exciting, humiliating and terrifying for me as she decides unilaterally who I will engage in sexual activities with and what those activities will be.

Sorry this is short and sweet, I do hope to write a bit more soon but it all depends on how much time I have over the next few days and weeks.

Escalations

Escalate

I don’t know if this happens to anyone else or if it’s just me but small ideas that I have just seem to escalate into these huge crazy plans!

A few weeks ago my Mistress and I were discussing various kinks over a bottle of wine, as you do, and I mentioned that I have been having thoughts about cuckolding or rather more accurately, cuckqueaning. For those that are unaware a cuckquean is a female who’s husband or partner sleeps with other people, it is basically the female version of a cuckold.

Mistress pressed me and I ended up revealing that I liked the idea of her forcing me to watch her have sex with a man and then forcing me to clean them up afterwards but never take an active part in pleasuring them or myself. This is most certainly psychological masochism on my part because I would not enjoy seeing her with someone else especially as she is 100% bisexual and I know she enjoys straight sex and only gave it up to be with me.

I don’t often voluntarily engage is this sort of psychological torture because I have struggled with it in the past but I feel so comfortable with Miss Fiona that it is something that has started to drift into my fantasies again after a long time.

Anyway, we discussed it at the time and then it wasn’t really mentioned again until yesterday when she announced that it would be happening this weekend. An old Dom friend of her’s is in the UK for a few days and he will be coming to visit us on Saturday. We discussed it at length and she reassured me that there are no romantic feelings between them and that he will be gone after the weekend, he simply enjoys sex, likes my Miss and agreed to take part in this scene. She assured me we wouldn’t go through with it if I wasn’t happy and I could safe word out of the scene at any time and it would stop so we agreed to go ahead with it.

However, whilst discussing the details of how it would happen, again over some wine, things escalated. Miss had been hoping that the chastity belt option would win the poll, in fact she voted for it herself, as I have been reluctant to wear it due to me really disliking it immensely and for some reason she has never really pushed the point, until now. She decided that as she would be otherwise engaged she wouldn’t be able to guarantee I wasn’t pleasuring myself whilst watching her and so I would wear my belt for the whole evening. Obviously I protested this because I hate wearing the belt so now I’m wearing it all weekend.

There was one other problem, tomorrow was the day we had put aside for my punishment, the punishment you chose of 655 needles being pushed into my breasts. Mistresses hated the asymmetry of having 327 in one and 328 in the other so she decided, with a large smile on her face I might add, that she would push 327 needles into each of my tits and then find somewhere “fun” to put the last one!

BoundHonestly my breasts aren’t that big, I wear a 30-32 C bra and I’m not even certain there is enough room for that many needles. Mistress intends to bind them tightly first which will make them more of a ball shape and may create a larger surface area where it is possible to push needles in. I’m quite excited to see what it is going to look like whilst quite petrified about how its going to feel to have that many needles in them, it will definitely be a first for me. I’ve spoken to a nurse (a friend who is also in the scene) and they said it will be safe as long as the needles aren’t too large a gauge but there will likely be significant bruising so I should plan on covering up for at least a week afterwards.

I’m not exactly sure what order everything will happen in, Miss will deal with those details, but I do know that my other duties for the evening include cooking and waitressesing. It’s going to be an interesting evening to say the least, I think I am looking forward to it and fearing it in equal measure and they usually turn out to be the best scenes so overall I think I’m excited!

Viewing stats

One of the caveats I was given before I started to post again was that I am not permitted to view the stats page of the admin area of the blog, so after I looked at the stats today and admitting it to Miss Fiona when I got home from work I’m in a bit of trouble!

Miss thought it appropriate that my punishment be driven by the source of my disobedience so as such, below is a poll for you  it will stay active until this time tomorrow and then my punishment will be carried out on Wednesday.

Safe Sex

SSC

In my last post I mentioned some of the things my Mistress is training me in, some of which push the boundaries of my existing limits and someone expressed concern for my safety in the comments so I wanted to address that in this post.

I have always had a strange relationship with limits, yes I do have them despite what people might think but I really REALLY enjoy when they are pushed and broken, it’s part of who I am. That said I would only ever allow someone that I had complete trust in to go beyond those limits.

I’ve been into the BDSM scene for quite a long time now and in the past it was very much focused on the latter two letters of that acronym and if I’m perfectly honest it wasn’t always done safely and it’s only as I’ve got older that I am very much more aware of the need for things to be done safely.

To list just some of the ill-advised things I’ve done in the past:

  • Had unprotected sex with complete strangers on multiple occasions
  • Had unsterilised needles, skewers and fish hooks pierced through my flesh
  • Been left tied up for long periods when the person tying my had no idea how to bind someone safely
  • Been burnt more severely than is safe for play
  • Injected substances into my body without being fully aware if it is safe to do so

Fortunately for me I came through all of the above intact and more or less healthy but I am well aware that things could have been different and the older me is a little ashamed of the younger me for not taking better care of myself.

I’ve suffered fractured bones, infected cuts, severe bruising and more urinary infections than I can count through BDSM but despite of this I don’t regret doing anything I have done over the years, maybe only the lack of precautions I took whilst doing some of it.

My Mistress has a lot of experience in the things we are doing now and I have full trust in her ability to keep me safe whilst she expands my limits in the way that she wants to, for instance you mentioned there are health concerns with “full toilet service”? We are well aware of this and Mistress has already altered my diet and is giving me strong (and expensive!) pro-biotic supplements to improve the condition and resilience of my digestive system well in advance of beginning that activity.

As for the play partners, they may be random strangers to me but they are absolutely not strangers to my Mistress. I am precious to her and she would only loan me to someone that she trusts absolutely to take my safety into account as much as she would herself.

My eye is pretty much healed now so slapping training will be continuing soon and Mistress has also expressed to me that she will soon be giving me a week during which time she intends to torture me daily using nothing but my own orgasms. It sounds both exciting and terrifying!

Dogging week: Wednesday

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The meeting place for this night was actually quite close to where I live so I got ready and then set off shortly before the 11pm meeting time. The only thing I knew about the person I was meeting was that he was a fairly good-looking, well-built black guy (I’d been sent a picture) and that he would be in a silver BMW, as I pulled into the dark car park of the woodland area I could see the car and parked near to it.

It was quite cold when I stepped out of the car and it was painful to stand on the gravel in my bare feet. As instructed I was wearing a short black body hugging dress over some lacy black lingerie and nothing else, as instructed my keys were the only things I took with me as I approached his car walking gingerly on the gravel.

As I approached the door he climbed out of the car, he looked to be early to mid forties and was wearing jeans, Timberland type boots and a thin jumper. He was quite muscly and was carrying a black bag over his shoulder and was smiling a wide smile as he looked me over in a way that felt invasive, the first thing he said to me was “Keys”.

I handed him my car keys and then he told me to turn around, as soon as I did he wrapped his arms around me pinning my arms to my sides while he pulled me against his body. I could feel his cock growing hard against my back as he roughly fondled my breasts through my clothes, then he pulled my dress up exposing my ass (I was only wearing a thong) and gave my cheek a hard slap before saying “Walk!”.

It felt like we’d been walking in silence along the path for about ten minutes, the only interaction was the occasional hard slap of my ass until he said “stop here and turn around”. I did and saw him standing with my keys in his hand, then without turning his head he flung my keys to the side.

I watched them fly through the air for about eight meters and then disappear into the middle of a huge bush of waist-high nettles, I have to be honest in my head I said “Oh you fucking asshole” but I opened and then closed my mouth without saying anything and looked back at his grinning face, he thought it was hilarious as he motioned to turn round and said “Walk” again.

We walked for another few minutes and then a hand on my shoulder guided me left off the path and into the woods which was really tough on my feet for the next five minutes, then another hand on my shoulder stopped me by a large tree with a rope hanging from one of its branches.

The guy took a length of rope from his bag and said “hands”, I put my hands out in front of me and he wrapped the rope around them and tied it. It wasn’t a complicated or pretty knot but it was sufficient, I couldn’t get free. He told me to stand under the rope dangling from the tree and put my hands in the air, the dangling rope went around my wrist restrains and was pulled until I was just on my tip toes and then tied it off.

I have to admit I was a little scared as he tied a scarf around my head leaving me blind and totally helpless in the hands of a strange man in the middle of the woods. He wasn’t finished though, I felt cold metal against my skin and then heard the ripping as he cut and ripped my dress down the front until it fell off me, then my bra went the same way and my nipples immediately grew hard in the cool air. He grabbed the front of my thong and pulled it up really hard, the thin material pulled between my pussy lips and cut into my pussy painfully, then they pulled it away from my body, obviously in bits, leaving me naked.

I couldn’t tell if it was a whip or a twig that he hit me with but the next ten minutes were spent with him walking around me randomly swatting different parts of my body with something thin that I’d later find out left thin red welts all over me. Once he got bored with that he came up behind me and whispered “stay still for this part” in my ear and then he moved in front of me.

He grabbed one of my breasts and I felt the cold, wet tip of a marker pen on my skin. Obviously I didn’t find out until later what he had written but I’ll describe what he wrote anyway, because I know now. He drew a circle around each of my nipples and wrote “TWIST” above one and “BITE” above the other, then he wrote in large letters on my stomach “I FUCK STRANGERS BAREBACK” before writing “CUM SLUT” on the front of one thigh and “PAIN SLUT” on the front of the other.

d3d3335a1c512f21f735f7c7a63b60dbHe moved behind me and I felt him drawing something large on my back and then colouring it in. It was a huge queen of spades logo that basically covered my entire back. For those who don’t know what that is have a look here. His final decoration was to write “ANAL SLUT” across my ass cheeks, apparently he liked the word “slut”!

Once his artwork was done he went back to whipping, this time I’m sure it was a twig but a bigger one, the strikes were harder and more painful and concentrated on my ass. He gave me about twenty hard hits leaving about ten seconds between each one and by the last my ass was really sore and burning.

He was pretty strong, stood in front of me he gripped my thighs and easily lifted me off the ground and brought me down on his rock hard cock which had no problem sliding into my very wet pussy, what can I say? I’m a masochist!

Rather than thrusting himself in and out of me he fucking me by lifting me up and down, effectively massaging his cock with my pussy. I was completely helpless and was basically a passenger as he used my body to masturbate and then cum inside me before I was even close to an orgasm. That sounds like I didn’t enjoy it but I really did, I was inside my own head loving the humiliation of my body being used entirely for him to pleasure himself.

Once he was done he let go of me and disappeared for a bit, I could feel his cum running out of me and down my thigh as I stood there unable to move. I began to worry he’d left me there but then after a while I heard him approach and his hands were on me again, squeezing my sore ass and then one hand began twisting my nipple as his teeth closed around the other.

He bit down really hard and twisted the other nipple just as severely and I couldn’t do anything except let him and try to make noises to indicate it was getting too much without actually saying so. I’m sure some of you have been bitten before, it’s so painful having your nipples bitten especially when it goes past a certain point, eventually he stopped and I couldn’t help but gasp “fuuuuck” which got a loud laugh from him before his hand went between my legs. Obviously he found a swamp down there and said “like that did we?” before wiping a lot of cummy mess across my mouth.

Then followed more whipping with the twig, it was back to all over me though and he rarely hit my ass again,  most of them landed on my tits which hurt quite a lot. The worst was when one hit the nipple that he had bitten, it was already throbbing and when the twig hit it there was a burst of pain that caused one of the few yelps that escaped me that night.

Eventually the whipping ended, my body was stinging and tingling and aching all over but mainly my arms were really sore by this point, they weren’t about to get any relief though. He moved behind me again and did the reverse of before, grabbing my thighs and lifting me from behind. His cock slid into my pussy easily once again and then he pulled it out, coated in mess and positioned it against my ass.

He was quite slow as he used my weight to lower me onto his cock, the mess from my pussy provided some lubrication but I could still feel my ass stretching around his cock as he lowered me down. Everyone knows the thing about all black guys having huge cocks, I’ve no idea if that is true or not because my experience is limited but this guys was neither huge or small, it was average sized!

He must have been in good shape because once again he used my body like a fleshlight, lifting and lowering my body to fuck his cock. Fortunately for him though he didn’t last too long this time and his cock was soon twitching in my ass before he left me to hang again. He must not have had much cum left to give because nothing came out of me as I hung there waiting again.

He eventually let me down and I basically fell to the floor, my arms and legs were in bits from standing on half tiptoes and having my arms strung up for so long, those pains definitely overshadowed anything else he had done.

After a few minutes I pulled off my blindfold and looked up, he was gone. I panicked a little but then got my senses together and looked for my clothes, I found them behind the tree but when I went to pick them up I realised he’d pissed all over them. I picked them up with the tips of my fingers but realised they were useless anyway and left them as I started to walk back to the car.

I found the path and had a look up and down it to try to make sure no one was coming and then started walking along staying on the grass at the side of the path to save my feet. It was really dark but as I’d been blindfolded for a couple of hours and my night vision was quite well established.

Not quite established enough for finding keys in a patch of nettles in the dark though! It took me about twenty minutes of agonizingly wading through the nettles, searching with my feet to avoid bending down into the nettles and stinging my upper body too.

Fortunately most of them weren’t quite long enough to each my pussy so I only got a few stings on my pussy and ass but my legs were covered. When I remember getting stung by nettles as a child I remember it being more the itchiness that was the problem, but fuck they do sting when they get you,  I had tears running down my face by the time I found the keys, partially from the intense stinging all over my legs and partially from the frustrating of not being able to find the keys.

I didn’t bother to dress to drive home, I just wrapped a towel around me and drove back and then curled up in my bed in my ruined makeup and with his dried cum on my thighs.