Thoughts for the day

I went to bed last night quite happy despite having posted a fully naked picture of myself online and having only eaten porridge and drank water for every meal that day. Posting a picture of myself was a huge deal for me as anyone who reads my blog will know but it got a generally good response which buoyed my feelings on it.

I won’t up in a less good mood, I drink a lot of caffeine, possibly too much, and after drinking only water all day yesterday I was hit with the caffeine withdrawal this morning and had a bad headache. I dutifully had my horribly bland and mushy porridge and started working and then my day got even worse.

My heart absolutely sank when I saw the messages accusing me of posting a fake picture. I’ve spent years writing on this blog and posting on Tumblr and have built up, I think, some good credibility that I am who I say I am and do the things I say I do, all without posting pictures of myself. So when I finally do and that is what causes people to question my legitimacy it really hurt me feelings, I was really quite upset.

Having calmed down a bit about it I can see what people mean about the picture, there is a part of my shoulder missing and there is fuzziness around my head where the photos were edited out by Mistresses friend. It didn’t show up so much on my phone but when I looked at it blown up on a computer it was more noticeable, if I’d known I wouldn’t have posted it.

I hope Mistresses post from earlier today alleviates any fears that I’ve been deceiving you for all these years, because I would be devastated if this caused people to stop believing in me, I really would.

In other news, I HATE porridge! I only get to make it with porridge oats and hot water, nothing else and its disgustingly bland and ugh, I hate you all for putting me through this!

Attention seeking punishment

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If you don’t follow me on Tumblr you will have missed this but the other day Mistress and I were discussing why I write this blog and run my Tumblr blog. The outcome of that conversation was her deciding that I do them because I like the attention and that I should be punished for that attention seeking and that it would be fitting if the severity of the punishment was dependant on how popular I had actually made myself.

So, she had me make a post on Tumblr and based on how popular that post was, i.e. how many notes it got, the punishments would get progressively worse. She asked me how many I thought it would get and how many I thought was a fairly unobtainable goal, I said it would likely get about 50 notes and that I’d be pretty amazed if it went over 200. Based on that the punishments went like this:

  1. More than 10 notes: Ten minutes naked corner time for every note.
  2. More than 25 notes: One hour wearing one binder clip on pussy or breasts for every note.
  3. More than 50 notes: One hour wearing a locking anal plug for every note (no breaks)
  4. More than 100 notes: One week eating only plain porridge and drinking only water.
  5. More than 250 notes: One hour in my chastity belt for every note (no breaks).
  6. More than 500 notes: Post a full nude on both blogs.

So there was mixture of painful things, unpleasant long experiences and, as you know for me, the worst emotional thing I can be threatened with. However I was fairly confident that number six would never happen.

I was wrong! As the notes approached 500, helped along by what I consider to be significant cheating by commenting on the post with nonsense but that Mistress said was “your fans giving you the attention you crave”, it was queried (much to my dismay) what would happen after 500. So Mistress decided that we would start again each time meaning that 510 notes would mean a picture and 100 minutes of corner time and so on.

The final count was 615 notes which is fairly amazing and I’m pretty flattered and impressed that I managed to get that many, at the same time as being horrified by what it means!

Firstly, it means that this was my breakfast this morning and will also be my lunch and dinner, which I will eat with Mistress after I have made her a delicious caesar salad by the way!

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Secondly, it means that I have to post a fully nude picture of myself here and on my Tumblr account. Mistress chose the picture so blame her if it isn’t what you hoped for…

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The Room

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Many many things happened with me in the last month, some good, some bad but they culminated in me having a really good and positive start to the new year.

Back at the beginning of December I was starting to feel quite unwell, I was having dizzy spells and had fainted a few times including once at work. Then one day my vision started to go blurry and Miss Fiona insisted that I went to see a doctor.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had these symptoms though, a few years ago I went through all of the same things and the cause was essentially stress. At the time I was having personal problems and was under a huge amount of pressure at work though and things weren’t particularly bad this time so I was a little worried if I’m honest.

Miss Fiona made an appointment for me and when I arrived at the doctors she was there waiting to go in with me. At this point our relationship hadn’t really gone that far and this felt a little pushy to me but looking back now it was the start of things getting really good between us. After Miss Fiona had ensured I’d disclosed every tiny detail of the past few weeks the doctor said that I had “Acute Fatigue with a level of Stress” and signed me off work for a week.

It wasn’t actually very convenient to be off work that week, in fact it was impossible so I spoke with one of the partners and agreed to take the following week off as leave rather than being signed off.

As it turned out Miss Fiona had some ideas about how to help me relax and recuperate during my week off, she refused to tell me what they were and instead asked me to submit to her 24/7 for the week. I would stay at her house from Sunday to Saturday and must follow the rules that she set for me.

I was a little dubious about this, as I mentioned we’d had a few dates and were getting on well but our relationship was progressing quite slowly by design and it was a big leap to go from that to something 24/7 especially when I didn’t really know what would be involved. That said I was really starting to harbor strong feelings for her so in the end I agreed to her terms.

On the Saturday Miss Fiona had arranged and paid for me to have colonic hydrotherapy (aka colonic irrigation) which is something I’ve never done. Weirdly considering I’ve had many enema’s I was nervous and more than a little embarrassed by this but the girls there were really nice and talked me through it all. It was an interesting and quite satisfying experience.

collarI arrived at her house at midday on the Sunday and as soon as I was in the door with my suitcase full of clothes and makeup etc she told me I wouldn’t be needing any clothes because I was going to be naked for the entire week apart from the leather collar that she then produced. It had two chains running from a D-ring in the front, each of which had a matching leather cuff on the end.  Whilst still stood just inside the (thankfully closed) front door she had me strip and then turn and kneel so she could fasten the collar around my neck and lock it, then I stood again so she could fasten and lock the cuffs to my wrists.

She held my wrists and pulled my arms straight, only I couldn’t straighten them properly because of the chain and I realised the chains were just long enough to prevent me reaching my pussy. She saw the realisation hit me and grinning before turning and saying “Come”.

She led me upstairs and into her spare bedroom, past the double bed which was covered in a pile of clothes, and into her walk in wardrobe which was empty. It is basically a small room with a solid wooden door and a small window that overlooks her spacious garden. It has rails along both sides of it but all the clothes had been removed and the only thing in the room was a cat’s litter tray, a small inflatable bed and a bottle of water and a glass. After she had explained everything to me whilst I knelt on the floor she closed the door.

These were the my rules for the week:

  • I was not to leave the room without Miss Fiona (the door wasn’t locked)
  • I was not allowed to pleasure myself in any way (the chains were there to help)
  • I had to finished the 2l bottle of water every day (it was replaced each morning)
  • I had to eat whatever food was left for me
  • The litter tray was for me to pee in
  • I would be allowed 30 minutes bathroom time each day
  • We would eat an evening meal together but we could not talk about the arrangements or rules until the following Saturday unless it was urgent

That first day I was really regretting agreeing to the arrangement, within minutes I was bored and after a couple of hours I was getting sorely tempted to open the door. I’d find out later that Miss Fiona had been sat on the other side of the door the whole time waiting to see how I would react.

After a while, I’d lost track of how long, the door opened and she led me downstairs and into the kitchen where she had prepared us a meal. The food was very healthy and I later found out that my diet for the week had been carefully selected with advice from the clinic where I got the colonic. We talked about various things, she makes me laugh a lot which I like and whilst our dynamic is always present she doesn’t make me feel in any way inferior to her, it’s hard to describe but in my opinion it is the perfect way to be dominant.As soon as we’d finished she asked if I needed the bathroom, I didn’t so she lead me back to the room and the door was closed again.

She has smart lights in her house and the closet light is on a motion sensor so that it turns on when you walk in, however I’d find that it was also on a timer so at 9:30 it stopped turning on and there was only the dim ambient light from the window to see by, not that there was anything to see. The bed was surprisingly comfy once I found a position where the chains weren’t under me and I fell asleep shortly after the lights went off which is very early for me.

I only woke up when the door opened the next morning, it was the best sleep I’d had for months. The collar and chains stayed on whilst I used the toilet and had a shower, I dried myself and brushed my hair (I wasn’t allowed to dry it) whilst Miss Fiona showered and then she had me blow dry and brush her hair for her. It was nice to do such a simple task and not have to worry about getting ready for work or what I had to do once I got there, it felt very relaxed.

Once I’d done her hair she put me back in my room and then about half an hour later she opened it again, dressed fully in her work clothes and left a fresh bottle of water, various pieces of fruit and a cling film covered bowl of couscous salad before giving me a kiss and closing the door again.

I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about this before but I have a routine, I wake up in the morning about twenty minutes before I need to be up and my hand slides between my legs and I think about whatever naughty things that get me wet that particular day and I bring myself to a silent satisfying climax before I get up and shower ready to start the day. Then in the evening when I slide into bed I curl up on my side and the same hand slides between my legs to finish my day off the way I like to. This has been my routine for literally years and strange as it may seem, not masturbating is just not natural for me.

Miss Fiona knows all about this, hence the chains and cuffs. Yes she had ordered me not to touch myself but she also knows me well enough to know I’d find that extremely difficult, especially when there is literally nothing else to occupy my mind.

So I laid on the bed in my empty little room and started to fantasize about all sorts of perverted things that I can’t remember now, my hands rubbed across my nipples and then instinctively went for my pussy until the chains stopped them. The other thing that I’m sure I’ve mentioned before is that I need clitoral stimulation to cum, it’s pretty much impossible to get me over the edge in any other way and by this point I was extremely horny and getting increasingly frustrated so I decided to think about something else, it was either that or risk my sanity!

I was drinking a lot more than I usually do because it was one of my rules and also because it was something to do. The problem is that drinking a lot has one inevitable consequence and I couldn’t hold it off any longer. I moved the tray so that I could put a foot either side and then squatted over it and let go. For some reason it made me blush despite the fact that no one was in the room with me, it made me feel a little inhuman. Fortunately she’d left a roll of paper so I wiped and then went back to looking out of the window.

windowThat was pretty much how it went for the first half of the week….get up and use the toilet before having a shower and brushing my hair. Brush and dry Miss Fiona’s hair and then back to my room. Spend the next nine hours mindlessly looking out of the window, day dreaming and having absolutely zero stress. Do some exercise by running on the spot or doing sits up and press ups. Be let out of my room to change my tray and enjoy a healthy meal and some conversation with Miss Fiona and then back to my room for the night and more tie with myself.

There were a few changes starting on Wednesday when she let me come and sit on the floor next to her for half an hour while she watch TV. She laid my head on her knee and gently stroked my hair whilst she watched, occasionally she would dip her finger in her glass of wine and put it to my lips and I would suck it off her finger tip, it tasted divine.

On the Thursday when she left my food and drink for the day she also left a children’s colouring book, a “Frozen” one, and some colouring pencils. It sounds ridiculous but I was so excited by this at the time because it was something for me to do and put my mind to, even if it was a very simple task. I spent most of the day very neatly colouring in pictures of the Elsa and Anna, it was very therapeutic.

On Friday morning Miss Fiona unlocked my cuffs and removed them, disconnecting the chains from my collar which remained in place. She didn’t say anything about it, just removed them and left for work leaving me with a teenagers jewellery making kit. I spent the day making a bracelet for my sister and a really intricate necklace for Miss Fiona and didn’t touch myself once, not because I didn’t want to though. For some reason I was so nervous presenting the necklace to her at dinner but she seemed to really love it and bizarrely that made me so happy that I cried! I cried for about half an hour with no idea why and she held me tight the whole time without asking me any questions or trying to make me talk about it, then she put me back in my room and I fell sound asleep.

In the morning she didn’t let me out, I woke up and there was a one litre bottle of water with a hint of lemon and some fruit already in the room. I ate and drank, enjoying the flavoured water immensely and waited really quite patiently. Eventually the door opened and a naked Miss Fiona lead me to the bathroom where she’d run a very deep bubble bath which she climbed into and then helped me in with her and I laid there against her soaking until we were all wrinkled.

We dried each other afterwards and then climbed into her bed and made slow, sensual, sweet vanilla love to each other for hours.

On the face of it this was just a boring week stuck in a room with nothing to do, I guess a form of torture. That’s how I saw it at the start but as the time passed I literally felt tension seeping out of my body and I just completely relaxed for the first time in a very long time and it made me feel amazing. The detox was also really good and made me feel good, my skin is much better and I feel like I have more energy, I’ve even bought some (adult) colouring books as I find it really helps me to relax a lot.

I have a lot more to tell you all about and I will be writing about them over the coming weeks, I’ve been officially collared by Miss Fiona now and had a sort of formal collaring with a few people there.

I did some thinking about this blog while I was in the room and from today I want to do two posts a week. One like this one which is about my life and what’s going on in it and the other about my BDSM experiences. The initial BDSM posts will be ones that I’ve been promising for ages and then as I do new things I will post about those as well. I can’t promise they will all be long but I do promise to make the effort to post.

I got burned

Not in as in I was insulted, as in I literally got a burn on my arm from an air bag going off after someone drove into the front of my car the weekend before last. As you can see below, this is not the kind of injury my masochistic side enjoys.

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This was at the end of a weekend that started out with significant promise but gradually deteriorated until it was in the same state as my car ended up, written off!

Lets go back to the start of the weekend, Friday night when, after showering, I spent an hour edging myself to make my pussy nice and wet prior to a date with Fiona just as she had told me to do.

I laid on my bed naked and pinched my nipples with one hand whilst rubbing the fingers of my other hand over my clit fantasising various different fantasies. Each time I felt my orgasm coming close I stopped and waited until it receded and then began again until my pussy was literally leaking onto the towel I had placed beneath me.

I kept going until I had just enough time to get ready, then I got dressed in a little black dress with bra but no underwear and did my hair and makeup before going downstairs and standing in the window to wait for her. She had text me to say she was setting off and that when she arrived she wanted to see me in the window with my hand up my dress on the verge of an orgasm.

I watched the taxi pull up as I stood in the window, the lights dimmed so I wasn’t too visible but just visible enough for her to see, with my dress pulled up at the front to reveal my slightly spread legs and my fingers circling my clit. When I was sure she had seen me I straightened my dress and headed out to the car.

As I climbed into the taxi I subtly pulled the back of my dress up so that when I sat down my bare ass went directly onto the seat rather than resting on my clothing, just as I had been told to. It felt dirty, putting my most intimate parts against that seat that had been sat on by a large number of strangers, it was a turn on. Fiona leaned over and kissed me deeply and passionately for a good ten seconds before sitting back down and saying “hi”. I glanced at the drivers mirror and saw him watching and blushed as he looked away and set off towards our destination.

I raised my eyebrows and said “hi to you too”, we’ve agreed not to use any titles or anything in a public setting. As we drove she placed her hand on my knee and then slowly moved it up my inner thigh, it was so unsubtle that it made me smirk until she got about two inches from my pussy and discovered how disgustingly wet I was and said “good girl” and I blushed and noticed the driver take another look at us in his mirror.

My hands were on the seat either side of me for the whole journey, submissive, inviting, just the way I was feeling. Her hand remained at the top of my thigh with her little finger just touching my bare pussy lips and slowly moving backwards and forwards stroking me. I was very conscious that her hand had pushed my dress up so that I was now essentially naked from the waist down but I was fairly sure the driver couldn’t see and no one outside would be able to.

When we arrived Fiona paid the driver and we got out, I pulled my dress down as I climbed out but if the driver had been looking he would have got a great view of my naked ass and I’ve no idea if he was looking or not. I do know that I left a wet patch on his seat which is disgusting but really was Fiona’s fault!

Our destination was a restaurant and we had a nice meal there, she asked me what I wanted and then ordered for both of us in quite a patronising way. She said “I’ll have the goat’s cheese to start and then the bream, she’ll have the calamari and the ravioli”, I wasn’t expecting it and when the girl looked at me as she wrote down my order all I could do was look back and sheepishly smile at her.

We talked about all sorts of normal things and then our starters came and we ate those, then as soon as the plates were cleared she said “I want you to cum for me before the mains come”. It took me by surprise and I just kind of looked at her incredulously and said “what, here?”. Her response was to just smile and nod and then she said “and if you fail you’ll earn something much worse”.

The table we were at was against a wall and it was a table for four with only two of us at it so it provided more cover than it could have, but I was still sat in the middle of a crowded restaurant. Despite that I was extremely horny and excited by what she wanted me to do so I slid my left hand (which was nearest the wall) between my legs and up my dress and began to rub on my already swollen clit.

I’m sure this is true for everyone, male and female, it’s hard to keep a normal face whilst masturbating. At the very least your mouth drops open and your eyes either lose focus or intently focus on one spot so to combat this I stared into Fiona’s eyes and bit my bottom lip, biting a little harder and narrowing my eyes each time the sensations forced me to react.

She watched me intently as I sat across from her masturbating in a restaurant and after a minute she said “don’t stop no matter what” and then seconds later a waiter appeared with our next round of drinks.

I didn’t stop, I definitely didn’t stop but I slowed my fingers enough that I could regain some composure and acknowledge that he was there and say thank you. It was my downfall, because my impending orgasm receded enough that despite my renewed efforts once he’d gone I was still trying to tease myself over the edge when Fiona said “stop” and then moments later our main courses arrived.

It was so frustrating, I hate edging, I hate the feeling of the ecstasy of an orgasm that was so close fading away into oblivion but I had no choice. I removed my fingers, straightened my dress again and picked up my fork. Fiona looked at me and tutted, then carried on as if nothing had happened.

We finished our food and drinks and Fiona asked for bill which she paid. Then she handed me the little wallet that the bill came in and gave me my punishment before walking out of the restaurant and calling a taxi.

I put a generous tip into the wallet and then wrote my name and phone number on a paper napkin that had come with my coffee, underneath my phone number I wrote “Call me x”. I took a deep breath and then with crimson cheeks I intercepted the waitress and handed her the wallet with the napkin on top of it.

The girl, who must have been at least six years younger than me, looked down at the wallet and napkin, then turned the napkin around and read it whilst I stood there like an idiot. As she read it her eyes widened and then she looked up blushing and said “oh, erm, thanks” and then quickly walked away into the kitchen.

I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me as I almost ran outside to meet Fiona who’d been watching through the window and was now looking very amused. I said she was mean and she told me that maybe I’d do as I was told next time. As I climbed into the taxi I looked back through the window and saw the waitress looking at me, we both looked away when we made eye contact and then the taxi drove away.

We had previously agreed that I was going to stay at her house, a big step baring in mind how it ended last time I stayed over but with everything out in the open I was past thinking about that. I paid the taxi and followed her up to and through her front door, then she was on me.

She pinned me to the wall with her body kissing me and her hand was between my legs and I was grabbing her ass and it was just passionate vanilla horniness for a couple of minutes, then she pulled my dress over my head. When I tried to do the same for her she stepped back and wagged a finger at me smiling and said “wait there”.

She returned a minute later with handcuffs. She removed my bra and threw it on top of my dress then gently moved my hands behind my back and attached the cuffs to them, I put up absolutely no resistance, there is this feeling when you submit to another person, allow them to control you in a very physical way, that I just love. It takes me to a psychological place that I would just love to live in 24/7.

She held the cuffs with one hand and my hair with the other as she led me upstairs to her bedroom wearing only my heels. When we arrived she sat down on the bed with her legs spread and then pulled me down so I was sort of squatting with my pussy resting on her thigh, then she lent back on her arms and said “cum!”.

It was hot, she pushed with her toes to apply upwards pressure as I ground my pussy into her thigh until I found a good position just above her knee where the pressure on my clit was just right and then I let out a loud uninhibited moan as I came hard against her leg and my legs went wobbly and I collapsed forward into her arms.

She gave me a minute and then she pushed me down off her and onto the floor so that I could see the amount of wetness I’d left on her leg, so much that it had run around her thigh and down the sides of her calf. She told me to clean it, and I did.

I licked every part of her leg that had my mess on it, up her calves, over her knee and thigh, then I continued. A little brazenly for a submissive I licked up her inner thigh until I came to her pussy, which I discovered was as naked as mine had been all night, and then I began running my tongue up her slit and around her clit.

She enjoyed my attentions for about twenty minutes and then I moved it up a gear and with a handful of my hair in her fist she came on my mouth. Then, without hardly ten seconds to recover she yanked my head back and put her face right up close to mine and said “who the fuck said you could do that?”.

I have to admit I was a little shocked by the change of pace and to the reaction to me giving her pleasure. She stood up pulling me with her by my hair and undid my cuffs before saying “bent the fuck over Lois”. I did as I was told as she pulled open a large drawer under the bed, produced a long cane from it and held it to my mouth, I dutifully took the cane with my lips and held it tight.

She moved behind me whilst saying “If we are going to do this you need to relearn discipline, I won’t stand for you trying to take control or topping from the bottom. So you’ve earned yourself ten hard strokes from the cane. What do you have to say?”.

I stood there, legs straight, bent at the waist with my arms straight on the bed and my back slightly arched so my ass was pushed out with her juices drying on my face and tried to speak with the cane in my mouth but she slapped my ass hard and then grabbed the cane which I let go of. Then I said “Yes Miss, I’m sorry.”.

She slapped my other ass cheek and said “Sorry for what?” and then continued to slap each cheek in turn as I said “I’m sorry for trying to take control Miss”. The slaps weren’t too bad but hard enough that I could feel my ass starting to burn by the time she stopped, then she said “Count”.

It’s quite a while since I’ve been caned, properly caned and even when you’re used to it the sharp sudden pain of it is still significant and she didn’t hold back. I heard the cane cut through the air and then her first strike landed right in the middle of my ass and almost knocked me out of position but I maintained it as I sucked in air and took the pain.

The next strike hit about an inch below the first, the one that followed was an inch above the first and then one an inch below the second and finally one right at the top. She is clearly well practised with the cane, each one hit with the same force and I would find out later were perfectly on target.

I’m a sexual masochist, I enjoy pain. I’m turned on by people inflicting pain on me but that doesn’t mean other natural reactions to pain don’t apply to me as well. The swats were hard, my ass was burning and I had tears in my eyes by the time she finished the fifth one. We have discussed safe words already, I knew what to say to stop her but I wasn’t about to, my pussy welling up just as much as my eyes.

The next five felt as though the landed in exactly the same spots as the first five but afterwards, when she was cuddling me on the bed and she let me run my hands over my ass I discovered the first five had been done at an angle and the latter five the opposite angle so that the now raised red welts formed a pretty crisscross pattern across the pale skin of my ass.

I fell asleep in her arms but when I woke up in the middle of the night my arms were handcuffed behind my back again and a little achy, I can’t believe she managed to handcuff me without waking me. I just snuggled back up to her warm body and went back to sleep.

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So that was all good, it was an amazing date and I left Fiona’s the next day feeling very happy. I chilled at home for a while laying on my bed (on my front because it was too sore to sit on my ass) and then I got undressed and went to take a shower, this is when things took an unexpected turn.

I was in the shower washing my hair, back to the door and my sister walks straight in, no knock, no warning, just walks straight in. I have no problem with my sister seeing me naked, it wouldn’t be the first time and I didn’t immediately think much of it until I heard her shout “WHAT THE FUCK?!” and I instinctively spun round and put my hands on my ass cheeks.

I finished my hair and got dry enough to put on a dressing gown (robe if you’re American?), I checked out my ass so I would know exactly what she’d seen, it was bad, the welts from the caning were bright red and covered my ass, I couldn’t think of a single plausible excuse for them.

When I went into my room she was sat on my bed waiting for me, for some reason I thought she would be angry but she wasn’t, she was concerned. She came over and hugged me and said “what the fuck happened to you? are you ok?” and I couldn’t help but giggle, which didn’t go down well!

There was no way to lie my way out of it and I really didn’t want to, it gets tiring hiding your real self from everyone and despite her very vanillaness she is my sister and if anyone will accept me for who I am she would. So I told her everything.

Well, not everything! I told her about BDSM (“What, bondage and stuff? Like Fifty Shades?”) and that I was submissive and a masochist and that the welts were from me getting caned. I left out why I got caned and I didn’t tell her about any of the more extreme or bizarre things I’ve done, I figured it was enough of a shock already. I did have to admit that Fiona, who she knew I’d been out with last night, was a Dominant and was responsible for the state of my ass.

The conversation was long and drawn out and went round in circles but I didn’t blame her and I answered everything honestly, it felt good to be completely honest with her even though she seemed horrified at times and angry at others. Eventually wine was involved which helped my ass feel a bit better after I’d been sat on it for hours pretending it wasn’t really sore!

Then the next day the crash happened and she was there ten minutes after it happened and was my big sister again and helped me and looked after me and no more was said about my illicit lifestyle for a good few days.

We’ve discussed it again since, she’s had more questions and she’s promised to keep it to herself but she seems to be coming to terms with it. We’ll see what happens I guess!

If you got this far please leave a comment, I really love reading and responding to them no matter what they are. Questions, suggestion, lewd insults! I just love conversing with the people who actually read what I write x

Thank you :)

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It seems I have some thanks to give to all the people who take the time to read my blog and share their comments with me, I really am grateful for ever single reader and I hope you continue to take an interest in this inconsequential girl.

Thank you for all of the submissions in response to my request last week, they have all been very creative and I’ve spent time with my hand between my legs whilst reading all of them. I’m not certain which I like the most yet, I’m going to read them all again and then decide and let the “winner” know so they can devise a task for me to complete if they want to.

Special thanks to these people who took the time to write something and post it:

And speaking of tasks, thank you as well for the suggested additions to the challenge I have set myself for tomorrow night, it promises to be horrendous which is exactly what I need right now and I’m weirdly looking forward to finding out what effect the tens unit has on my already cramping stomach.

The final thank you is for everyone who viewed my blog yesterday, in June 2012 I got 565 views in a single day and that has stood as the “Best Views Ever” day on my stats ever since, until yesterday when I got 586 views! It’s ridiculous but I can’t tell you how excited this made me last night (admittedly I was a little drunk) to the point that I even broke one of my golden rules and posted a picture of myself on Tumblr!

An update and a little help?

Hi there, I don’t know if anyone is still reading this considering how poor I’ve been at actually writing anything new. I’ve actually been looking back through my old posts and it’s appalling how many times I’ve felt the need to apologise for not keeping this blog up to date!

Things have been happening in my life, I’ve actually completed one of my fantasies! “Which one?” I hear you ask, well this one:

  • Have my body modified (in a sexual way) without my prior knowledge of what will be changed

I do intend to write a detailed account of what happened but who knows if or when that will happen so I’ll skip to the end for now. Some of you will be aware that I have a clit piercing, not a hood piercing, a clit piercing where the ring goes through the glans of the clitoris. When I had the piercing done I was given an 18 gauge ring for it and eventually I settled, or rather someone else settled, on a 12 gauge ring (about 2mm) which was locked in place with a dog tag hanging from it although when that relationship ended I removed the dog tag and just kept the ring. 

Why am I telling you this? Well shortly before Christmas that 12ga ring was forcibly replaced with a two inch diameter, 8 gauge (3.2mm!) ball closure ring (BCR) which had some kind of metal adhesive applied to the ball closure to prevent its removal. Now I know a 1.2mm increase may not sound like a lot but it’s a big jump for a piercing and especially for one in such a delicate part of the anatomy, the insertion of the new jewellery was traumatic to say the least but I was securely bound and blindfolded at the time so could offer no resistance beyond my yelps and screams. 

Putting the gauge aside for a moment just imagine what a two inch diameter ring looks like, it’s big trust me, and heavy. When I’m naked it hangs two inches below my pussy and it doesn’t sit very comfortably when wearing underwear, because it is wide it pushes my labia out into an unnatural position and my pussy no longer looks as “tidy” as it used to. 

The new jewellery also caused a problem in that it was pushing against my clitoral hood but they weren’t finished yet, once the ring was securely in place they proceeded to remove a significant portion of my hood. This is the part that, looking back, really turns me on because my body…my pussy has been permanently changed without my consent and that is something I’ve fantasised about for a long long time. 

The end result, now that everything has healed is that my clit has grown larger and is being constantly forced outward by the ring, my hood doesn’t really cover my it anymore so it is fully exposed all of the time and is insanely sensitive. It is now more comfortable to forgo wearing underwear and if I do wear any they are always wet when they come off. Very little stimulation is required for me to orgasm now, I haven’t had sex since it was done but I imagine it will be an intense experience when it happens!

So that’s the first of my fantasies to be marked off the list. I’m assured planing is well underway for at least some of the others and I know it’s true because I’ve done some “testing” for one of them (which was the pretence I was under when subjected to the above). 

The title of this post mentioned “a little help”, well whilst looking through my old posts I found that pictures were missing from several. This, I’ve discovered, is due to Flickr closing my account where the pictures were hosted which is particularly disappointing as they were the only copies I had of some photos of myself, specifically one from this post which was of my original piercing and another which had my dog tag on it. 

It’s a bit of a long shot but I was wondering if anyone who followed then and still follows now saved a copy of any of those pictures, it’s a little nostalgic but I really would like a copy of them. 

That’s my first post of 2016, I’ll write again soon when I have time and something to write about, in the mean time I update my tumblr regularly so follow me there if you’re interested x