Christmas & New Year

Christmas.jpg

I always go home to my mum’s house for Christmas and the only difference this year is that I travelled with my sister, for those that aren’t aware my sister had some trouble in her life and ended up moving in with me earlier in the year so it made sense to go home together.

In previous years I’ve entertained myself by getting people online to set little tasks for me. For example one year I was told to wear a short skirt and to remove my underwear and masturbate with a bullet vibe until I came, all whilst still in my seat. Fortunately no one sat next to me and I was able to put a large coat over my legs so that I could discreetly remove my thong (still very difficult in a train seat!) and slide my hand and vibe up my skirt. It sounds easy but cumming without looking like you’re cumming is incredibly difficult!

Another year, in fact I think this was last year, I knelt on the piss soaked floor of the train toilet and thoroughly cleaned the toilet bowl (inside and outside) with my tongue whilst a butterfly vibe buzzed against my pussy. I think when people tell you to do that or read about it they don’t actually realise how much strength and self control a submissive has to have to force themselves to do that, to lick a strangers piss and pubic hair off a public toilet and swallow it.

Anyway, Christmas was really good and relaxing and I had a lovely time with my family. However during the time between my days in the room and Christmas I’d become really close with Miss Fiona, we’d spent a lot of our time together and things between us had really started to build up fast. So the time apart from her felt really strange and that’s when I started to realise how strong my feelings for her had become.

I really think it happened during the week in the room, no one has ever done anything like that for me before and the amount of love I felt from her at the end of it really affected me. We spoke for over two hours on the phone on Christmas day (much to the amusement of my mother and sister) and we arranged to have “our Christmas” on the 28th.

I bought her a few nice vanilla presents and a couple of less vanilla ones, she bought me a personal shopper experience in the Angel Suite at Victoria’s Secret in London with a very generous budget! It’s an amazing gift and the only caveat is that she has to come with me and will have final say on what I buy, I can live with that!

After the present giving she sat me down (on the sofa, I’m usually on the floor!) with a glass of wine and told me that she had been thinking about it a lot, especially over Christmas and that she wanted to officially collar me. I’ve had this conversation before (obviously) and it’s always a strange one because despite the dynamic you are already in this conversation has to be had on an equal footing.

negotiation

If you’re thinking about the contract negotiation scene from fifty shades (haha) then don’t, it wasn’t in any way like that! We discussed what we would expect from each other and sort of agreed terms, but not like a negotiation, more like two people talking about what they want from a relationship and making sure they both understand where they stand in it.

It was a really good conversation and I think it helped us both put our doubts and concerns about each other to rest. Once all that was out of the way Miss Fiona quite excitedly told me that she wanted to have a collaring ceremony! Nothing crazy just some of our friends coming round for a dinner party with my formal “Collaring” taking place during the evening.

This is something I’ve never really done, not so formally anyway. It sounded like fun though so the date was set for New Years Ever, in attendance would be Miss Hannah and her sub, Sir Davis and his sub Sophie (you don’t know about these two yet but you will when the relevant post goes out, Sophie is the girl I taught lesbian sex to!) and Miss Fiona and myself. Miss Fiona would host the event at her house and arrange everything.

I’m going to write about the events of that evening in my next “non-sex” post next week, I’m hoping by making these posts shorter but more frequent I can keep up the increased post rate that I promised!

Thank you to all the new people who have followed my blog recently, it really makes it worthwhile when I look at the stats and see that people are actually reading this stuff, and thank you for the comments as well, I love reading them and replying so keep them coming.

If you are on twitter I’ve started doing that a bit more, my username is @painslutlois, and if you like tumblr then I also have a blog on there where I mainly repost things that I like and sometimes post a picture of myself!

My viginity

virginity

I’ve been asked so many times how I lost my virginity that I thought I might as well just post the story here.

I was sixteen at the time, some people think that is quite young, others quite old, I guess it depends on your perspective but for me it wasn’t a decision, it was just when it happened.

I was single and at a house party after finishing high school, in the UK high school only lasts until you are 16 and then you have the option of going on to further education at sixth form (aka college) before going on to University. Pretty much everyone from my school year were at the party as well as some older people I didn’t recognise from other schools and after a few drinks (tequila I think) I got talking to one of the older guys.

He seemed nice and after a while, both drunk, we ended up in one of the bedrooms, he locked the door to give us some privacy and then we were kissed and both our hands started to wander as we lay back on the bed.

I didn’t think much of it when he pulled my hands above my head and gripped both my wrists in one of his hands, his other was pushing under my bra roughly fondling my breasts and then under my short skirt rubbing my pussy through my underwear.

It felt good and I wasn’t worried until I tried to free my hands so I could touch him too, he gripped my wrists tighter and shifted his body weight so I was pinned down, he was much bigger than me and I couldn’t move or get away. He pulled my knickers to the side exposing my pussy and rubbing his fingers up and down between my lips.

Looking down I could see he had he jeans pulled down and his cock was out, fully erect and he was moving himself between my spread legs. My underwear was pushed to the side from when he’d been fingering me so he didn’t have any trouble pushing the head of his cock against my opening with one hand still holding my hands and the other squeezing my tits.

I remember being surprised at how easily he pushed his cock into me but it was also really painful and my eyes welled up as I felt my hymen tear and then the fullness inside me before he began to roughly thrust.

He didn’t last long, I was tight and probably felt pretty good to him as he rammed into me over and over until I felt him twitch and heard him grunt as he came inside me. He let go of me then, kneeling up and zipping his jeans back up while I just lay there on the bed with my pushed up so my breasts and pussy were on display. He kissed me and then said he was going to get us a drink and left the room.

I lay there for five minutes before I realised he wasn’t coming back, my pussy was really sore and I venture down there with my fingers to check if there was any damage. It was a swamp of his cum, my juice and blood and without thinking I started to rub my clit using the mess for lube. My other hand moved to my tit and started to pinch and twist my nipple as I brought my self quickly to climax.

Once I’d straightened myself out I walked back downstairs, my pussy felt swollen and sore between my legs and I could feel the mess leaking into my knickers, the guy and all his friends had left the party and I never found out who he was, I didn’t tell anyone about what happened but I think that was the start of making me who I am today.

Of course all that is nonsense! The story of how I lost my virginity isn’t anywhere near as interesting as that, I was at a party after leaving school and had a drunken fumble with a guy from one of my classes, he was just as inexperienced as me but at least he got to cum in the ten minutes it lasted, like most girls for me it was very disappointing but that wouldn’t have made a great post!

I actually don’t believe those events or anything else had any impact on my sexual preferences or my submissive nature and it really frustrates me that popular media feels the need to portray people who are into BDSM as somehow broken or only into it due to some kind of trauma in their life.

Party treats

I completed my first dice task at the weekend and have started the write up of it, I promise to have it online by this weekend. I also promise to try and update you more often, even if it is just small “on the train” updates like this one.

Next week I expect to have some interesting to write about, although it may not be to every bodies taste (that’s a pun, you’ll get it later!). In fact parts of it will very likely not be to my taste either but I wasn’t really given a choice in the matter.

For some time Mistress and her friend, another Domme have been trying to organise a BDSM party and it has finally come to fruition. The party will be held at a rented farm house which is out on its own (no one to hear us scream!) but is not too far away from civilisation.

The guests have been carefully selected (Mistress assures me that no one will know me) from their collective friends and acquaintances within the community. There will be 20-25 people there comprised of Dommes, Doms, subs and slaves so it should be a really interesting party. It is the first time I have been to a large BDSM event in a very long time so I am quite nervous about it really.

I had expected to be at Mistresses side at the party but on Tuesday She explained that I would have a “job” instead. My job with be “Bathroom Attendant” and my duties will be to provide any assistance the guests require in the bathroom, a fairly vague remit!

I have performed a similar role at a party before where i was a “human toilet” for the evening but that was a very long time ago and i have to say i am not entirely sure that i am looking forward to it this time!

Mistresses friend’s sub got into serious trouble recently, I’m not entirely sure what for but I know that she almost lost her collar over it and is currently being punished indefinitely. It was planned that she would be a waitress at the party but now, as part of her punishment she is going to be a “living statue”.

I’m not sure of the specifics but Mistress told me that she is going to be blindfolded, gagged and wear ear plugs and will then be tied into a tight Shibari tie and placed on a table in the middle of the main room for the duration of the party.

After Mistress told me about that I was glad I got the bathroom job I think. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be in the middle of a room full of people in total sensory deprivation, I think it would drive me crazy! I’ll try and find out what she did if I get chance to speak to her.

I have been worried and excited about this party for a couple of months ever since Mistress first mentioned it. Worried because it is the most exposure I have had of this side of my life since I left London and excited because, well, it is the most exposure I have had since leaving London! I was expecting Mistress to show me off though so I’m a little disappointed at being stuck away from the main party 😦

I shall let you know how it all goes!