Time to come back?

The last time I wrote a proper post I was about to get married and now we’ve just celebrated our two year anniversary!

And what a strange time it’s been! Fingers crossed we’re nearly done with it though, I’ve had one jab and it won’t be too long before I have my second one.

I’ve been thinking for a while that I’d quite like to get back to writing again, I’ve got no idea if anyone really looks here anymore or if it would be “successful” but I always found writing this blog fairly cathartic and very much enjoyed the back and forth in the comments and I miss that.

I was talking to a friend the other day (Slave Mila) and she encouraged me to get back into it and I told her about a little funny story that we thought might make a good post.

A few weeks ago I was reading a book when Mistress came into the room and told me to get up and follow her. I did and she lead me to the cupboard under the stairs and told me to get into the cupboard and stay there until morning!

I was kind of shocked, I wasn’t aware of having done anything to deserve a punishment but decided that rather than questioning it (and potentially getting myself in more trouble) I’d just go with it.

This cupboard is basically a dumping ground of stuff and all the floor space in it taken up with…well, stuff. I managed to get in and she immediately closed the door putting me into pitch darkness.

I just stood there for a few minutes kind of bewildered and then I tried to move some things around so I could at least sit down (I sat on a cardboard box which I later found out held a spare water thing for the coffee machine, and high I broke).

Time rolled on and I started to realise this Miss wasn’t coming back for me and I made some more space resigning myself to sleeping in the hot and cramped space.

I slept curled around the recycling bin with my head a bunch of carrier bags for a pillow (not my best idea, noisiest pillow ever!) and eventually in the morning the door opened and I found a cup of coffee writhing for me as I crawled out on all fours squinting at the bright light. I’d been in the cupboard for nearly twelve hours.

Mistress watched me crawl out from the breakfast bar with a wicked smile on her face and I joined her there. She enquired “sleep well?” and I replied “yes fine thanks, you?” (I don’t always like to give her the satisfaction!) and she just smiled.

Once I’d finished my coffee I ask “Are you going to tell me why you put me in the cupboard?”. Her reply was “No real reason, I was bored. I thought you’d come out to ask why and then I’d let you off but you didn’t so I just let you stay there.”

I realised that I hadn’t really thought about or worried about what I’d done to end up in the predicament, I’d just got on with it. I was kind of pleased with myself for that, also furious with Mistress!

This is a perfect example of how she loves to mess with me, she is the queen of the mind fuck and while I don’t always enjoy it at the time, it certainly keeps things interesting between us!

I hope you enjoyed this little insight into our married lives together tame though this tale may be. I’d love to hear from people in the comments and I’ll try and write some more soon x

Immediate correction


One of the things that Mistress says I “let slide” whilst I was single is my discipline towards my Dominants and it is something she has concentrated training on. Usually this comes in the form of what she terms “immediate correction” although that can come in many forms, for example humiliation or…pain. 

A couple of weeks ago I was out shopping with Mistress, we were in a well known (in the UK) high street shop and She was looking at some clothes. I honestly can’t remember what I said to her now but it was some off-hand sarcastic comment at her expense. This is part of my personality, I can be very “cheeky” and often use sarcasm especially with my friends. I have to mentally keep this in check when speaking to Mistress especially when in public as she considers it highly inappropriate for me not to speak to her respectfully in public. 

I knew I’d slipped up as soon as I spoke, her demener changed from casually browsing clothes to focussing directly on me, she walked over and said “What did you say?”, I blushed and looked at my feet but she pushed my chin up with her finger and I repeated what I’d said. She told me to spread my legs which I did despite being conscious of other people being close to us, although the clothes racks hid us well. As I spread my legs slipped my skirt up a little and then with no warning kneed me in the pussy.

The combination of the unexpectedness of it and the pain buckled my knees and I basically fell into Mistress clutching my pussy with one hand, she hugged me and held me tight and stroked my hair for at least a couple of minutes until I was ready. She asked if I was ok and I nodded so she let me go and continued shopping, nothing more was said but my pussy throbbed for the rest of the shopping trip and I was respectful every time I spoke to Mistress. 

Standards of dress

StandardOfDress

If you read my last post, maybe even voted in the poll there, you will know that the views of this post will determine how many needles Miss Fiona will be pushing into my breasts as punishment for looking at my WordPress stats, you guys are mean! In hindsight I should have made it “unique visitors” rather than views but I guess it’s too late for that now.

A few people have asked me, now that I am a domestic servant as well as a sexual submissive, whether I have a uniform for when I’m cleaning and things. I’m sure most people are thinking something along the lines of a french maid outfit?! Well the simple answer is no, I don’t have any uniforms and in fact dressing up and role play of that fashion isn’t something that interests me or more important Mistress.

The parts of our relationship that made me a maid, cook, cleaner etc are a fairly mundane part of it for both of us, less so for her because it amuses her to sit around while I clean up around her. The main goal of it, I believe, is to reinforce my place in our relationship and to relieve her of having to do things that need doing but she doesn’t want to do.

The long answer is a little more complicated because whilst I don’t have a uniform per-se I do have to abide by Miss Fiona’s “Standards of Dress” for her submissive. That sounds like there is some formal document that describes exactly how I should dress but that isn’t the case, in fact the whole concept is what the solicitor in me would call very “fluffy” because it is very open to interpretation. I’m not sure if that is intentional in order to give me a little freedom in what I wear or to give me the proverbial rope to hang myself with.

That said, there are some hard and fast rules to live by regarding underwear:71uiPKxasML._UY445_

  • All underwear must be lingerie
    It might surprise some of you that I’m not actually allowed to go without underwear unless specifically told to. I’m not allowed to even own “normal” underwear.
  • Bra and knickers (aka panties!) must be a matching set
    Or at the very least they should be coordinated enough to look like a set.
  • Stockings should always be worn instead of tights (pantyhose)
    And they should always be worn with a garter belt (that matches my underwear), they should never hold ups.

Basically the overriding theme of the above is that at any point in any day I should be able to take off my outer clothes and look sexy, even on my period. It’s a lot more work than you think to be mindful of how you would look in your underwear all of the time, at work, at the gym or when sitting on a train for hours going to visit my mum.

When I’m at work obviously I need to look professional but at the same time Mistress wants me to look…well the way she put it was “girly”. So all of my suits are now skirt suits, no more pant suits and all are fitted. Any suits that were loose-fitting I had to either get altered or give away. The same goes for the blouses that I wear with the suits, anything baggy went to a charity shop, all my work clothes are now fairly tight-fitting and “show off my body”.

Speaking of my body, as an aside, Mistress is now closely monitoring and controlling my weight now. I say closely, she doesn’t go to the level of telling me what to eat put she has decided what weight I should be for my body to be the right size and “curviness” that she likes and let me tell you, it’s a fairly specific range of only two pounds and deviating above or below it earns me an unpleasant punishment whereby she does tell me what to eat and it’s definitely not what I want.

Anyway, when I’m out but not at work I’m allowed to wear what I want as long as 1) I’m wearing lingerie underneath and 2) I look attractive, girly and not in any way scruffy. To be honest I never really looked scruffy when I went out before but in the same vein of honesty I definitely slummed about at home in worn out pyjamas or even naked, when my sister was out.

The basic guideline for every day clothing is that it should be body hugging so I can wear jeans, tops, jumpers, whatever as long as it looks nice and shows off my body which isn’t a lot different to how I would have dressed anyway, the only real difference being that floaty bohemian type dresses and oversized jumpers and tops are out.

nakd_slip_lingerie_dress_1013-000075-0002-4282In bed I wear a slip, for those who don’t know what that is one of the ones I have is pictured to the left, it’s basically a lingerie version of a nightie. The only issue I’ve come across with this rule is when I stayed at my mum’s for a few days and bumped into her on the way to the bathroom just before bed. She though I was, and I quote, “a bit overdressed for sleeping at home”.

The times that I don’t dress like this at night are when I am not actually sleeping in bed. Since I moved in with Mistress I’ve slept on the floor, in the cage, outside (in the rain) and in all those cases I wasn’t allowed to wear clothes at all.

The reason I slept outside is because Mistress is a duvet hogger, one night about an hour after we went to bed I woke up cold because once again Mistress had rolled over and pulled the duvet off me completely. I was a little perturbed by this so I yanked it back flipping Mistress over in the process. She was not at all impressed with that rude awakening and pulled me out of bed by my hair and walked me to the back door, then demanded my slip before pushing me out of the door, locking it and going back to bed.

In fact, the only time I can truly just wear what I want without having to think whether Mistress would be satisfied with my choice is when I am in the shower in just my birthday suit.

I hope this post isn’t too boring, I always wonder when I write more informative pieces about my day-to-day life rather than the more erotic sexual stuff whether anyone actually cares how I am supposed to dress or if they are just waiting for me to talk about things like how Miss Fiona ruined my favourite sex toy for me by torturing me with it for hours on end (spoiler for my next post there!).

Addendum:

Marc asked about shoes in the comments so I thought I’d add a bit about that. The answer is basically “heels”! I’m not allowed to wear flat shoes except for one exception, when I’m at the gym. I can wear my trainers (sneakers?) at the gym and am generally allowed to be barefoot at home but if I’m out it’s always heels. The good part about that is that I was “forced” to go out and buy a load of new shoes so that I had heeled shoes for every occasion, work, evening and casual. It was a hard job but what choice did I have!?

Viewing stats

One of the caveats I was given before I started to post again was that I am not permitted to view the stats page of the admin area of the blog, so after I looked at the stats today and admitting it to Miss Fiona when I got home from work I’m in a bit of trouble!

Miss thought it appropriate that my punishment be driven by the source of my disobedience so as such, below is a poll for you  it will stay active until this time tomorrow and then my punishment will be carried out on Wednesday.

Safe Sex

SSC

In my last post I mentioned some of the things my Mistress is training me in, some of which push the boundaries of my existing limits and someone expressed concern for my safety in the comments so I wanted to address that in this post.

I have always had a strange relationship with limits, yes I do have them despite what people might think but I really REALLY enjoy when they are pushed and broken, it’s part of who I am. That said I would only ever allow someone that I had complete trust in to go beyond those limits.

I’ve been into the BDSM scene for quite a long time now and in the past it was very much focused on the latter two letters of that acronym and if I’m perfectly honest it wasn’t always done safely and it’s only as I’ve got older that I am very much more aware of the need for things to be done safely.

To list just some of the ill-advised things I’ve done in the past:

  • Had unprotected sex with complete strangers on multiple occasions
  • Had unsterilised needles, skewers and fish hooks pierced through my flesh
  • Been left tied up for long periods when the person tying my had no idea how to bind someone safely
  • Been burnt more severely than is safe for play
  • Injected substances into my body without being fully aware if it is safe to do so

Fortunately for me I came through all of the above intact and more or less healthy but I am well aware that things could have been different and the older me is a little ashamed of the younger me for not taking better care of myself.

I’ve suffered fractured bones, infected cuts, severe bruising and more urinary infections than I can count through BDSM but despite of this I don’t regret doing anything I have done over the years, maybe only the lack of precautions I took whilst doing some of it.

My Mistress has a lot of experience in the things we are doing now and I have full trust in her ability to keep me safe whilst she expands my limits in the way that she wants to, for instance you mentioned there are health concerns with “full toilet service”? We are well aware of this and Mistress has already altered my diet and is giving me strong (and expensive!) pro-biotic supplements to improve the condition and resilience of my digestive system well in advance of beginning that activity.

As for the play partners, they may be random strangers to me but they are absolutely not strangers to my Mistress. I am precious to her and she would only loan me to someone that she trusts absolutely to take my safety into account as much as she would herself.

My eye is pretty much healed now so slapping training will be continuing soon and Mistress has also expressed to me that she will soon be giving me a week during which time she intends to torture me daily using nothing but my own orgasms. It sounds both exciting and terrifying!

Dogging week: Wednesday

3

The meeting place for this night was actually quite close to where I live so I got ready and then set off shortly before the 11pm meeting time. The only thing I knew about the person I was meeting was that he was a fairly good-looking, well-built black guy (I’d been sent a picture) and that he would be in a silver BMW, as I pulled into the dark car park of the woodland area I could see the car and parked near to it.

It was quite cold when I stepped out of the car and it was painful to stand on the gravel in my bare feet. As instructed I was wearing a short black body hugging dress over some lacy black lingerie and nothing else, as instructed my keys were the only things I took with me as I approached his car walking gingerly on the gravel.

As I approached the door he climbed out of the car, he looked to be early to mid forties and was wearing jeans, Timberland type boots and a thin jumper. He was quite muscly and was carrying a black bag over his shoulder and was smiling a wide smile as he looked me over in a way that felt invasive, the first thing he said to me was “Keys”.

I handed him my car keys and then he told me to turn around, as soon as I did he wrapped his arms around me pinning my arms to my sides while he pulled me against his body. I could feel his cock growing hard against my back as he roughly fondled my breasts through my clothes, then he pulled my dress up exposing my ass (I was only wearing a thong) and gave my cheek a hard slap before saying “Walk!”.

It felt like we’d been walking in silence along the path for about ten minutes, the only interaction was the occasional hard slap of my ass until he said “stop here and turn around”. I did and saw him standing with my keys in his hand, then without turning his head he flung my keys to the side.

I watched them fly through the air for about eight meters and then disappear into the middle of a huge bush of waist-high nettles, I have to be honest in my head I said “Oh you fucking asshole” but I opened and then closed my mouth without saying anything and looked back at his grinning face, he thought it was hilarious as he motioned to turn round and said “Walk” again.

We walked for another few minutes and then a hand on my shoulder guided me left off the path and into the woods which was really tough on my feet for the next five minutes, then another hand on my shoulder stopped me by a large tree with a rope hanging from one of its branches.

The guy took a length of rope from his bag and said “hands”, I put my hands out in front of me and he wrapped the rope around them and tied it. It wasn’t a complicated or pretty knot but it was sufficient, I couldn’t get free. He told me to stand under the rope dangling from the tree and put my hands in the air, the dangling rope went around my wrist restrains and was pulled until I was just on my tip toes and then tied it off.

I have to admit I was a little scared as he tied a scarf around my head leaving me blind and totally helpless in the hands of a strange man in the middle of the woods. He wasn’t finished though, I felt cold metal against my skin and then heard the ripping as he cut and ripped my dress down the front until it fell off me, then my bra went the same way and my nipples immediately grew hard in the cool air. He grabbed the front of my thong and pulled it up really hard, the thin material pulled between my pussy lips and cut into my pussy painfully, then they pulled it away from my body, obviously in bits, leaving me naked.

I couldn’t tell if it was a whip or a twig that he hit me with but the next ten minutes were spent with him walking around me randomly swatting different parts of my body with something thin that I’d later find out left thin red welts all over me. Once he got bored with that he came up behind me and whispered “stay still for this part” in my ear and then he moved in front of me.

He grabbed one of my breasts and I felt the cold, wet tip of a marker pen on my skin. Obviously I didn’t find out until later what he had written but I’ll describe what he wrote anyway, because I know now. He drew a circle around each of my nipples and wrote “TWIST” above one and “BITE” above the other, then he wrote in large letters on my stomach “I FUCK STRANGERS BAREBACK” before writing “CUM SLUT” on the front of one thigh and “PAIN SLUT” on the front of the other.

d3d3335a1c512f21f735f7c7a63b60dbHe moved behind me and I felt him drawing something large on my back and then colouring it in. It was a huge queen of spades logo that basically covered my entire back. For those who don’t know what that is have a look here. His final decoration was to write “ANAL SLUT” across my ass cheeks, apparently he liked the word “slut”!

Once his artwork was done he went back to whipping, this time I’m sure it was a twig but a bigger one, the strikes were harder and more painful and concentrated on my ass. He gave me about twenty hard hits leaving about ten seconds between each one and by the last my ass was really sore and burning.

He was pretty strong, stood in front of me he gripped my thighs and easily lifted me off the ground and brought me down on his rock hard cock which had no problem sliding into my very wet pussy, what can I say? I’m a masochist!

Rather than thrusting himself in and out of me he fucking me by lifting me up and down, effectively massaging his cock with my pussy. I was completely helpless and was basically a passenger as he used my body to masturbate and then cum inside me before I was even close to an orgasm. That sounds like I didn’t enjoy it but I really did, I was inside my own head loving the humiliation of my body being used entirely for him to pleasure himself.

Once he was done he let go of me and disappeared for a bit, I could feel his cum running out of me and down my thigh as I stood there unable to move. I began to worry he’d left me there but then after a while I heard him approach and his hands were on me again, squeezing my sore ass and then one hand began twisting my nipple as his teeth closed around the other.

He bit down really hard and twisted the other nipple just as severely and I couldn’t do anything except let him and try to make noises to indicate it was getting too much without actually saying so. I’m sure some of you have been bitten before, it’s so painful having your nipples bitten especially when it goes past a certain point, eventually he stopped and I couldn’t help but gasp “fuuuuck” which got a loud laugh from him before his hand went between my legs. Obviously he found a swamp down there and said “like that did we?” before wiping a lot of cummy mess across my mouth.

Then followed more whipping with the twig, it was back to all over me though and he rarely hit my ass again,  most of them landed on my tits which hurt quite a lot. The worst was when one hit the nipple that he had bitten, it was already throbbing and when the twig hit it there was a burst of pain that caused one of the few yelps that escaped me that night.

Eventually the whipping ended, my body was stinging and tingling and aching all over but mainly my arms were really sore by this point, they weren’t about to get any relief though. He moved behind me again and did the reverse of before, grabbing my thighs and lifting me from behind. His cock slid into my pussy easily once again and then he pulled it out, coated in mess and positioned it against my ass.

He was quite slow as he used my weight to lower me onto his cock, the mess from my pussy provided some lubrication but I could still feel my ass stretching around his cock as he lowered me down. Everyone knows the thing about all black guys having huge cocks, I’ve no idea if that is true or not because my experience is limited but this guys was neither huge or small, it was average sized!

He must have been in good shape because once again he used my body like a fleshlight, lifting and lowering my body to fuck his cock. Fortunately for him though he didn’t last too long this time and his cock was soon twitching in my ass before he left me to hang again. He must not have had much cum left to give because nothing came out of me as I hung there waiting again.

He eventually let me down and I basically fell to the floor, my arms and legs were in bits from standing on half tiptoes and having my arms strung up for so long, those pains definitely overshadowed anything else he had done.

After a few minutes I pulled off my blindfold and looked up, he was gone. I panicked a little but then got my senses together and looked for my clothes, I found them behind the tree but when I went to pick them up I realised he’d pissed all over them. I picked them up with the tips of my fingers but realised they were useless anyway and left them as I started to walk back to the car.

I found the path and had a look up and down it to try to make sure no one was coming and then started walking along staying on the grass at the side of the path to save my feet. It was really dark but as I’d been blindfolded for a couple of hours and my night vision was quite well established.

Not quite established enough for finding keys in a patch of nettles in the dark though! It took me about twenty minutes of agonizingly wading through the nettles, searching with my feet to avoid bending down into the nettles and stinging my upper body too.

Fortunately most of them weren’t quite long enough to each my pussy so I only got a few stings on my pussy and ass but my legs were covered. When I remember getting stung by nettles as a child I remember it being more the itchiness that was the problem, but fuck they do sting when they get you,  I had tears running down my face by the time I found the keys, partially from the intense stinging all over my legs and partially from the frustrating of not being able to find the keys.

I didn’t bother to dress to drive home, I just wrapped a towel around me and drove back and then curled up in my bed in my ruined makeup and with his dried cum on my thighs.

The Room

6

Many many things happened with me in the last month, some good, some bad but they culminated in me having a really good and positive start to the new year.

Back at the beginning of December I was starting to feel quite unwell, I was having dizzy spells and had fainted a few times including once at work. Then one day my vision started to go blurry and Miss Fiona insisted that I went to see a doctor.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had these symptoms though, a few years ago I went through all of the same things and the cause was essentially stress. At the time I was having personal problems and was under a huge amount of pressure at work though and things weren’t particularly bad this time so I was a little worried if I’m honest.

Miss Fiona made an appointment for me and when I arrived at the doctors she was there waiting to go in with me. At this point our relationship hadn’t really gone that far and this felt a little pushy to me but looking back now it was the start of things getting really good between us. After Miss Fiona had ensured I’d disclosed every tiny detail of the past few weeks the doctor said that I had “Acute Fatigue with a level of Stress” and signed me off work for a week.

It wasn’t actually very convenient to be off work that week, in fact it was impossible so I spoke with one of the partners and agreed to take the following week off as leave rather than being signed off.

As it turned out Miss Fiona had some ideas about how to help me relax and recuperate during my week off, she refused to tell me what they were and instead asked me to submit to her 24/7 for the week. I would stay at her house from Sunday to Saturday and must follow the rules that she set for me.

I was a little dubious about this, as I mentioned we’d had a few dates and were getting on well but our relationship was progressing quite slowly by design and it was a big leap to go from that to something 24/7 especially when I didn’t really know what would be involved. That said I was really starting to harbor strong feelings for her so in the end I agreed to her terms.

On the Saturday Miss Fiona had arranged and paid for me to have colonic hydrotherapy (aka colonic irrigation) which is something I’ve never done. Weirdly considering I’ve had many enema’s I was nervous and more than a little embarrassed by this but the girls there were really nice and talked me through it all. It was an interesting and quite satisfying experience.

collarI arrived at her house at midday on the Sunday and as soon as I was in the door with my suitcase full of clothes and makeup etc she told me I wouldn’t be needing any clothes because I was going to be naked for the entire week apart from the leather collar that she then produced. It had two chains running from a D-ring in the front, each of which had a matching leather cuff on the end.  Whilst still stood just inside the (thankfully closed) front door she had me strip and then turn and kneel so she could fasten the collar around my neck and lock it, then I stood again so she could fasten and lock the cuffs to my wrists.

She held my wrists and pulled my arms straight, only I couldn’t straighten them properly because of the chain and I realised the chains were just long enough to prevent me reaching my pussy. She saw the realisation hit me and grinning before turning and saying “Come”.

She led me upstairs and into her spare bedroom, past the double bed which was covered in a pile of clothes, and into her walk in wardrobe which was empty. It is basically a small room with a solid wooden door and a small window that overlooks her spacious garden. It has rails along both sides of it but all the clothes had been removed and the only thing in the room was a cat’s litter tray, a small inflatable bed and a bottle of water and a glass. After she had explained everything to me whilst I knelt on the floor she closed the door.

These were the my rules for the week:

  • I was not to leave the room without Miss Fiona (the door wasn’t locked)
  • I was not allowed to pleasure myself in any way (the chains were there to help)
  • I had to finished the 2l bottle of water every day (it was replaced each morning)
  • I had to eat whatever food was left for me
  • The litter tray was for me to pee in
  • I would be allowed 30 minutes bathroom time each day
  • We would eat an evening meal together but we could not talk about the arrangements or rules until the following Saturday unless it was urgent

That first day I was really regretting agreeing to the arrangement, within minutes I was bored and after a couple of hours I was getting sorely tempted to open the door. I’d find out later that Miss Fiona had been sat on the other side of the door the whole time waiting to see how I would react.

After a while, I’d lost track of how long, the door opened and she led me downstairs and into the kitchen where she had prepared us a meal. The food was very healthy and I later found out that my diet for the week had been carefully selected with advice from the clinic where I got the colonic. We talked about various things, she makes me laugh a lot which I like and whilst our dynamic is always present she doesn’t make me feel in any way inferior to her, it’s hard to describe but in my opinion it is the perfect way to be dominant.As soon as we’d finished she asked if I needed the bathroom, I didn’t so she lead me back to the room and the door was closed again.

She has smart lights in her house and the closet light is on a motion sensor so that it turns on when you walk in, however I’d find that it was also on a timer so at 9:30 it stopped turning on and there was only the dim ambient light from the window to see by, not that there was anything to see. The bed was surprisingly comfy once I found a position where the chains weren’t under me and I fell asleep shortly after the lights went off which is very early for me.

I only woke up when the door opened the next morning, it was the best sleep I’d had for months. The collar and chains stayed on whilst I used the toilet and had a shower, I dried myself and brushed my hair (I wasn’t allowed to dry it) whilst Miss Fiona showered and then she had me blow dry and brush her hair for her. It was nice to do such a simple task and not have to worry about getting ready for work or what I had to do once I got there, it felt very relaxed.

Once I’d done her hair she put me back in my room and then about half an hour later she opened it again, dressed fully in her work clothes and left a fresh bottle of water, various pieces of fruit and a cling film covered bowl of couscous salad before giving me a kiss and closing the door again.

I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before but I have a routine, I wake up in the morning about twenty minutes before I need to be up and my hand slides between my legs and I think about whatever naughty things that get me wet that particular day and I bring myself to a silent satisfying climax before I get up and shower ready to start the day. Then in the evening when I slide into bed I curl up on my side and the same hand slides between my legs to finish my day off the way I like to. This has been my routine for literally years and strange as it may seem, not masturbating is just not natural for me.

Miss Fiona knows all about this, hence the chains and cuffs. Yes she had ordered me not to touch myself but she also knows me well enough to know I’d find that extremely difficult, especially when there is literally nothing else to occupy my mind.

So I laid on the bed in my empty little room and started to fantasize about all sorts of perverted things that I can’t remember now, my hands rubbed across my nipples and then instinctively went for my pussy until the chains stopped them. The other thing that I’m sure I’ve mentioned before is that I need clitoral stimulation to cum, it’s pretty much impossible to get me over the edge in any other way and by this point I was extremely horny and getting increasingly frustrated so I decided to think about something else, it was either that or risk my sanity!

I was drinking a lot more than I usually do because it was one of my rules and also because it was something to do. The problem is that drinking a lot has one inevitable consequence and I couldn’t hold it off any longer. I moved the tray so that I could put a foot either side and then squatted over it and let go. For some reason it made me blush despite the fact that no one was in the room with me, it made me feel a little inhuman. Fortunately she’d left a roll of paper so I wiped and then went back to looking out of the window.

windowThat was pretty much how it went for the first half of the week….get up and use the toilet before having a shower and brushing my hair. Brush and dry Miss Fiona’s hair and then back to my room. Spend the next nine hours mindlessly looking out of the window, day dreaming and having absolutely zero stress. Do some exercise by running on the spot or doing sits up and press ups. Be let out of my room to change my tray and enjoy a healthy meal and some conversation with Miss Fiona and then back to my room for the night and more tie with myself.

There were a few changes starting on Wednesday when she let me come and sit on the floor next to her for half an hour while she watch TV. She laid my head on her knee and gently stroked my hair whilst she watched, occasionally she would dip her finger in her glass of wine and put it to my lips and I would suck it off her finger tip, it tasted divine.

On the Thursday when she left my food and drink for the day she also left a children’s colouring book, a “Frozen” one, and some colouring pencils. It sounds ridiculous but I was so excited by this at the time because it was something for me to do and put my mind to, even if it was a very simple task. I spent most of the day very neatly colouring in pictures of the Elsa and Anna, it was very therapeutic.

On Friday morning Miss Fiona unlocked my cuffs and removed them, disconnecting the chains from my collar which remained in place. She didn’t say anything about it, just removed them and left for work leaving me with a teenagers jewellery making kit. I spent the day making a bracelet for my sister and a really intricate necklace for Miss Fiona and didn’t touch myself once, not because I didn’t want to though. For some reason I was so nervous presenting the necklace to her at dinner but she seemed to really love it and bizarrely that made me so happy that I cried! I cried for about half an hour with no idea why and she held me tight the whole time without asking me any questions or trying to make me talk about it, then she put me back in my room and I fell sound asleep.

In the morning she didn’t let me out, I woke up and there was a one litre bottle of water with a hint of lemon and some fruit already in the room. I ate and drank, enjoying the flavoured water immensely and waited really quite patiently. Eventually the door opened and a naked Miss Fiona lead me to the bathroom where she’d run a very deep bubble bath which she climbed into and then helped me in with her and I laid there against her soaking until we were all wrinkled.

We dried each other afterwards and then climbed into her bed and made slow, sensual, sweet vanilla love to each other for hours.

On the face of it this was just a boring week stuck in a room with nothing to do, I guess a form of torture. That’s how I saw it at the start but as the time passed I literally felt tension seeping out of my body and I just completely relaxed for the first time in a very long time and it made me feel amazing. The detox was also really good and made me feel good, my skin is much better and I feel like I have more energy, I’ve even bought some (adult) colouring books as I find it really helps me to relax a lot.

I have a lot more to tell you all about and I will be writing about them over the coming weeks, I’ve been officially collared by Miss Fiona now and had a sort of formal collaring with a few people there.

I did some thinking about this blog while I was in the room and from today I want to do two posts a week. One like this one which is about my life and what’s going on in it and the other about my BDSM experiences. The initial BDSM posts will be ones that I’ve been promising for ages and then as I do new things I will post about those as well. I can’t promise they will all be long but I do promise to make the effort to post.

An email

The following is an email I received in response to a query I made of an acquaintance of Fiona’s:


Lois (and Fiona),

The insertion of an NG Tube carries many potential problems, the insertion of multiple NG tubes will carry additional complications and I would strongly advise against anyone but a very experienced medical professional carrying out such a procedure, especially with the larger variant of tube.

The main risk I see is damage to the pharynx or oesophagus especially during the insertion of the second tube but as I mentioned, a medical professional will be able to mitigate that risk. Once the tube(s) are inserted the main issue, baring in mind your stated objective, is vomiting. Vomiting with an NG tube inserted could cause serious complications and the tube(s) should be removed immediately if it occurs, you should be monitored throughout your proposed scene for this reason.

To reduce the chance of vomiting I would advise building a tolerance to the urine, especially stronger urine, by drinking your own daily and gradually increasing the volume as you approach the day of the scene, it may also be beneficial to take some over the counter anti sickness tablets directly before the scene. During the scene it may be a good idea to wear a loosely fitting posture collar as it will help keep your neck straight, which is important.

Good luck.

Regards
Dr xxxxx xxxxxxxx

NG Tubes

IMG_0065

A nasogastric tube is a narrow bore tube passed into the stomach via the nose. It is used for short or medium term nutritional support toilet duty.

The use of a nasogastric tube is suitable for enteral feeding for up to six weeks human toilets for up to eight hours. Polyurethane or silicone feeding tubes are unaffected by gastric acid and can therefore remain in the stomach for a longer period than PVC tubes, which can only be used for up to two weeks.

Doldrums

Septum

I’ve been very “off” the last few weeks and am only just getting back to feeling like myself, I mentioned it in my last post but thought I was getting back on track at the time, it turns out it went on a lot longer.

A few things have happened whilst that was going on but unfortunately I haven’t felt much like writing so I apologise for that. The first is that I met up with Hannah and her sub along with her Domme friend who paid me a visit in the middle of the night. The second was the party where Luke would fulfil my Forniphilia fantasy and I’m going to fill you in on one of those today.

However, it’s probably not the one you were hoping for! I promise I will write about the part this week but it will have to wait until I have more time later in the week. This week is a little busy for me so I’ll struggle to get it to you any earlier.

So after the turbulent start (Part 1, Part 2 & Part 3) with Hannah’s friend we decided to put it all behind us and all go out for a meal together. It was a fairly casual place so I jeans and a low cut top with a long cardigan and some heels over some nice underwear, I know I’m going to get moaned at for wearing jeans but I decided this Domme had seen enough of me this early in proceedings.

I’m going to describe her now which is a little cringy because I know there is a good chance she will read this but I’ll try and be honest. She is thirty five, taller than me and a little stockier but still very feminine in shape, thin but not skinny. She has long dark brown hair  with a a blonde ombre which is quite thick and wavy, she wore it down when we met and I was very jealous, it’s gorgeous. Her eyes are quite large and dark brown, I found them to be very penetrating and would be easy to get lost in I think.

She was wearing a dark red lip stick and simple but dark make up which only served to emphasise her eyes. She wore a tight black dress that ended just above her knees and was almost met by her knee high boots, barely any skin on show but she still looked very sexy. Suffice to say I was impressed when we met but as I’ve said many times looks are far from the top of my list of perfect partner traits.

The conversation started off fairly easy, Hannah introduced the Domme and I which was a little awkward but neither of us brought up our first introduction until a lot later int he evening. I ended up sat next to Hannah’s sub either by their design or by chance (I’m fairly convinced it was the former) so it was the two subs opposite the two Domme’s in a booth. Hannah made her sub, who was wearing a very short skirt and no underwear, lift her skirt and sit directly on the seat with her naked ass and then told her to discreetly play with her clit and not speak until she was told to stop.

The waiter came and took our drinks order, Hannah ordering water for her now squirming sub, the rest of us having wine. I took the opportunity when the Domme’s weren’t looking to squeeze her knee and give her a reassuring smile but she just gave me a silent gasp back and the look on her face made me wet.

Hannah’s sub (she me to refrain from using her name) is a few years younger than me and is fairly new to the scene although she has been gay her whole life. She has really thrown herself into the sub role and has really blossomed with Hannah to the point that she is quite willing to follow demanding orders such as masturbating at the table of a crowded restaurant. Of course she is not allowed to orgasm without permission and as those who have read about my dealings with her will know, Hannah enjoys denial torture.

It was only once we the food orders had been taken and the starters arrived that Hannah allowed her to stop rubbing herself and ordered her to clean her fingers. The girl was just about to put them in her mouth after gratefully leaving her probably swollen clit alone when the other Domme piped up and said “Why doesn’t Lois clean them for her”.

I couldn’t help but smile, it did cause a nice feeling to run through me that I haven’t felt in a long time, those that aren’t submissive won’t understand but the feeling of being given an order, especially one that is inappropriate for the setting is quite a nice rush. Hannah’s sub offered me her hand blushing because we could all see it was covered in her juices and and I took her wrist and moved her fingers close to my  lips, then I grabbed her napkin and wiped her hand with it leaving it dry and then laid it on her knee.

The Dome laughed and Hannah rolled her eyes before turning to the Domme and saying, quite loudly, “I told you she needs a lot of work”. I just smiled to myself thinking “that will teach you for scaring the shit out of me!” and dug into my calamari, I could see Hannah’s sub stifling a grin as she began to eat too.

After that the night continued without any more play, everyone was allowed to talk normally although H’s sub maintained a much more respectful tone than I did. I wasn’t feeling in the mood to be that way and to be honest they hadn’t earned it from me recently. Maybe I AM in need of some retraining in the art of submission!

After the mains Hannah took her sub off to the bathroom to very unsubtly give me and the Domme some time to talk alone. We got on very well, she is clever and funny and she definitely has that air of dominance about her that I need from someone who wants to dominate me with any success. Eventually she asked if I would like to go out again, just the two of us and I said that sounded good, then as I watched she picked up my half full glass of wine and let some spit run from her mouth into it before placing it back where it was. Then, as Hannah and a slightly dishevelled looking sub returned she said, “I hope next time you will not disobey me” but I didn’t have time to answer.

No one had a desert but we all had coffee so I left my wine where it was, eventually it was time to head home but as we were getting up the Domme said “finish your wine Lois”. I considered it for a second and then lifted the glass and downed the contents before giving her a little smiling blush and turning for the door.

My sister was waiting outside and I didn’t want to give any awkward hugs so I said bye and then I was gone.

I really enjoyed the evening, I love spending time with Hannah and her sub and I got on really well with the Domme and am looking forward to our “date”, I’ll let you know how that goes!

Finally you may wonder what the picture accompanying this post is all about? Well, I am thinking of getting a septum piercing but want to be able to hide it most of the time, only putting it to proper use in play. It’s something I have been looking into and there are options for this, another thing to let you know about next time x