Achievements

Achievements

So it is 2pm on Thursday 10th May 2018 and I have been a very busy girl today and wanted to share everything I have achieved so far today!

I got up at 6am when my fitness band vibrated on my wrist, no snoozing, no second alarm just straight out of bed. I bought a fitness band not to track my steps and things but simply so that I could have a silent alarm that would make me but not Mistress as I have things to do before she wakes up.

I used the toilet and then got in the shower and cleaned myself thoroughly which includes ensuring that no body hair exists anywhere and that both of my holes are washed out with water .Occasionally Mistress will push a finger deep into me and if it comes out dirty then cleaning her finger with my mouth is the least of my worries! That hasn’t happened for a long time though.

After my shower but before dressing I went to the kitchen and prepared some food. Mistresses office location means she has few options for lunch so likes to take something with her, this morning I made a couscous and pomegranate salad whilst some croissant baked in the oven and then I took a croissant and coffee up to her.

Mistress enjoys watching me get ready for work whilst she eats her breakfast. At first it made me feel very self-conscious as she watched me dry my hair and apply my makeup and then get dressed, bending over and hiding nothing. Now though it is almost like a show, I make sure I bend over at just the right angles so that my fiancé can enjoy the best views of every part of my body.

Anyway, once I was dressed she called me over to the bed and opened her legs. There were no orders given, and despite the fact that I had just done my makeup etc, my lips were on hers almost immediately and I was savouring the taste of her as my tongue circled her clit.

She came with her hand on the back of my head so that she could grind her pussy into my face and casually lifted her leg over me and headed for the shower leaving me knelt on the bed.

I brushed my messed up hair again whilst her juices dried around my mouth because I’m not permitted to wipe it off, ever, then I applied my makeup again and changed my underwear which was already soaked through. That seems like a simple thing when you’re wearing a skirt but it really isn’t because I have to wear a matching lingerie set at all times so changing my knickers means also changing my bra and garter belt. I almost didn’t bother but I do like to start the day with at least mostly dry knickers!

When Miss came out of the shower I could see I was in trouble for something, she had that look on her face and it didn’t take me long to remember that I hadn’t picked my wet towel up off the floor in the bathroom. She sat on the edge of the bed and I walked over to her, knelt and then belt over her knee in as graceful a way as possible. She said “Do you know why?” and I responded “Yes Mistress, the towel, I’m sorry” and she replied with “Ten then”.

She lifted my skirt to reveal my ass cheeks (almost all of my underwear is thongs so that my ass cheeks are almost always bare) and I counted out each severe slap of her hand. Punishment spankings are very different from play spankings, there is no warm up, no gentle swats to get me ready or roaming fingers to explore how I’m reacting to the attention, it’s ten hard and fast and then a quick hug before she let me get up so she could get ready.

After doing my hair for the third time I left the house at 7:30 and sat uncomfortably in the car on my freshly reddened ass until I arrived at work.

At 12pm, having done just over four hours of work I left the office for my lunch hour, I rarely take the full hour but I needed to today. I got into a waiting taxi that I had already ordered as per the text I had received at 11am from Mistress, I reviewed some paperwork on the ten minute taxi ride. At my destination I asked the taxi to wait for me and then went down behind some buildings and knocked on the back door of a familiar one.

I was let in by the usual person and led in silence to a small messy office in the corner of the store-room where I pulled my skirt up around my waist and knelt on the floor. The guy has quite good stamina and despite my now well practised skills in fellatio it usually takes about eight minutes before I’m swallowing his cum, this time with his hand buried in my hair.

This “service” that Mistress has me provide has turned sucking cock and swallowing cum into a sort of non-thing for me. The act itself does turn me on but only really because of how humiliating it is to be used in that way by strangers, actually sucking the cock and swallowing is almost like muscle memory now, I can think about other things while I do it and my mouth just does what it is supposed to.

After sorting my hair again and reapplying lipstick I got back into the waiting taxi and had it drop me in town. I got a sandwich and a coke to join my “snack” and took it back to the office to eat with some of my colleagues.

I wonder what the rest of the day has in store for me!

Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes Mistress arrives home and she is just plain horny. There are no complicated rules or protocols to it, it is just raw animistic lust. It’s rough, its sexy and I love it.

The other day I was vacuuming the living room and I didn’t hear her come into the house, the first (quite shocking) thing I knew of it was her grabbing a handful of my hair and yanking my head back with one hand and roughly squeezing one of my tits with the other.

She bit into my neck, and I don’t mean she kissed it roughly or sucked on it, she bit me quite hard and tightened her grip on my hair and breast. I dropped the vacuum cleaner. She used my hair to push me down to the floor and then pulled her jeans and underwear down before lying down on the floor.

It was a little awkward as she pulled me by the hair, I didn’t know where she wanted me but eventually she got me in position, on all fours over her in a 69 position. She pushed my head down and I buried it in her pussy and began licking and sucking her very wet pussy.

She pulled my skimpy knickers to the side and actually ripped the thin lace in the process and pushed two fingers roughly into my pussy, which was also wet. They immediately came out though and she forced them into my ass and replaced them with her thumb in my pussy.

She fucked my pussy and ass with that hand and rubbed my clit with another whilst I licked and sucked her pussy and she had me on the edge very quickly and I had to stop licking to beg for my orgasm because I didn’t know if I could hold it but she just slapped my ass and moaned “don’t stop!” and I continued my attentions with my mouth assuming that was a no!

It’s hard to concentrate on what you’re doing when you’re that close to an orgasm but I all my willpower to focus on pleasing her and push my own teetering orgasm to the back of my mind until eventually she moan “cuummmmmm” and pinched my clit really hard. At the same time she clamped her thighs around my head and I let my orgasm go whilst still sucking her clit between my lips and trying to fight the urge to bite down.

As our orgasms died she pulled me and I basically fell down next to her and she wrapped her arms around me. We laid there not talking for a long while, half-dressed, glistening and panting until eventually she said “You stopped licking to ask to cum???”.

She dragged me up by my hair (she loves controlling me with my hair and I have to admit I love it too) and I stumbled up the stairs after her.

The cane bit hard on my ass and thighs, ten very hard strikes with no warmup other than the amazing sex downstairs. My ass was really sore afterwards and for days afterwards, I won’t be making that mistake again….probably.

So yeah, this sort of thing isn’t a rare occurrence, when Miss wants something from me she gets it immediately and without argument!

Finger discipline

FingerDiscipline

I’ve mentioned on plenty of occasions how I believe my body betrays me at every available opportunity. To be honest I’m not entirely sure if it is my body itself or if it is my subconscious that is doing the betrayal and my body is just jumping on the band wagon or following orders, it’s hard to tell. It’s a little scary to be honest because I do think that my subconscious has a little too much control over my body.

Normal people leave bodily functions such as breathing and their heart pumping to the parts of their brain that can act without conscious thought and that is fine but I am starting to believe that my own version has slightly larger aspirations than just keeping me alive.

For those that don’t know what muscle memory is I’ll give a definition:

the ability to reproduce a particular movement without conscious thought, acquired as a result of frequent repetition of that movement.

So things like typing or driving use muscle memory heavily so that you don’t have to think about what your hands and feet are doing, you can just concentrate on what you’re writing or where you are going.

Over the past year or so Mistress has been teaching me, more like training me really, to act in the way that she wants. I relish this and take genuine pride in behaving how she expects with very little input required from her especially when I can see that it pleases her. I’ve mentioned before that she can tell me to open my legs and by the time my brain has registered what she has said my legs are already open and recently she told me why.

For months now every time she told me to open my legs (which is quite often by the way!) she has opened them for me as she said the words. Not before, not after but as she spoke the words she pulled my knees apart. I honestly didn’t notice at the time, I’ve long since become used to her touching me and moving my body and just accept it, and it never occurred to me that she was building an association in my subconscious between those words and that action.

Mistress also told me that there are other associations that she has built or is in the process of building in my brain but she refused to tell me what they are, she said it is none of my business. I’m not convinced that is technically true but anyway…

There are other things that I have learnt which are less ingrained but I still believe she has indoctrinated into me. For example if she points at the floor that is a subtle signal for me to kneel at her feet, if she points with the left hand I kneel on the left and vice versa. This sort of thing is very useful for her to assert her control in vanilla settings. At Christmas we were all at my mother’s house, Mistress sat on the sofa and subtly pointed at the floor in front of her. Despite there being several seats free I knelt by her legs much to the confusion of my mother who asked why I didn’t sit on a seat, I just replied that I liked it on the floor which fortunately she accepted without much argument.

Whilst kneeling isn’t something my body does without my input (thankfully!) there is a subconscious element to it. It’s not just following a predefined command, when I see her make that gesture I want to kneel there for her and there is a certain amount of compulsion for me to comply.

Anyway, this is all background and not the point of this post. The reason I went off on this tangent is to demonstrate that I, the neural pathways that constitute the Lois personality, cannot always be held responsible for my actions and therefore it is not my fault that I was awoken on Saturday morning by my own moans with two fingers pushed inside my dripping wet pussy!

Mistress was well and truly awake, propped up on her elbow and had been watching my unconscious masturbation for several minutes when I started to come around (pun intended!). Her first words to me that morning were “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”, which sounds mean but she did have a huge grin on her face when she said it.

I quickly pulled my hand out from under my slip but didn’t know what to do with it, my fingers were coated in juices. Mistress grabbed my hand and wiped my fingers over my face and then she jumped out of bed still holding my wrist and pulling me across it until I almost fell onto the floor out of her side.

I managed to get my feet on the floor and she pulled me around to the foot of the bed and bent me over to lean on it, I knew what was coming and in the hope of winning some favour I reached back and lifted my slip over my ass. This is Mistresses favourite punishment caning position.

In case you weren’t aware I have a bit of a masochist streak so getting whipped, cropped, paddled, flogged and caned isn’t usually an effective punishment or deterrent for me, In fact in less disciplined times I may have intentionally earned such “punishments” however they have usually started with maybe some flogging, then a few paddles and then once I’m warmed up the hot sting of the cane.

Mistresses punishment canings are somewhat different in that they begin with twenty or so full forced swats to my unprepared ass and then end. Whilst I’m usually wet when she’s finished (I refer you back to my opening statement regarding my bodies constant betrayals) they are definitely a punishment and neither the act itself nor trying to sit down at any point in the following few hours is enjoyable…….well maybe a tiny bit! Sssshhhh!

So my Saturday started with a bang, twenty bangs, but then the whole incident seemed to be forgotten. Mistress and I went to Miss Hannah’s house that evening (I may write about that later) and then had quite a relaxing Sunday. However that evening I learn the real punishment for my transgressions.

Mistress claims that this isn’t a punishment but rather an aid to assist in my training to be a better submissive and to control my “wanton sluttiness” better. Every night since Sunday at 10pm I have been locked in my chastity belt until 7am the next morning.

Apparently I have put on a little weight (although I am still within the narrow weight guidelines that Mistress has prescribed for me) because the belt feels quite tight, especially around my pussy which feels sort of “squashed” when I have the belt on. This is a custom-made, very effective chastity belt so it definitely preventing my wandering fingers in the night but it certainly doesn’t allow a comfortable sleep.

Mistress says that if I’m good I will only have to wear it a week but if “the issue” recurs then “we” might need to look at a longer term solution. She left it at that which kind of scares the crap out of me and leaves me massively turned on to be honest!

So, to you the jury, can I honestly be held responsible for the actions of my so-called subconscious? Is it really me who is culpable for the nocturnal masturbation’s of my unconscious body? Or should these charges be thrown out with prejudice?

The defence rests Your Honour.

 

Reminder

Recompense

Last week I wrote about an argument that I had with Mistress, the point being to highlight the difference between the fantasy D/s relationships you read about and the reality that while it is a different type of relationship it is still just two people living together and getting on with their lives.

The initiator for the argument, as I mentioned, was that Mistress got a drink of orange and left the bottle on the counter. It seemed like a little thing and it is, it normally wouldn’t have bothered me but I’d had a bad day and was already frustrated, I had literally just tidied up the house and was started to make dinner when it happened and I lost my temper.

In the midst of the argument (and I use that term loosely, it was more of a minor disagreement) I might have suggested that Miss was “like a man”! That is probably insulting to men in general (the ones who put things away after them anyway!) and all sorts of people but I knew as soon as I’d said it that it was a particular mistake to say it to Miss. To my surprise though it appeared I got away with it as she didn’t bring it up at all.

I should have known better. Mistress doesn’t really go on about things, she is more of a doer than a talker and at the weekend her method of rectifying my impression that she was “like a man” arrived in a large package. She let me open it and after breaking open the packaging I took out a huge “realistic” strap on dildo with harness!

StraponWhen I say this thing was huge I mean it is bigger than any other toy we own and bearing in mind that I’ve not really anything large in any hole for some time it was quite daunting!

I’ve put a picture of the thing on the left, it’s called the “King Kong” and it is nine inches long and two inches wide!

I spent most of Saturday afternoon thinking about what was going to happen that evening, as usual it had been a week of daily ruined orgasms so I was super horny by the time Saturday came round. Not least because I’d been sent to give an older guy a blow job in his car on Tuesday lunch time and had helped Mistress to orgasm three times during the week with no relief for myself.

It all happened fairly unexpectedly in the end, I was in the middle of making dinner when Mistress grabbed my hair and pulled me, struggling not to fall over, out of the kitchen and towards the stairs. I managed to turn around by ducking my head down which meant her grip on on my hair was tighter and it was being pulled but at least I could walk a little.

As I stumbled up the stairs I noticed she was wearing a top and jeans, the jeans were open at the front and the huge rubber cock was sticking out and bouncing around as she walked.

We got to our room and she pushed me onto the bed and then yanked my underwear down so hard that she ripped them and then all of a sudden she was between my legs and the tip of the cock was pushing between my lips. I have to admit I was already dripping and it was a good job because she wasn’t gentle, she pushed hard and when my little pussy struggled to take it’s girth she just started thrusting which caused the thing to penetrate me a little further each time.

As is my nature, body and mind, my pussy relented and before long she was fucking me with thing fast and hard and I was just starting to enjoy it when she pulled it out leaving my gaping pussy tensing around thin air.

Before I really had time to acknowledge my disappointment she was pulling my ass cheeks apart and pushing the head against my asshole. As we all know it’s not like my ass is new to being penetrated but it’s been fairly few and far between in recent times and this thing felt like it was tearing me in two!

The dildo is quite soft and Mistress had to wrap both of her hands around it whilst she pushed hard, my hands and mouth were full of duvet as she overpowered my ass and pushed the head inside.

She was possibly a little less forceful than she was with my pussy, which was still trying to come to terms with it’s emptiness by the way. Instead of thrusting she pushed down on my lower back and applied pressure on the dildo for a few seconds at a time, each time my ass swallowed a little more of the monster as I , literally, screamed into the duvet.

I didn’t know at the time but she waited until I’d taken all nine inches before she slowly pulled out and then did it again, and again, and again until my ass accepted it’s fate and she could thrust properly, at which point she started what must have been at least twenty minutes of unforgiving, ass destroying, deep fucking.

It’s hard to describe the pain, it’s like a burning sensation when your ass is stretched beyond what you can normally take but I do like being fucked anally so there was pleasure too as demonstrated by the mess I made on the bed!

After those twenty minutes Mistress pushed hard, burying the dildo in my ass and then released it from herself. She turned me over and pushed me further onto the bed before climbing over me until she straddled my face and my entire world was her wet pussy.

I lapped at her pussy, pushing my tongue into her and flicking it around before retracting it and running rings around her clit. After a little while of my focused attention she was cumming hard on my face which was covered in her juices.

Once she was done she moved over and laid against the headboard before pulling me by the hair until I was leaning on her with my back against her chest and sitting on the harness with the dildo still fully in my ass. Her lips found my neck and her magic fingers found my clit and it took me less than a minute before I was cumming so so hard, my ass clamping around it’s destroyer!

Mistress whispered in my ear as I came down from my orgasm “Now do you know the difference between me and a man?”.

It’s Monday today and my ass is still really sore from taking that monster dildo so deep, evening sitting is tender, an added reminder to be careful what I say!

 

Foul mouth

GirlGamer

As you seemed to like reading about my little public correction, and as I only have time to write something short, I thought you might like to read about another time when Mistress Fiona felt the need to correct my behaviour.

I very rarely swear (or “curse” if you’re in the US), I used to be quite bad with it but I learnt to express my emotions more eloquently as I grew up and started working. However, the one time when I struggle with this is when I am playing games.

To be honest I rarely have time to do this anymore but on occasion I find myself with enough time to sit down and actually turn my Xbox on.

About a month ago I was playing a game, I can’t even remember what it was now, and I was stuck on one particular part of it. I died for the thousandth time and I shouted (I distinctly remember this part!) “Fuck you mother fucking cunt!”. Approximately ten seconds later, by which time I was playing again, Mistress entered the room quietly and out of my field of vision and said “Excuse me?”.

I immediately blushed, she absolutely hates hearing me swear, she says that it is “inappropriate for someone of your intelligence” and that “if you don’t have the vocabulary to express yourself appropriately then you should hold your tongue”. I hadn’t actually known she was in the house so thought I could express my feelings about the game in any way I wanted, I was incorrect!

At first I thought I’d got away with it because she left the room and I just continued to play my game, however five minutes later she returned with a ring gag. She came up behind me and I obediently opened my mouth so she could slip it in, She knew that I knew what I was being punished for so there was no need for any explanation, she pulled the straps tight and buckled them behind my head and I heard the little padlock close in the clasp. I was going to have an achy jaw and was definitely going to be dribbling in about five minutes but all-in-all I didn’t think it was too bad of a punishment.

Then she walked round in front of me and gestured for me to pause the game, which I did and she crouched in front of me. She brought something put to my mouth and I realise just as wedged it into the ring of the gag that it was a bar of soap that she had cut so that it would fit into and stay in the gag.

For those of you that have never tasted soap, it’s not a disgusting “get it out of my mouth immediately” kind of thing but it is definitely not a pleasant taste or sensation that it creates in your mouth. She left me to continue playing my game with the soap gag in but after about five minutes my saliva was turning into bubbly soap suds and pouring down my chin, I had to stop playing and go to the kitchen to stand over the sink.

Once I’d got rid of enough soapy spit so that it wasn’t dripping everywhere I went in to the room where Mistress was reading in the hope that she would take pity on me but she merely held up her phone which had a countdown on the screen with forty-eight minutes remaining.

I spent most of that time leaning over the sink drooling soap suds and trying to keep from drooling onto my hair or my clothes. Eventually Mistress came into the kitchen and unlocked the gag, she helped me pull it from between my aching jaws and then dropped it in the sink before turning and leaving. I eagerly washed my mouth out with water and then drank some, I could still very strongly taste soap though and would for a couple of hours.

Once I’d cleaned up the gag and put it away I went back into the room where Mistress was reading, knelt in front of her and said “Thank you for teaching me Mistress”, after about a minute she put her hand on my head and pulled it until I was resting my head on her thigh and then stroked my hair while I cuddled her leg for the next hour.

Being a masochist it can be difficult for Dominants to find ways to punish me, the usual things like spankings for example are enjoyable to me and so aren’t a punishment at all. Mistress is very good at finding ways to punish me that actually work to correct any behaviour I display that she doesn’t like and whilst soaping the mouth is hardly original she did use it very effectively in this case, I am very mindful of swearing whilst playing games now because I genuinely do not want to experience that again!

Please let me know in the comments if you enjoy these sorts of posts, it is sometimes hard for me to know what to write about so it would be helpful to know what are your favourite types of my musings!

Immediate correction


One of the things that Mistress says I “let slide” whilst I was single is my discipline towards my Dominants and it is something she has concentrated training on. Usually this comes in the form of what she terms “immediate correction” although that can come in many forms, for example humiliation or…pain. 

A couple of weeks ago I was out shopping with Mistress, we were in a well known (in the UK) high street shop and She was looking at some clothes. I honestly can’t remember what I said to her now but it was some off-hand sarcastic comment at her expense. This is part of my personality, I can be very “cheeky” and often use sarcasm especially with my friends. I have to mentally keep this in check when speaking to Mistress especially when in public as she considers it highly inappropriate for me not to speak to her respectfully in public. 

I knew I’d slipped up as soon as I spoke, her demener changed from casually browsing clothes to focussing directly on me, she walked over and said “What did you say?”, I blushed and looked at my feet but she pushed my chin up with her finger and I repeated what I’d said. She told me to spread my legs which I did despite being conscious of other people being close to us, although the clothes racks hid us well. As I spread my legs slipped my skirt up a little and then with no warning kneed me in the pussy.

The combination of the unexpectedness of it and the pain buckled my knees and I basically fell into Mistress clutching my pussy with one hand, she hugged me and held me tight and stroked my hair for at least a couple of minutes until I was ready. She asked if I was ok and I nodded so she let me go and continued shopping, nothing more was said but my pussy throbbed for the rest of the shopping trip and I was respectful every time I spoke to Mistress. 

Thoughts for the day

I went to bed last night quite happy despite having posted a fully naked picture of myself online and having only eaten porridge and drank water for every meal that day. Posting a picture of myself was a huge deal for me as anyone who reads my blog will know but it got a generally good response which buoyed my feelings on it.

I won’t up in a less good mood, I drink a lot of caffeine, possibly too much, and after drinking only water all day yesterday I was hit with the caffeine withdrawal this morning and had a bad headache. I dutifully had my horribly bland and mushy porridge and started working and then my day got even worse.

My heart absolutely sank when I saw the messages accusing me of posting a fake picture. I’ve spent years writing on this blog and posting on Tumblr and have built up, I think, some good credibility that I am who I say I am and do the things I say I do, all without posting pictures of myself. So when I finally do and that is what causes people to question my legitimacy it really hurt me feelings, I was really quite upset.

Having calmed down a bit about it I can see what people mean about the picture, there is a part of my shoulder missing and there is fuzziness around my head where the photos were edited out by Mistresses friend. It didn’t show up so much on my phone but when I looked at it blown up on a computer it was more noticeable, if I’d known I wouldn’t have posted it.

I hope Mistresses post from earlier today alleviates any fears that I’ve been deceiving you for all these years, because I would be devastated if this caused people to stop believing in me, I really would.

In other news, I HATE porridge! I only get to make it with porridge oats and hot water, nothing else and its disgustingly bland and ugh, I hate you all for putting me through this!